Miya Pearson
Many toddlers go through a phase of not wanting to sleep alone, and there could be several reasons for this. Toddlers face a lot of changes, such as new siblings, starting preschool, or dropping naps, and these transitions can cause sleep issues. They may also be anxious, insecure, or distracted, causing them to seek bedtime company. Screen time before bed can also make it harder for toddlers to fall asleep, as it reduces the production of melatonin, the sleepy hormone. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help, as can gradually phasing out a parent's presence at bedtime.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age | 1 year old |
| Sleep time | 11 to 14 hours of sleep each day |
| Sleep issues | May be associated with attentional, behavioral, and emotional problems |
| Sleep habits | May be affected by parents |
| Sleep environment | Remove electronic devices from the room |
| Sleep schedule | Adjustments to sleep schedule may help |
| Sleep training | Developmentally-appropriate strategies may be needed |
| Sleep regression | May be a factor |
| Sleep hygiene | Consistent bedtime routine |
| Sleep space | Make the sleep space appealing |
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What You'll Learn
Toddlers may be anxious or insecure, so they want bedtime company
It is common for toddlers to struggle with sleeping alone. They may be anxious or insecure and want bedtime company, especially if they have been more clingy or irritable than usual. Toddlers go through many transitions, such as new siblings, starting preschool, or dropping naps, which can cause sleep issues. They may also be afraid of the dark or have an overactive imagination that impacts their sleep.
To help your toddler feel more secure at bedtime, establish a consistent and calming bedtime routine. A warm bath, followed by putting on pyjamas, brushing teeth, and reading bedtime stories can help your child wind down and feel loved. You can also try gradually phasing out your presence at bedtime. For a few days, sleep in their room, but make your presence boring and unengaging. Then, move to sitting outside their door during bedtime and middle-of-the-night wakings. Eventually, remove yourself from the room entirely, but be consistent in returning your child to their bed if they get up. Over time, gradually shorten the amount of time you are in the room. You can also provide comforting objects, such as stuffed animals or blankets, to reassure your child.
It is important to be consistent when trying to change your child's sleeping habits. However, if your child is really upset or continues to struggle, consult your doctor. They can help you understand if there are any underlying issues and work with you to improve your child's sleep.
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Screen time before bed can make sleep harder
There are many reasons why a 1-year-old might not want to sleep alone. Firstly, it's important to note that toddlers are going through a lot of transitions, such as new siblings, new skills, and dropping naps. They may also be experiencing changes such as moving from a crib to a big kid's bed, potty training, or starting preschool. These disruptions can impact a toddler's sleep habits and make them more clingy and dependent on their parents.
Another factor that can contribute to sleep issues is screen time before bed. Here's why screen time before bed can make sleep harder for your 1-year-old:
The Impact of Blue Light
The blue light emitted by screens interferes with the body's circadian rhythms and disrupts the production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleepiness. This disruption can make it harder for your child to fall asleep and affect the quality of their sleep. Even dim light exposure can significantly suppress melatonin levels.
Overstimulation
The fast-paced and vivid imagery, bright lights, and loud noises on screens can overstimulate young minds. This overstimulation makes it challenging for toddlers to calm down and relax before sleep. Even content that parents consider calm or harmless can still be overstimulating for children.
Sleep Deprivation and Behaviour Issues
Excessive screen time can lead to sleep deprivation in toddlers. A study found that toddlers who logged more daily screen time took longer to fall asleep and tended to go to bed later. Sleep deprivation can then contribute to behaviour issues such as tantrums, difficulty paying attention, and impulsivity.
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
Allowing screen time before bed can make it harder to establish healthy boundaries and consistent bedtime routines. Removing screens from the bedtime routine and limiting screen time throughout the day can lead to faster and smoother bedtime experiences. It's recommended to power down screens one hour before bedtime and keep devices out of the bedroom.
Alternative Bedtime Routines
Instead of screen time before bed, try incorporating calming and nurturing activities into your toddler's bedtime routine. This could include activities such as reading stories, taking a bath, or listening to screen-free music or audio stories. These activities can help your child wind down and feel loved and secure before falling asleep.
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A consistent bedtime routine can help
A consistent bedtime routine can work wonders for a 1-year-old who won't sleep alone. Toddlers go through many transitions, from new siblings and skills to dropping naps. Developing a consistent bedtime routine can help them navigate these changes and improve their sleep.
Firstly, it's important to establish a positive sleep environment. This includes removing electronic devices from your toddler's room, as the stimulation from screens can make it harder for them to fall asleep. Instead, opt for a dim light, such as a night light, to create a soothing atmosphere.
Next, aim for predictability in your bedtime routine. A predictable routine "prepares kids psychologically and reduces their nighttime anxiety," according to Dr. Owens. It lowers stress levels and gives your toddler a sense of anticipation about the steps leading up to bedtime. For example, you can start with a warm bath, followed by putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, and reading bedtime stories.
Involve your toddler in the process and provide positive reinforcement. When transitioning to a new bed, tell them about it and let them help set it up. Praise them for being a "big kid" and make the experience exciting and positive.
Consistency is key. Be consistent with the bedtime routine and the sleep environment. If your toddler calls out, use their name and ask them to stay in bed. Return them to their bed calmly and gently, without making eye contact or engaging in conversation. You may need to do this repeatedly, so patience is crucial.
Remember, every family is different, and you should choose a strategy that suits your toddler and your family's needs. With time and consistency, your 1-year-old will likely become more comfortable sleeping alone.
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Toddlers may be too energised or exhausted to sleep
Toddlers are naturally curious and energetic, and they may resist bedtime because they want to keep playing, exploring, and learning. They may also be anxious about being alone in the dark and fear monsters under the bed. However, it's important to remember that toddlers need a lot of sleep, and if they don't get enough, they can become overtired, which can make it difficult for them to fall asleep.
If your toddler is having difficulty sleeping alone, it's important to establish a consistent bedtime routine. This means having a set bedtime, even on weekends, and creating a calming and nurturing pre-sleep ritual. For example, you can give your toddler a bath, read them a story, and then tuck them into bed. Lowering the lighting during this time can also help to reduce stimulation and signal to your toddler's body that it's time to wind down.
It's also important to ensure your toddler is getting enough physical activity during the day. Toddlers should have at least three hours of running and playing each day, as this has been shown to improve their sleep quality at night. Getting them outside early in the day for some fresh air and natural light can also help regulate their sleep hormone, melatonin.
If your toddler is napping during the day, you may need to adjust their nap schedule. Toddlers between 1 and 2 years old need 11 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. If your toddler is getting enough sleep during their nap, they may not feel tired at bedtime. However, it's important not to drop naps too soon, as this can lead to overtiredness at bedtime. Instead, gradually shorten their afternoon nap by 15 minutes at a time until you find a balance that works for their sleep needs.
Finally, it's normal for toddlers to want to sleep with their parents, as they feel secure and loved. If you're trying to change this habit, it's important to be consistent. You can gradually ease yourself out of their room after lights-out, moving closer to the door each night. If your toddler gets out of bed, bring them back, but avoid giving in to the temptation to let them stay in your room.
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They may be afraid of the dark or have other fears
A child's fear of sleeping alone can stem from a fear of the dark or other bedtime fears, such as monsters under the bed. This often arises when a child's imagination develops rapidly, usually between the ages of two and three, and they struggle to distinguish fantasy from reality. As a result, they may imagine scary things that could happen at night, such as monsters or dragons from bedtime stories appearing out of the shadows.
Additionally, children may develop bedtime fears due to external factors. For older children, this could be related to starting puberty or an event at school, such as an active shooter drill. Younger children are also aware of and vulnerable to stressors such as divorce, death in the family, or a parent's job loss. Moving to a new house, changing caregivers or teachers, or experiencing violence or a natural disaster can also trigger bedtime fears.
To help your child cope with their fear of the dark, it is important to acknowledge their feelings without reinforcing their fears. Avoid statements like "There's nothing to be scared of," as this can invalidate their feelings. Instead, try to get to the root of the problem by asking open-ended questions. Engage in activities that create positive associations with the dark, such as playing with flashlights, kicking a glow-in-the-dark ball, or building forts in darker areas of the house. You can also use night lights or leave the hallway light on with the bedroom door open.
If your child is afraid of monsters or other imaginary creatures, look under the bed and in the closet together to show them that their room is safe. Reading children's books about characters who are afraid can also help them explore their fears and start a discussion. It is important to be consistent in how you handle your child's bedtime fears and maintain a peaceful evening routine.
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Frequently asked questions
There could be several reasons for this. Toddlers are going through many transitions, such as new siblings, starting preschool, or dropping naps, which can cause sleep issues. They may also not be tired at bedtime due to a lack of physical activity or too much screen time. Additionally, toddlers are natural boundary pushers, and their desire for independence and control can sometimes impact their sleep.
Toddlers between the ages of one and two years old typically need 11 to 14 hours of sleep each day. However, the amount of sleep your child needs may vary depending on individual factors such as illness or other off days.
Here are some suggestions to help your toddler sleep independently:
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine to help your child wind down and feel secure.
- Limit screen time before bed as it can interfere with melatonin production and make it harder for your toddler to fall asleep.
- Create a calming sleep environment by removing electronic devices and using dim lights or night lights.
- Gradually phase out your presence at bedtime by sitting outside the room or moving closer to the door each night.
- Provide comforting objects such as stuffed animals or blankets to ease their fears and help them feel reassured.
If your child is consistently getting far less sleep than recommended or displaying sleep issues that impact their behaviour during the day, consider consulting a paediatrician or a certified sleep consultant for guidance.
