Herbie Murray
Sleep is a precious commodity for new parents, and many are turning to the common but controversial practice of sleep training. One of the most well-known methods is the cry-it-out (CIO) method, which involves letting a baby cry until they fall asleep without intervention. While some parents swear by it, others say it is harmful. So, should you let your 1-year-old cry themselves to sleep?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Cry-it-out method | Letting your baby cry for a period of time before soothing them |
| Controlled crying | Allowing your baby to cry but providing comfort at scheduled intervals |
| Full extinction | Letting your baby cry until they fall asleep without any intervention |
| Baby-led soothing | Baby calms down without intervention from a caregiver |
| Graduated extinction | Richard Ferber's method that uses the graduated extinction model |
| Minimum age | 4 months or 16 weeks |
| Minimum weight | 11 pounds or 14 pounds |
| Benefits | Baby learns to self-soothe and develop independent sleep skills |
| Drawbacks | May be distressing for parents |
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What You'll Learn
The cry-it-out method: benefits and drawbacks
The cry-it-out (CIO) method is a sleep training technique that involves letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep without parental intervention. While some parents have found success with this method, others have expressed concerns about its potential negative impact on children's well-being.
Benefits of the CIO Method
Some parents have found that the CIO method can be effective in helping their babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. For example, one parent reported that after enduring 3 nights of their child crying, their son was able to fall asleep by himself and has been able to do so consistently for 2.5 years. Another parent shared a similar experience, stating that after one difficult evening, their daughter slept through the night and quickly adapted to falling asleep on her own. These experiences suggest that the CIO method can lead to improved sleep habits and independence in some children.
Drawbacks of the CIO Method
However, there are several potential drawbacks and concerns associated with the CIO method. Firstly, it can be emotionally challenging for parents to hear their child cry for extended periods without providing comfort. Secondly, there is a lack of scientific evidence supporting the effectiveness of the CIO method over gentler sleep training approaches. Mindell, a leading expert on sleep training, reviewed 52 studies and found no evidence that the CIO method is the fastest way to teach babies to sleep independently. Additionally, the CIO method may not work for all babies, as every child is unique and may respond differently to sleep training techniques.
Furthermore, there are concerns about the potential negative impact on children's well-being. Critics argue that letting babies get distressed can harm their relational capacities in the long term. Behaviorists who encourage the CIO method assume that adults should "be in charge" of the relationship, which may lead to the child becoming whiny, unhappy, aggressive, or demanding. However, studies have shown that caregivers who respond to a baby's needs before they get distressed are more likely to have independent children. Additionally, a review of sleep training studies found that most did not adequately measure child well-being, making it difficult to draw generalizable conclusions about the impact of the CIO method.
In conclusion, while the CIO method may work for some babies, there are valid concerns about its effectiveness and potential impact on children's well-being. It is essential for parents to carefully consider their options, consult with healthcare professionals, and choose a sleep training approach that aligns with their values and priorities.
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When to start sleep training
Sleep training is the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep by themselves. There are various methods of sleep training, with the most well-known being the cry-it-out (CIO) method. CIO involves letting your baby cry until they fall asleep without any intervention from you. While some parents have found success with this method, it is important to note that it may not be suitable for all families and there are alternative approaches such as the "pick up, put down" method.
When deciding if it is time to start sleep training, it is important to consider your baby's age and developmental stage. Most sources recommend waiting until your baby is at least 4 months old to start sleep training. This is because, by this age, babies are typically old enough to learn to self-soothe, and they may no longer require night feedings. Additionally, their sleep cycles begin to mature, and their circadian rhythm starts to take effect, allowing them to sleep for longer stretches.
Some sources suggest that it may be appropriate to start sleep training as early as 5 weeks using methods such as the Weissbluth method, which involves letting babies cry for 10 to 20 minutes before sleeping. However, it is generally recommended to wait until at least the 4-month mark as this is when babies typically experience sleep regression and their sleep cycles start to resemble more adult-like sleep stages.
For babies younger than 4 months, sleep training is often unnecessary and ineffective. At this age, their circadian rhythm is still maturing, and they are working on understanding the difference between day and night. Feeding also takes priority over sleep, and their sleep habits are typically disorganized.
If you are considering sleep training your 1-year-old, it is important to remember that every baby is different, and the right time to start will depend on their unique needs and development. Some babies may be ready to start sleep training at 6 months, while others may not be ready until later. It is always a good idea to consult with your pediatrician or healthcare professional to determine if your baby is ready for sleep training and to choose a method that aligns with your family's values and comfort level.
Additionally, it is worth noting that sleep training is not just for infants, and it is never too late to work on improving your toddler's sleep habits. Sleep training toddlers may require more flexibility and creativity due to their increased verbal and creative play, but it can be done successfully with the right approach.
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How long to let your baby cry
The Cry It Out (CIO) method is a sleep-training strategy that involves letting your baby cry themselves to sleep without any intervention from you. It is intended to strengthen your baby's self-soothing abilities, which will help them sleep for longer periods.
There are varying opinions on how long to let your baby cry. Some sources suggest that it is fine to leave your baby to cry for an hour or more, as long as they are not hungry, sick, or injured. Others recommend letting babies cry for 10 to 20 minutes before sleeping. It is important to note that the CIO method is generally not recommended for babies under 4 months old, as their circadian rhythm is still maturing and feeding takes priority over sleep.
The duration of crying will also depend on the specific CIO method being used. For example, the graduated extinction model involves gradually increasing the time between comforting your baby, starting at intervals of 2 or 5 minutes. Another approach is full extinction, where the baby is left to cry until they fall asleep without any parent interaction or checks.
It is important to be consistent when using the CIO method and to ensure that your baby's basic needs have been met. If your baby seems distressed or unwell, it is recommended to stop the CIO training immediately. Additionally, it may take a few nights or even a week for the CIO method to be effective, so it is important to be patient and persistent.
While the CIO method can be challenging for parents, it is important to remember that crying does not harm your baby and can even be helpful for them. It is a natural form of communication and can aid in processing their day, settling down, and falling asleep. However, if you have doubts about using this method, there are alternative hands-on approaches to sleep training that you can consider.
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Other sleep training methods
While some sources suggest that letting your 1-year-old cry it out is not harmful and can be beneficial, there are several other sleep training methods that you can try. It is important to remember that consistency is key when trying any sleep training approach. Here are some alternative methods:
The Fading Technique
This technique involves gradually reducing the amount of assistance your child needs to fall asleep. For example, if your child usually falls asleep while feeding, you can start by transitioning to rocking them to sleep, then gradually reduce the amount of rocking until they are able to fall asleep on their own in their crib.
The Chair Method
This method involves sitting in a chair next to your child's crib while they fall asleep. Over time, you gradually move the chair further away from the crib and closer to the door until you are eventually able to leave the room before your child falls asleep. This method can be gentle and effective, but it may take longer than other approaches.
Pick-Up, Put-Down
This method involves a combination of the Chair Method and the "pick-up, put-down" technique. It is recommended for older babies and toddlers.
Longer and Longer
This method is a variation of the cry it out approach. It involves going through your child's bedtime routine, putting them in their crib, saying good night, and then gradually increasing the amount of time before you return to check on them. For example, you might wait 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, and so on.
Dream Feeding
Dream feeding involves slightly awakening your baby to feed them just before you go to bed. The goal is to increase their sleep time by feeding them before hunger wakes them up.
Graduated Extinction
Also known as "cry it out" or "controlled crying," this method involves letting your baby cry for short periods of time before offering comfort at scheduled intervals. For example, you might let them cry for 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, and so on, gradually increasing the time intervals.
Remember, the ideal sleep training method will depend on your child's temperament, your parenting style, and your consistency in implementing the chosen approach.
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The impact on parents
Deciding whether or not to let your 1-year-old cry themselves to sleep can be a difficult decision for parents. On the one hand, the "cry it out" (CIO) method can help babies learn to self-soothe and develop independent sleep skills, but on the other hand, listening to your baby cry can be distressing for parents.
The CIO method can be emotionally challenging for parents, especially during the initial nights when the crying duration is typically the longest. Some parents have described the experience as "pure torture" and have resorted to strategies like leaving the room or engaging in distracting activities to cope with the sound of their baby's cries. However, it is important to remember that responding inconsistently or caving in halfway through can confuse the baby and reinforce the behaviour.
While some parents swear by the CIO method as the only way they and their babies got any sleep, others believe that letting a baby cry is harmful. This discrepancy in opinions can make it challenging for parents to decide whether or not to use this method. Additionally, the effectiveness of the CIO method may vary among families, and it may not work for every baby.
The decision to use the CIO method should be made based on what the parents feel comfortable with. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training, and parents should trust their instincts and choose a method that aligns with their values and beliefs. It is essential to remember that there are various sleep training techniques available, and parents can explore different options to find the most suitable approach for their family.
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Frequently asked questions
Pediatricians advise waiting until your baby is at least 16 weeks old and weighs 14 pounds before sleep training, including the cry-it-out method. However, crying it out does not have to mean leaving your baby alone. It can be helpful to keep in mind that the goal of sleep training is to help your baby learn to fall asleep independently.
Sleep training techniques such as the "cry it out" method may work for some families, but it is important to consult with your pediatrician or healthcare professional to be sure it is safe and appropriate for your baby.
There is no strict formula for how long to let a baby cry during sleep training. It depends on what parents feel comfortable with. Some sources suggest checking in on the baby at scheduled intervals, such as every 2 or 5 minutes, gradually increasing the time over several nights.
