Sleep-Crying In Children: Why It Happens And How To Help

why does my 5 year old cry in her sleep

It can be distressing to see your child cry in their sleep, but it is a common occurrence and usually nothing to worry about. There are many reasons why your five-year-old might be crying in their sleep, ranging from nightmares and night terrors to teething pain, illness, or even just transitioning between sleep cycles. Night terrors, in particular, are relatively rare and usually occur in children aged between 4 and 12 years old. They are characterised by crying, screaming, shouting, or wailing, but the child is not fully awake and will likely not remember the episode. Other potential causes of sleep disturbances in children include separation anxiety, emotional distress, and changes in routine or their environment. If you are concerned about your child's sleep patterns or persistent crying, it is always best to consult a healthcare professional for advice and guidance.

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Night terrors or nightmares

Night terrors and nightmares are two different things. Night terrors are when children become very agitated during the deeper phases of sleep. They may look awake, but they are not. Their eyes may be open, they may be crying, talking, or yelling, but they will not be forming full sentences or even words. They will not respond to someone trying to comfort them. Night terrors usually happen during the first few hours of sleep, when a child is sleeping very deeply. They can be alarming to witness, but they are not harmful and children almost always outgrow them by the time they reach puberty. If your child is having night terrors along with breathing problems, it is recommended to talk to a doctor.

Nightmares, on the other hand, occur during light sleep, or REM sleep. When a child wakes up from a nightmare, they are usually scared and may be crying. They may want to be comforted and reassured that the nightmare was not real. They may also want to talk about the bad dream. Nightmares tend to happen in the second half of the night, when the child is sleeping lightly and dreaming.

If your child is waking up crying at night, it is recommended to stick to a consistent sleep routine and offer comfort without overstimulating them. This can help your child get back to more restful sleep.

If you are concerned about your child's sleep patterns, it is always best to speak to a doctor or healthcare provider.

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Hunger or feeding difficulties

Hunger is one of the most common reasons why babies and toddlers wake up crying. Newborns, in particular, have small stomachs, so they need to be fed frequently—sometimes as often as every hour or two. This means they'll also be hungry much more frequently than older babies and toddlers.

Babies aged 3–7 months may develop a regular sleep schedule. Between 3 and 7 months, some babies begin sleeping longer stretches or sleeping through the night. However, some babies experience a sleep regression around 4 months that changes their sleep pattern. Many babies develop a sleep schedule of two daily naps and a longer period of sleep at night after this period. Establishing a daily routine and a nighttime sleep routine can help. Most babies will sleep through the night by the time they are 9 months old. At around a year old, some babies drop down to just one nap per day, while others may need two naps per day well into their second year of life. Toddlers need 12–14 hours of sleep per day, divided between their nap and nighttime sleep.

Breastfeeding overnight is biologically normal up to 18 months and sometimes beyond. If your little one is nursing at night, and this works for both of you, it is not a sleep problem. Many toddlers do drop their feeds by 12 to 18 months. However, if your baby is not getting enough breast milk, this can interfere with their sleep.

If your baby is crying in their sleep, and you know they're not hungry or need a diaper change, there may be other solutions before becoming too concerned. Ensuring the room temperature isn't too hot or cold can help your baby sleep more comfortably. Experts recommend a sleep temperature between 68°F and 72°F (20°C and 22°C) and caution against dressing young babies in heavy layers.

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Separation anxiety

When separation anxiety impacts sleep, it may manifest as:

  • Crying when you enter the room or as you leave.
  • Increased fussiness and only settling down for sleep if held.
  • Crying at nap/bedtime when being laid down or when waking up in the middle of the night (when this wasn't an issue before).
  • Difficulty falling asleep or taking short naps.
  • Protesting at bedtime or fighting sleep.
  • Spending time in your child's room during their waking hours. Engage in fun activities and create positive associations with the room to increase their comfort when you're not around.
  • Maintaining a consistent sleep routine. A familiar routine provides security and helps children adjust to your absence.
  • Practising goodbyes at home and creating a short bedtime ritual.
  • Staying calm and keeping your promises.
  • Having intentional one-on-one time with your child, even if it's brief. This extra connection time can help your child adjust to transitions and changes.

It's important to remember that separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood development, and most children will grow out of it with time and patience.

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Illness or discomfort

If your child is unwell, you may notice additional symptoms such as mood changes, changes in appetite, fever, fussiness, lethargy, vomiting, diarrhoea, or symptoms of an ear infection. In such cases, it is essential to seek medical advice or call your pediatrician. Mild illnesses can often be managed at home with over-the-counter medication to alleviate symptoms.

Teething pain can also cause sleep disruptions and crying in children up to the age of five. The pain and discomfort from teething can wake them at night, and you may observe them putting their hands or objects in their mouth with swollen and red gums.

Another common cause of sleep disturbances in children is night terrors or nightmares. Night terrors are different from nightmares. During a night terror, a child may scream, cry, or talk, but they are not fully awake. Their fight-or-flight response is activated, and they may appear frightened, be difficult to console, and move erratically. Night terrors occur during deep sleep, while nightmares occur during light sleep or REM sleep. Although night terrors can be upsetting for parents, they are usually harmless and relatively rare. Most children outgrow them before their teenage years.

If your 5-year-old is experiencing sleep problems that last for several nights and interfere with their ability to function during the day, it is recommended to consult a doctor or a pediatric sleep specialist. They can provide guidance on sleep strategies and help identify any underlying issues contributing to your child's sleep disturbances.

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Teething

Between the ages of 6 and 7 years, children will start to lose their deciduous teeth as their permanent teeth come in. Girls generally lose teeth earlier than boys, and it is normal for a child to lose their first tooth up to 2 years earlier or later than 6 years of age. Losing baby teeth can be unsettling and uncomfortable, and it is important to reassure your child that this is a natural process.

If your 5-year-old is teething, you can expect similar symptoms to those experienced during earlier stages of teething, such as pain, drooling, and fussiness. You may also notice changes in their sleep and eating patterns. The pain and discomfort from teething may be waking your child at night, causing them to cry in their sleep. To help relieve the pain, you can use cold packs or over-the-counter anti-inflammatory or pain-relieving medication.

Frequently asked questions

Occasional crying during sleep is usually nothing to worry about and is a normal phase of development. However, there are several reasons why your 5-year-old might be crying in their sleep, including:

- Hunger or thirst

- Illness

- Teething pain

- Emotional distress or separation anxiety

- Night terrors or nightmares

Night terrors are relatively rare and usually occur in children aged between 4 and 12 years old. They happen when a child becomes agitated during deep sleep, often early in the night. During a night terror, a child may scream, cry, talk, shout, stare blankly, or move erratically, but they are not fully awake.

Here are some tips to help your child sleep better:

- Establish a consistent sleep routine and offer comfort without overstimulating them.

- Ensure the room is not too hot or too cold.

- If your child is thirsty at night, provide them with a water bottle.

- If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, provide them with a lovey or stuffed animal to sleep with.

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