Coexisting And Sleeping With A Roommate You Dislike

Sharing a room with someone can be challenging, especially if you don't get along. Whether it's their sleep schedule, their habits, or their very presence that bothers you, there are ways to make the situation more bearable. Here are some tips to help you navigate sharing a room with a roommate you don't like and hopefully get a good night's sleep.

Use white noise, earplugs, or headphones to block out noise

If you share a room with a roommate you don't like, one way to get a good night's sleep is to use white noise, earplugs, or headphones to block out any noise they might be making.

One option is to use a white noise machine, or an alarm clock or phone app with a white noise function. White noise will help to mask your roommate's noise and make it easier for you to fall asleep. You can choose from a variety of sounds, such as rain, wind, rustling leaves, or humming notes, selecting whichever you find most soothing. If you don't want to invest in a white noise machine, simply opening a window can also introduce white noise in the form of traffic, sirens, or nature sounds, depending on where you live.

If you prefer silence when you sleep, earplugs are a good option. Foam earplugs are usually available at local convenience stores and pharmacies, and they can effectively block out noise. If you find this solution works for you, you can invest in more comfortable, reusable moulded earplugs.

If you don't like the feeling of earplugs and white noise doesn't do the trick, you can try noise-cancelling headphones. You can play soothing music, a podcast, or an audiobook to help you relax and fall asleep. Over-the-ear headphones are better at blocking out noise than earbuds, but they require you to sleep on your back or stomach.

Using white noise, earplugs, or headphones can help you get a good night's rest when sharing a room with a roommate, even if you don't get along.

Soundproof your room with curtains, blankets, or foam

If you're looking to soundproof your room with curtains, blankets, or foam, there are a few options to consider.

Curtains

Soundproof curtains are a great way to block out noise and create a quieter space. These curtains are typically made from thick, heavy-duty materials that help to absorb sound and prevent it from entering or escaping the room. You can hang soundproof curtains around your bed, creating a canopy that surrounds your mattress to block out noise. Alternatively, you can hang them on a curtain rod above a window or from hooks on the ceiling.

Blankets

Blankets can also be used as a budget-friendly alternative to traditional soundproofing methods. To soundproof with blankets, you can cover your floors, windows, and doors. Using thick blankets or a combination of blankets and carpet can help obstruct noise from entering your room. For windows, simply hang blankets over them to absorb sound, just like soundproof curtains. If the majority of the sound is coming through the door, you can cover it with a blanket, paying special attention to any gaps at the top or sides, which can be sealed with tape.

Foam

When it comes to soundproofing with foam, it's important to note that standard acoustic foam does not block sound. Instead, it absorbs sound and prevents echoes. For effective sound blocking, consider using composite foam, which combines acoustical foam with a mass-loaded barrier. This type of foam is often used to line shared walls or to create a "room within a room" for recording studios or server rooms.

To summarise, soundproofing your room with curtains, blankets, or foam can be a creative and cost-effective solution to reduce noise and create a more peaceful environment.

Talk to your roommate about a potential solution

If you're having trouble sleeping due to a roommate that you don't like, one of the best things you can do is talk to your roommate about a potential solution. Here are some tips on how to approach this conversation:

Choose the Right Time

Avoid addressing the issue when you're feeling extremely annoyed or irritated, as you might say something you'll later regret. It's also best not to initiate the conversation if your roommate is busy studying or getting ready to leave. Instead, try to find a time when you're both relatively calm and available. You can send a text to your roommate asking when they'll be free to chat.

Talk in Person

Try to have this conversation face-to-face rather than via text or social media. It's easier to misinterpret what someone has written, and people tend to say things over text that they wouldn't say in person. Additionally, refrain from posting about your feelings on social media, as this can make the situation worse and lead to others interfering in your roommate problems.

Focus on One Problem

Instead of bringing up multiple issues at once, try to focus on the main problem, such as noise levels while you're trying to sleep. Discuss how it makes you feel and offer a suggestion for improvement. For example, you could request that they lower the volume after a certain time or use headphones. Allow your roommate to agree or disagree and work together to find a solution.

Talk About the Behaviour, Not the Person

Frame the conversation around how your roommate's behaviour affects you, rather than making personal attacks. For instance, say, "It's hard for me to sleep when there's noise late at night," instead of "You're rude for making so much noise at night." This approach shows that you're addressing a specific issue rather than criticising their character.

Listen to Your Roommate

After expressing your concerns, give your roommate a chance to respond. Remember that they may have a different perspective, and be open to hearing their side. Ask yourself what you would do if the situation were reversed. This back-and-forth can help you understand each other's viewpoints and work towards a compromise.

Develop a Solution Together

Once you've both had the opportunity to express your thoughts, work on finding a solution that takes both of your needs into account. Ask your roommate for their ideas on how to resolve the issue. For example, if your roommate often has friends over, but you need quiet time to study, you could suggest designated days for visitors and agree to study elsewhere on certain nights.

Remember that living with a roommate requires good communication, compromise, and respect. While it may take some time and effort, finding a solution that works for both of you can improve your living situation and even strengthen your relationship with your roommate.

Compromise and set up ground rules with a roommate agreement

Living with roommates can be challenging, especially if you don't get along with them. To ensure a harmonious living situation, it's essential to establish a roommate agreement that outlines expectations and sets ground rules. Here are some key points to consider when creating a roommate agreement to help you sleep better, even if you don't like your roommate:

Rent and Bills

Discuss how you'll be splitting rent and utility bills. Decide whether you'll pay the landlord separately or if one person will pay and then be reimbursed by the other. Also, determine how you'll divide the rent—will it be evenly, or based on bedroom size or other considerations? For bills, figure out which shared bills need to be paid each month and how you'll split them. Include a date for when these payments should be made.

Chores and Cleaning

Create a schedule for chores and cleaning to ensure everyone contributes fairly. Discuss what needs to be done, how often, and who will be responsible. For example, taking out the trash, cleaning the fridge, or straightening up shared spaces.

Guests and Significant Others

To avoid surprises and tension, establish rules for guests and overnight visitors. Decide on time limits for guests and whether intimate partners can spend the night. Create a system to notify each other when you need privacy, such as a symbol on the door or a rubber band on the doorknob.

Quiet Hours

Establish quiet hours that respect everyone's sleep schedules and study needs. During these hours, agree to use headphones for watching movies or listening to music, and use personal lights for reading instead of overhead lights.

Conflict Resolution

Finally, include a section in your agreement on how to handle conflicts. Decide on a preferred method of communication, such as texting or having a roommate meeting, and commit to open and respectful discussions when issues arise.

Remember, a roommate agreement is about compromise, and you may not get everything you want. However, by establishing clear ground rules, you can prevent surprises, resolve conflicts effectively, and hopefully get a good night's sleep, even if you don't like your roommate.

Spend more time elsewhere, e.g. in the library or with friends

If you're sharing a room with someone you don't like, one strategy is to spend more time elsewhere, such as in the library or with friends. This approach can help you maintain peace of mind and calmness by removing yourself from the immediate situation. Here are some ways to go about it:

Find a Study Spot

If you're a student, consider making the library your second home. Libraries offer a quiet and peaceful environment conducive to studying and can provide a welcome respite from a challenging living situation. You can also explore other study spots on campus, such as quiet nooks, empty classrooms, or computer labs. By spending more time in these spaces, you can create a productive routine and give yourself a break from your roommate.

Join Study Groups or Clubs

Another way to spend time away from your room is to join study groups or campus clubs. Study groups provide a great opportunity to make new friends and gain academic support. You can also explore clubs and societies that align with your interests, whether it's sports, music, art, or community service. These groups will not only give you a reason to be out of your room but also help you build a support network and enrich your college experience.

Hang Out with Friends

Spending time with friends is another excellent way to get out of your room. Invite friends over to your place or hang out at their place. You can also suggest going out for meals, watching movies, playing sports, or just hanging out at a coffee shop. By doing this, you'll not only reduce the time spent with your roommate but also strengthen your friendships and create fun memories.

Explore Your City

If you're in a new city, take advantage of this opportunity to explore what it has to offer. Discover new neighbourhoods, visit museums and art galleries, or check out local parks and green spaces. You can do this alone or with friends. By getting out and about, you'll gain new experiences and create a sense of adventure, all while giving yourself a break from your roommate situation.

Plan Weekend Getaways

If you have friends or family living in nearby cities or towns, consider planning weekend visits. This will give you something to look forward to and provide a much-needed break from your living situation. Alternatively, you can plan short trips or camping excursions with friends to explore new places and create lasting memories.

Remember, the roommate situation is temporary, and by spending more time elsewhere, you can gain a sense of control and improve your overall well-being.

Frequently asked questions