Battling Sleep: Strategies For Your 21-Month-Old's Restlessness

why does my 21 month old not sleep

Sleep regression is a common phenomenon among toddlers, and it can be a challenging phase for parents. While every child is unique, sleep disturbances in toddlers around 21 months old can be attributed to various factors, including developmental milestones, emerging independence, teething pain, and changes in family dynamics. It's important to remember that this phase is typically temporary, and there are strategies to improve sleep habits, such as maintaining consistent routines and addressing any underlying discomfort or fears.

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Sleep regression

While there is no official sleep regression at 21 months, some toddlers may experience an 18-month sleep regression a little later. Sleep regression at this age can be caused by a variety of factors, such as teething, getting too much sleep during the day, or experiencing separation anxiety.

Toddlers at this age are going through significant developmental changes, and their newfound sense of independence can interfere with sleep. They may start to test boundaries and push limits, which is a normal part of their growth. It is important to maintain a consistent bedtime routine and stick to age-appropriate sleep schedules during this time.

There are also several strategies that can help with sleep regression. These include playing in your child's bedroom to create positive associations, appointing a stuffed animal as a "watch pet," and gradually transitioning to independent sleep using techniques like fading.

Additionally, it is important to remember that every child is unique, and not all toddlers experience sleep regression. However, for those who do, these challenges are typically temporary, and with patience and consistency, most toddlers will soon return to sleeping through the night.

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Teething

To help your teething toddler sleep better, you can try the following:

  • Maintain a consistent bedtime routine.
  • Provide cuddles and soothing words, but encourage your toddler to stay in their bed and try to fall back asleep.
  • Ensure the room temperature is neither too hot nor too cold for optimal sleep. The ideal range is between 16°C and 20°C.
  • Avoid screens that emit blue light, such as TVs or phones, at least an hour before bedtime to promote melatonin production.
  • Give your toddler a massage before bed to aid in calming and bonding, which can help settle discomfort.
  • Offer raw fruits and vegetables or solid finger foods to chew on at the last feeding of the evening to provide relief before bed. Always supervise your toddler while they eat to prevent choking.
  • Wipe away drool regularly with a soft cloth to prevent a rash from developing and adding to your toddler's discomfort.
  • Provide safe teething toys or rings, preferably solid plastic rather than gel-filled, and store them in the fridge or freezer to soothe sore gums.
  • Use over-the-counter pain relievers specifically formulated for infants, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen (after 6 months of age), to manage pain and help your toddler sleep. Consult your pediatrician for the proper dosage.

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Developmental progression

Sleep regression is a common phenomenon among toddlers, and it is characterised by a sudden change in sleep patterns, including resistance at bedtime, fighting naps, increased night waking, and waking up too early. While it is typically associated with the age of two, sleep regression can occur at any time between 18 months and 2 years of age, and it may last for a few weeks.

At 21 months, your toddler is going through significant developmental changes and milestones, which may be impacting their sleep. They are learning new physical skills, such as climbing and jumping, and their cognitive abilities are rapidly progressing. They are also developing socially and emotionally, which can lead to feelings of separation anxiety and a desire for independence. This newfound independence may result in bedtime becoming a power struggle, with toddlers refusing to go to bed or demanding more books or attention.

Additionally, at this age, toddlers may start climbing out of their cribs, which can be dangerous and disrupt sleep further. It might be time to transition your toddler to a toddler-sized bed or a mattress on the floor. However, such transitions should be gradual, and it is important to maintain consistency and boundaries during this period.

Sleep regression is a normal part of your toddler's development, and it is important to remember that it is temporary. While it can be challenging, remaining patient and providing a safe and comfortable sleep environment will help your toddler navigate this phase.

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Inconsistent sleep schedule

To address inconsistent sleep schedules, it is crucial to prioritize consistency and routine. Maintaining a predictable bedtime routine helps your toddler know what to expect and feel secure. This routine can include activities such as reading (avoiding scary or violent content) or playing in their bedroom to create positive associations with the space.

Additionally, pay attention to their wake windows and sleepy cues. A 21-month-old can typically stay awake for 4-5 hours between sleeps, and sleepy cues like yawning will indicate their tiredness. By aligning their schedule with these cues, you can optimize their rest and establish a sustainable sleep rhythm.

If your toddler is taking longer than 10-20 minutes to fall asleep, consider adjusting their awake period before bed. You can slightly extend their last wake window if they take too long to wind down or shorten it if they seem overtired or struggle to settle.

It's also important to remember that every child is unique, and their sleep needs may vary. While a 21-month-old typically needs about 11-12 hours of sleep each night, some may require more or less. Monitor their mood and energy levels to gauge if they're getting sufficient rest.

Lastly, if you haven't already, consider sleep training your toddler. Sleep training can help create an age-appropriate sleep schedule and enhance their self-soothing abilities, enabling them to fall back asleep independently if they wake up between sleep cycles.

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Separation anxiety

The signs of separation anxiety can vary depending on the age of the baby. For example, an 8-month-old baby with separation anxiety may be fussier than usual and only settle down for sleep if held. A 12-month-old baby may cry at nap/bedtime when being laid down or as the caregiver leaves the room. A 2-year-old baby may wake up in the middle of the night, which wasn't an issue before.

There are several ways to help a child cope with separation anxiety and improve their sleep:

  • Nurture your bond and lovingly promote independence.
  • Practice leaving the room and coming back, reassuring the child that you will always return. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek can help with this.
  • Follow a consistent bedtime routine, including rituals like bath time, storytime, and putting on pajamas.
  • Provide a comfort object, such as a lovey or transitional object, to provide a sense of security. However, do not introduce new habits, such as holding your baby as they fall asleep.
  • Spend intentional 1-on-1 time with your child, even if it's only for a few minutes. This extra attention can help them adjust to big transitions or changes.

Frequently asked questions

It is common for toddlers to experience sleep regression between 18 months and 2 years of age. This could be due to a number of reasons, including:

- Teething, which may be uncomfortable or painful.

- A desire for independence, which can cause bedtime issues.

- Developmental progression, as their brains are going through huge changes.

- Separation anxiety, which can make it difficult for them to fall asleep without a parent present.

Here are some strategies that might help:

- Ensure that your toddler is getting enough sleep during the day. Being overtired can make it difficult for them to calm down and fall asleep at night.

- Establish a consistent bedtime routine and stick to it.

- Make sure your toddler's room is a safe and comfortable space. Play with them in their bedroom so they associate it with positive experiences.

- If your toddler is climbing out of their crib, consider lowering the crib mattress or transitioning them to a toddler-sized bed.

Toddler sleep regression usually lasts for a few weeks, but it can vary for each child. It is important to remember that sleep regressions are a normal part of child development and most toddlers will start sleeping through the night again soon.

If your toddler's sleep habits are concerning or persist for an extended period, it is recommended to consult with a healthcare professional for personalised advice and guidance.

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