Gina Johnson
If your 20-month-old toddler is resisting sleep, you're not alone. Many toddlers experience challenging sleep patterns, often influenced by factors like separation anxiety, newfound independence, teething, or needing help falling asleep. It's important to establish a bedtime routine and stick to it, as toddlers thrive on consistency. You can try offering choices during the bedtime routine to make them feel involved, such as choosing between red or blue pyjamas. Make sure they're getting the recommended amount of sleep for their age, which is about 13 hours per day, including a nap in the middle of the day. If they're napping too much during the day, they might not be tired at bedtime. You can gradually adjust their nap schedule to ensure they're tired enough at night. It's also a good idea to create a soothing environment before bedtime, such as reading a book or playing soft music.
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Separation anxiety
To help with separation anxiety, it is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine. A bedtime routine can help toddlers prepare for separation and feel more secure. It is also helpful to introduce a comfort object, such as a soft toy or blanket, that can provide a sense of security during stressful transitions. These objects should be introduced outside of the crib before the child turns one and can be brought into the crib at nap and bedtime once the child is 12 months or older.
Additionally, it is important to provide extra time in the morning for toddlers to get ready for school or daycare, so they don't feel rushed, which can make separation more difficult. It is also crucial to manage your own emotions and follow through with well-planned strategies.
In terms of addressing sleep issues, it is important to establish a soothing bedtime and naptime routine and stick to it as much as possible. This can include reading a book, putting on soft music, or giving your toddler a relaxing bath. It is also important to avoid high-stimulation activities before bed and to create a soothing environment for your toddler. If your toddler is napping during the day, you can gradually shorten the afternoon nap by 15 minutes at a time to help them be more tired at night.
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Fear of the dark
It is common for toddlers to be afraid of the dark, especially when their imagination starts to develop rapidly between the ages of two and three. At this age, toddlers are more engaged in the world of pretend and imagination, and they don't fully grasp the difference between fantasy and reality. As a result, they may become anxious about a whole array of things, especially at night when it is easy for their imagination to run wild.
If your 20-month-old toddler is afraid of the dark, there are several strategies you can use to help them feel more secure:
- Use a night light or dimmer: A night light can make your toddler's room seem less scary. Red lights, in particular, are shown to be less disruptive to sleep. You can also leave the hallway light on with their bedroom door open.
- Reassure them of their safety: Instead of using "monster spray", show your toddler that they are already safe. Look at the shadows together and show them that there is nothing to be afraid of. Check the closet and look under the bed together to reassure them that their room is safe.
- Read stories about characters who are afraid: Reading stories about characters who are afraid and discussing how they overcome their fears can help your toddler feel less alone in facing their fears.
- Limit screen time: Scary images in books and on screens can contribute to a fear of the dark. Limit screen time, especially within an hour before nap or bedtime, and be mindful of what shows, podcasts, and music are playing in the background.
- Be sensitive and patient: Recognize that your toddler's fear is very real to them, so ignoring it or teasing them about it will only make it worse. Let your child talk about their fears without denying their feelings. Reassure them that you will be close by if they need you, but don't bring them into your bed in the middle of the night as this sends the message that they are not safe alone in their room.
- Maintain a consistent bedtime routine: Toddlers like routine, so even small changes can throw off their sleep cycles. Stick to a soothing bedtime and naptime routine as much as possible, and make sure to wind down before bedtime with calming activities like reading a book or listening to soft music.
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Too much daytime sleep
A 20-month-old typically needs 10–12 hours of sleep each night, with bedtime occurring 12–14 hours after they wake up in the morning, assuming they've had a good nap. However, if your 20-month-old is getting too much daytime sleep, they may not be tired at night.
Toddlers need around 13 hours of sleep over a 24-hour period, with 10–12 hours at night and 2–3 hours during the day in one nap. If your toddler is napping for longer than this, they may not be tired when it's time for bed.
If your toddler is napping for too long during the day, you can try shortening their afternoon nap by 15 minutes. If this goes well, you can trim another 15 minutes off and put their bedtime 15 minutes earlier. Keep adjusting until you find a schedule that works for your toddler.
It's also important to keep your toddler's naps from going past 4 or 5 pm. In the 30 minutes before bedtime, create a soothing environment for your toddler by reading a book, putting on soft music, or giving them a relaxing bath. Avoid high-stimulation activities like watching TV or roughhousing.
If your toddler is resisting bedtime, it may be because they don't want to miss out on what everyone else is doing. They may also be anxious about being alone in the dark and may have fears of monsters under the bed or separation anxiety. It's important to establish a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it as much as possible.
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Hunger
If your toddler is still hungry after dinner, it is advisable to offer a healthy snack, such as a banana or cheese stick, about 45 minutes after the meal. However, avoid providing snacks too close to bedtime, as this can lead to your toddler associating bedtime with food and stalling sleep. Instead, ensure they receive sufficient nutrition throughout the day to meet their calorie needs.
If your child wakes up early, such as at 5:00 AM, hunger could be a contributing factor, especially if their last meal was early in the evening. In such cases, consider offering a protein-rich snack closer to bedtime to keep them fuller for longer. Additionally, ensure they are getting enough awake time before bed. Most 20-month-olds need up to 5.75 hours of awake time before sleep, and a schedule with 5-5.75 hours between sleep periods usually works best.
If your toddler is taking two naps, be mindful of the signs that it's time to transition to one nap. This transition is typically signaled when your toddler consistently takes shorter naps or when their nap extends beyond 3 hours. The goal is to ensure they get 12-14 hours of total sleep in a 24-hour period, with 10-12 hours of overnight sleep and 2-3 hours of daytime sleep.
If your toddler is struggling with sleep due to hunger, it's important to gradually adjust their feeding schedule and bedtime routine. Start by shortening their afternoon nap by 15 minutes at a time and gradually pushing back their bedtime by small increments until you reach the desired schedule. Additionally, creating a soothing bedtime routine, such as reading a book, playing soft music, or giving them a relaxing bath, can help your toddler relax and prepare for sleep.
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Lack of routine
Toddlers like routine, so even small changes, such as giving up the bottle, might disrupt your toddler's sleep cycles. A soothing bedtime and naptime routine should be set up, and then stuck to as much as possible. This can include reading a book, putting on soft music, or giving your toddler a relaxing bath.
If your toddler is napping during the day, you can try to shift some of that daytime sleep to the evening by shortening the afternoon nap by 15 minutes. You can then gradually trim another 15 minutes off the nap and slide bedtime 15 minutes earlier. Keep adjusting until you find a schedule that works for your toddler.
Toddlers may also try to exert their newfound independence by not wanting to go to bed or attempting to control their own bedtime. You can give them a sense of control by offering them choices during their bedtime routine. For example, you can ask them, "Do you want to wear the red pyjamas or the blue ones?" or "Would you like to brush your teeth or wash your face first?".
If your toddler is experiencing separation anxiety, you can consider leaving their bedroom door open or introducing a night light. These measures can help your toddler feel more secure at bedtime, while still maintaining healthy independent sleep habits.
If your toddler is resisting bedtime, you can try to make them feel involved in the process. During the day, you can explain how the night will go, for example, "Mummy will put you to bed and give you a hug, and then you will go to sleep like a big boy in the nice quiet room".
It is important to monitor your child's mood and energy levels to ensure they are getting the rest they need. The recommended hours of sleep are just a rough estimate, and the exact amount of sleep your toddler needs may vary.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several reasons why your toddler may not want to sleep. They may be napping too much during the day, or not enough, and are either not sleepy or too tired by the time night falls. They may also be experiencing separation anxiety and not want to be apart from their caregivers. Toddlers also like routine, so even small changes can throw their sleep cycles off.
A 20-month-old should be getting around 13 hours of total sleep per day, including 10-12 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day in one nap. However, this is just a rough estimate, and the exact amount of sleep your toddler needs may vary.
It is important to establish a soothing bedtime and naptime routine and stick to it. You can also try offering your toddler choices during their bedtime routine, such as which pyjamas to wear or whether they want to brush their teeth or wash their face first. You can also try leaving their bedroom door open or introducing a night light to help them feel more secure.
