Kids And Sleep: Why Won't They Rest?

Sleep is essential for a child's development, but getting them to sleep can be a challenge. Children need more sleep than adults—the amount varies depending on their age—but many don't get enough. Insufficient sleep in children can be hard to identify as they may not be able to communicate when they are sleepy, or even recognise sleep deprivation in themselves. Children often rely on their parents to guide them, but there are several factors that can disrupt their sleep. These include fear of the dark, nightmares, separation anxiety, lack of a bedtime routine, and overstimulation from screens or exercise. Understanding sleep needs and establishing healthy sleep habits can help children get the rest they need to grow and thrive.

Fear of the dark

It's common for children to experience a fear of the dark, which can impact their sleep. This fear often arises from a child's active imagination, which may lead them to believe that darkness conceals monsters or other scary creatures. Older children might worry about intruders or be afraid of being alone.

To help your child overcome their fear of the dark, start by validating their feelings and offering reassurance. Explain that it's normal to feel scared sometimes, but also provide them with tools to manage their fear. For younger children, a night light or a flashlight they can keep by their bed can help reduce their anxiety. You can also encourage them to face their fears gradually, such as by playing games or reading books about monsters during the day, which could help them feel more in control of their fears.

For older children, encourage them to express their fears and work together to come up with solutions. For example, you could suggest leaving the hallway light on or keeping their bedroom door open at night. Teach them calming techniques, such as deep breathing or visualization exercises, which can help them relax and feel more secure.

Remember to be consistent in your approach and patient with your child. Over time, most children will outgrow their fear of the dark as they develop emotionally and gain a better understanding of their environment. However, if their fear persists or interferes significantly with their daily life, consider seeking professional advice from a child psychologist or therapist.

Separation anxiety

Signs of Separation Anxiety

• Refusal to sleep alone or only sleeping when they know you are nearby
• Waking frequently at night and crying for you
• Crying and tantrums when you leave the room or go to work
• Clinging to you, especially in new situations or around others
• Longer, more frequent naps at inopportune times due to lack of proper sleep

There are many factors that can contribute to separation anxiety, including:

• Starting at a daycare or preschool
• Arrival of a sibling
• Loss of a parent or caregiver
• Moving to a new home
• Feeling unwell from things like teething, a cold, or an ear infection
• Caregivers who are stressed, tired, frustrated, or emotional

How to Deal with Separation Anxiety

• Keep a consistent, predictable schedule to minimize your child's anxiety
• Offer comfort when they cry in the middle of the night, but keep it minimal
• Offer blankies, stuffed animals, or a night light
• Demonstrate breathing and visualization techniques to model coping skills for your toddler
• Maintain a regular, positive bedtime routine
• Watch your stress levels—lack of sleep and dealing with bedtime tantrums can stretch a parent
• Don't sneak away after your child falls asleep
• Comfort your child if they need it, but don't drag it out
• Practice being separated even when you are together
• Acknowledge their feelings and teach them it's ok to feel how they feel
• Soothe them with a snuggly blanket or lovey
• Teach them coping and calming techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization
• Don't give up—separation anxiety usually only lasts for a period of 2-3 weeks

No bedtime routine

A bedtime routine is a consistent, repetitive set of activities that are carried out before bed every night. Research shows that children who follow bedtime routines are more likely to go to sleep earlier, take less time falling asleep, sleep longer, and wake up less during the night. These benefits to sleep quality are still seen years later in children who followed bedtime routines when they were younger.

How to Build a Bedtime Routine for Kids

A bedtime routine for kids usually consists of three or four activities, for example, having a snack, brushing teeth, putting on pyjamas, and reading a book. These should always be done in the same order. To make the routine even more effective, start winding down the household by dimming the lights and turning off screens in the lead-up to bed.

Typical bedtime activities that have been shown to have beneficial effects on sleep include:

• A nutritious snack or bottle/breastfeeding
• A bath or diaper change
• Brushing teeth and going to the bathroom
• Singing a lullaby or song together
• Massage, cuddling, and rocking
• Talking about their day

The bedtime routine should culminate in a goodnight kiss and lights out. You should leave the room while your child is sleepy but not asleep yet. This way, they learn to fall asleep on their own, and they won’t panic if they wake up in the middle of the night and find you gone.

Tips for an Effective Bedtime Routine

• Do it every day: A nighttime routine for kids should consist of the same steps every night, or as many nights as possible.
• Keep it short and sweet: For most children, a bedtime routine should last around half an hour, or a little longer if there’s a bath included.
• Keep it up during the day: Following a routine during the day, including setting clear limits, leads to increased sleep duration for young children.
• Listen to your child: Although you’re ultimately in charge, it’s not a bad thing to leave your child some liberty. If a part of the bedtime routine isn’t working for your child, listen to their concerns and adapt the routine if necessary.
• Follow sleep hygiene rules: Keep the bedroom dark, cool, and quiet to promote sleep. If your child is scared of the dark, you can use a dim nightlight.
• Make gradual changes: Try not to introduce more than one change at a time to the bedtime routine, and consider delaying these if there are other changes going on, such as moving to a new house or starting school.
• Start when they’re already sleepy: Overtired children can be hyperactive or grumpy and will find it even harder to fall asleep, so try to start the routine before they start yawning.
• Don't let them run around: Your child should have plenty of opportunities to burn off steam during the day, but don't let them work themselves into a frenzy at night or they’ll be too wired to sleep.
• No sugary treats or caffeine: Try to keep evening snacks light and healthy. Caffeine will keep kids awake, and sugary treats before bed can lead to cavities.
• No scary bedtime stories: Avoid scary stories and other mentally or physically stimulating activities before bed.
• No sleeping in on weekends: It’s tempting to catch up on sleep on non-school days, but straying more than an hour from the usual wake-up time can actually cause trouble falling asleep on weekdays.

Insufficient sleep

Sleep is vital for a child's health, development, and well-being. It helps them stay healthy, grow, learn, and do well in school. It is as important as nutrition and exercise for a growing body. However, insufficient sleep is a common issue faced by children and adolescents. In fact, a quarter of children under the age of five don't get adequate sleep. This can have a significant impact on their behaviour, mental health, and emotions.

The amount of sleep required varies with age. Here is a general guide:

• 0-11 months - 14-18 hours per day
• 1-2 years - 10-14 hours per day
• 3-5 years - 10-13 hours per day
• 6-13 years - 9-11 hours per day
• 14-18 years - 8-9 hours per day

The impact of insufficient sleep on children can manifest in various behavioural, cognitive, and emotional symptoms. They may experience sleepiness during the day, issues with studying and socialising, irritability and moodiness, a shorter attention span, lack of concentration and focus, increased forgetfulness, and reduced academic performance. Insufficient sleep can also lead to a decline in their mental health, increased impulsivity, and a higher risk of accidents.

Additionally, lack of sleep can affect a child's physical health. It has been linked to an increased risk of obesity, heart problems, and diabetes. It can also weaken their immune system, making them more susceptible to illnesses.

To support healthy sleep habits in children, it is essential to encourage them to exercise or spend time outdoors during the day. Turning off electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bed and creating a calming bedtime routine can also be beneficial. Maintaining a regular bedtime and wake-up schedule is crucial, and the bedroom environment should be dark, cool, quiet, and screen-free.

Parasomnias

• Sitting up in bed and appearing confused
• Sleepwalking
• Sleep terrors
• Nightmares
• Bedwetting
• Sleep eating
• Sleep talking
• Sleep enuresis (bed-wetting)
• REM sleep behaviour disorder

Most parasomnias occur during non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep, which includes deep sleep and tends to happen at the beginning of the night. However, some parasomnias occur during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which is when the eyes move around quickly and the body is usually unable to move. This type of sleep tends to happen closer to the morning.

• Genetic predisposition: A child is more likely to experience parasomnias if their parents also had them as children.
• Lack of sleep: Not getting enough sleep the night before can prime a child for parasomnias.
• Other sleep disorders: Sleep apnea, periodic limb movement disorder, and sleep-related movement disorders can trigger parasomnias.
• Environmental factors: Triggers such as touch or loud sounds may also contribute.

While parasomnias are typically harmless and tend to disappear as a child gets older, they can be a severe problem for some. If a sleep problem significantly disturbs a child, parents should consult a sleep specialist for advice and potential treatment options.

Frequently asked questions