Co-Sleeping With A 9-Month-Old: Is It Safe?

can 9 months old sleep with parents

Sleep is a highly personal topic, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for parents and their 9-month-old babies. While some parents may choose to have their babies sleep in the same bed as them, others may prefer to establish independent sleep habits. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing until the first birthday or for at least 6 months, as it reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). During this time, babies typically sleep 11 to 16 hours per 24-hour period, with two naps per day. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine that includes soothing activities can help relax your baby and promote better sleep. However, it's important to prioritize your baby's safety by using sleep products approved by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and avoiding hazards like cords, ribbons, or sharp objects within their reach.

Characteristics Values
Number of naps Two per day
Nap times 9:00/9:30 a.m. and 2:00/2:30 p.m.
Sleep duration 11-16 hours per 24-hour period
Nighttime feedings No longer needed
Sleep training Encouraged to fall asleep independently
Sleep position On their back
Sleep surface Approved by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC)
Bed-sharing Not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
Room-sharing Recommended by the AAP until the first birthday or for at least 6 months
Sleep environment Safe, dark, and free of hazards
Separation anxiety Common, leading to "koala babies"
Self-soothing May help with longer stretches of sleep
Sleep regression Possible due to developmental milestones

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Separation anxiety

By 9 months, babies typically transition to taking two naps per day and can sleep through the night without needing night feedings. However, some 9-month-old babies may experience sleep regression, resulting in wakeful nights and challenging behaviour. This may be attributed to a decline in their total 24-hour sleep requirement, the developmental milestone of "object permanence", and separation anxiety.

Signs of separation anxiety include intense crying, increased clinginess, tantrums, and a loss of interest in exploring their environment due to stress. It often peaks between 9 to 18 months and may continue into the toddler years, albeit with reduced intensity. During this phase, babies may resist falling asleep, wake up more frequently, or require extra reassurance during the night. They may also exhibit clingy behaviour, crying when separated from their parents, and refusing to sleep without a parent nearby.

To manage separation anxiety, it is important to acknowledge your baby's needs for security and closeness at this time. While it can be challenging, responding to their needs will help them develop emotional resilience. Here are some strategies to ease separation anxiety:

  • Consistency and connection during the day can help most babies move through this phase with fewer disruptions.
  • Slowly introduce new caregivers and show confidence in both your baby and the caregiver before you leave.
  • Reassure your baby that you will return, and avoid lengthy goodbyes that may heighten their anxiety.
  • Talk about emotions and read books about feelings to help your baby develop emotional awareness and understanding.
  • Maintain a consistent bedtime routine, including soothing activities, to help your baby relax before sleep.
  • If your baby cries, give them a few minutes to settle down. If the crying persists, offer brief reassurance without taking them out of the crib.
  • Gradually increase the time between check-ins, offering loving words from the doorway to provide comfort without disrupting their sleep.

While separation anxiety is a normal part of development, if it persists for an extended period or causes significant distress, it may be advisable to consult a pediatrician to rule out any underlying concerns or the presence of separation anxiety disorder.

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Safe sleep environment

By 9 months, your baby has probably transitioned to taking two naps per day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Babies at this age can sleep through the night and no longer need nighttime feedings. However, if your baby has started to crawl, they may be more interested in practising their new skill than sleeping.

Sleep problems are common in the second half of a baby's first year. Separation anxiety, a normal stage of development, can cause babies to call out or cry in the middle of the night, calming down only when they see their parents. If this happens, give your baby some time to settle down. If needed, offer brief reassurance without taking your baby out of the crib.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing until the first birthday or for at least 6 months, when the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is highest. Room-sharing involves placing your baby's crib or bassinet in your bedroom instead of a separate nursery, allowing you to keep your baby nearby for feeding, comforting, and monitoring. While room-sharing is safe, bed-sharing increases the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related deaths.

To create a safe sleep environment:

  • Always place your baby on their back to sleep, not on their stomach or side.
  • Ensure that all sleep surfaces and products meet federal safety standards and are approved by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC).
  • Avoid using weighted blankets, sleepers, or swaddles around your baby.
  • Keep the crib free of hazards, such as items with cords, ties, or ribbons that can wrap around your baby's neck, and objects with sharp edges or corners.
  • Ensure that hanging mobiles, wall hangings, pictures, draperies, and window blind cords are out of your baby's reach.
  • Do not let your baby fall asleep on products not designed for sleeping, such as car seats, feeding pillows, or infant loungers.
  • Avoid products claiming to reduce the risk of SIDS, such as sleep positioners or monitors.
  • Use sleep sacks to keep your baby warm and as a cue for sleep.
  • Establish a bedtime routine with soothing activities, such as a warm bath, stories, or singing.
  • Offer a pacifier at sleep time, but don't force it.
  • If your baby pulls up to stand, ensure the crib mattress is at its lowest setting.

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Self-soothing

By nine months, babies can sleep through the night and no longer need nighttime feedings. However, this is a peak time for another sleep progression and wakeful nights, as well as more challenging behaviour. This can be a challenging time for parents as their babies become more aware of their surroundings and may need more security and closeness.

  • A consistent routine and a calming environment can help your baby settle more easily. Sleep routines provide consistency and help children know how to respond to different situations.
  • A comfortable and safe environment is key to helping your baby fall asleep and stay asleep. A slightly cool environment is considered better than a warm one.
  • Consistent sleep times can teach the body to expect sleep, and body rhythms can be trained to align with going to sleep at specific times.
  • If your baby is falling asleep while drinking from a bottle or breastfeeding, they are not self-soothing. By moving the bedtime feeding session to an earlier part of the bedtime routine, you can encourage your baby to self-soothe.
  • Pacifiers can help young babies learn to self-soothe, but limit their use to naptime and bedtime, and combine them with other methods like white noise and a consistent routine.
  • If your baby is standing up and reaching for you after you put them down, lay them back down the first few times, saying the same thing each time, such as "it's night-time, I love you". If they continue, let them figure it out themselves, but make sure they know how to get back down on their own.
  • If your baby cries, stay away for a few minutes. They may settle down and go to sleep. If the crying continues, soothe your baby briefly without picking them up. Lengthen the time between these appearances until they fall asleep.

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Daytime sleep

The amount of daytime sleep a 9-month-old needs can vary, with some babies requiring 3-4 hours of daytime sleep, and others being well-rested with just 2 hours. If your baby is sleeping more than 3.5 hours during the day, it is recommended to cap their daytime sleep to avoid overtiredness.

The timing of these naps is also important. Most 9-month-olds have a wake window of about 3 to 3.5 hours before needing to sleep again. The period of wakefulness before the first nap is usually the shortest, with the longest period of wakefulness before bedtime. Therefore, it is recommended to have around 3.5 hours of awake time before putting your baby to bed for the night.

To help your 9-month-old develop healthy sleep habits, it is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine. This can include soothing activities such as a warm bath, reading books, or singing songs. It is also beneficial to put your baby to bed awake, encouraging them to fall asleep independently.

While co-sleeping or bed-sharing with your 9-month-old may provide some benefits, such as longer overall sleep and the presence of an adult to regulate the baby's breathing, it is generally recommended that babies sleep in the same room as the parents for the first year, but in their own crib or play yard. This reduces the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and creates a safer sleeping environment by avoiding hazards like pillows, crib bumpers, and loose bedding.

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Sleep regression

At 9 months old, babies typically transition to taking two naps per day, usually one in the morning and one in the afternoon. While they can sleep through the night, some may still experience sleep regression. This could be due to several factors, such as the excitement of learning new skills like crawling or standing, or the emergence of separation anxiety as they develop "object permanence," understanding that objects continue to exist even when out of sight.

  • Maintain a consistent bedtime routine: Keep the same general bedtime routine, ensuring that feeding occurs before the routine or at the beginning. Consistency helps your baby anticipate sleep and can make it easier for them to settle.
  • Encourage self-soothing: While it's not a goal for every family, teaching your baby to self-soothe can be beneficial. If they wake up during the night, give them a few minutes to settle down and soothe themselves back to sleep.
  • Extend the last "awake window" before bed: If your baby's bedtime is too early, they may not show signs of fatigue and might fight sleep. Try gradually moving their bedtime 15 minutes later over several nights until you find the ideal time when they display signs of tiredness.
  • Use white noise: Low, rumbly white noise can help mask external disturbances like traffic noise or a neighbour's loud music, as well as internal discomforts like teething pain, allowing your baby to sleep more soundly.
  • Address any external factors: Ensure your baby's sleep environment is comfortable and free from distractions. Look for potential disruptions like itchy pyjamas, bright lights, or noisy surroundings, and make the necessary adjustments.
  • Respond to their needs: At 9 months, babies often experience separation anxiety and a heightened need for security and closeness. Responding to their needs and providing reassurance can help them feel secure and ease their transition through this phase.

Remember that sleep regression is a normal part of your baby's development, and it will likely pass within a few weeks. Be patient, consistent, and responsive to your baby's needs during this time.

Frequently asked questions

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing until the first birthday or for at least 6 months, when the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is highest. You can create a safe sleep environment by ensuring that all sleep surfaces and products are approved by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and meet federal safety standards.

Babies around 6 months old sleep, on average, 11 to 15 hours per 24-hour period. By 9 months, your baby may have transitioned to taking two naps per day. Most babies this age should sleep 12-16 hours per day, including a stretch of 9-12 hours at night.

You can help your baby fall asleep independently by keeping a consistent bedtime routine. Feeding should be the first step of the routine, and you should work towards helping your baby fall asleep on their own. If your baby wakes up and cries, give them some time to settle down. If needed, provide brief reassurance without taking them out of the crib.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development that can make sleep challenging for 9-month-olds. They may not be satisfied by simply seeing or touching their parents and may need the security of being close to them. Additionally, the development of object permanence can interfere with sleep, as babies now understand that their parents are nearby even when they can't be seen.

To transition your baby to their own bed, start by talking to them about the importance of sleep and how everyone will sleep better in their beds. Get them excited about having their own "big kid" room and make sure they have a safe place to sleep without blankets, bumpers, or stuffed toys. Be consistent and don't let them sleep in your room during the transition and for at least three months afterward.

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