
There are many reasons why toddlers may sleep better with their mothers. Firstly, co-sleeping facilitates easier breastfeeding, which is made more convenient through bed-sharing, allowing both mother and child to sleep more and better. Additionally, the comforting touch of a parent can have a calming effect on the baby, promoting better sleep. Co-sleeping can also have benefits for the mother's health, as a study by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett revealed that breastfeeding mothers reported more hours of sleep, better physical health, and lower rates of depression. However, it is important to note that there are differing opinions and potential risks associated with co-sleeping, and parents should make informed decisions based on their specific needs and circumstances.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Biological advantage | Co-sleeping is biologically appropriate and advantageous. |
| Bonding | Skin-to-skin contact and physical touch promote bonding and calmness. |
| Breastfeeding | Nighttime breastfeeding is easier, and mothers who breastfeed report more sleep. |
| Cognitive benefits | Maternal-newborn skin-to-skin contact improves cognitive skills and executive abilities. |
| Stress response | Children who co-sleep have a better neuroendocrine response to stress. |
| Safety | Co-sleeping is associated with an increased risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). |
| Sleep quality | Co-sleeping can lead to longer and more synchronous sleep for both parents and babies. |
| Parenting | Well-rested parents make better decisions and have improved emotion regulation. |
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What You'll Learn
- Breastfeeding is easier when co-sleeping, allowing mothers to get more sleep
- Skin-to-skin contact improves maternal behaviour and has long-term benefits for children
- The comforting touch of a parent calms and bonds babies to them
- Co-sleeping is biologically appropriate and aids maternal-child bonding
- Co-sleeping reduces the risk of postpartum depression and improves emotion regulation

Breastfeeding is easier when co-sleeping, allowing mothers to get more sleep
It is widely believed that toddlers sleep better when they are next to their mothers. While co-sleeping is a controversial topic, with organisations like the AAP advising against it due to the risks involved, it is still a common practice. Co-sleeping allows for easier breastfeeding, which can benefit both the mother and the child in numerous ways.
Breastfeeding mothers often experience sleep loss as they are the only ones who can feed the baby, whereas bottle-feeding allows parents to alternate. However, co-sleeping can make middle-of-the-night feedings much easier as the mother doesn't have to leave the room. This setup can also positively impact the mother's milk supply and the duration of breastfeeding. When the baby is in the same room, there is more opportunity to remove milk from the breast, which signals the body to make more milk.
The act of breastfeeding also induces the release of the hormone prolactin, which helps the mother fall asleep faster and easier. Prolactin also has a soothing effect on the mother's nerves, allowing for a more peaceful postpartum period. A study by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett revealed that exclusively breastfeeding mothers reported more hours of sleep, better physical health, more energy, and lower rates of depression. While these mothers woke up more frequently throughout the night, they fell back asleep faster and only woke up lightly, as they were bedsharing.
Co-sleeping also facilitates skin-to-skin contact, which has been shown to have numerous benefits. Dr Ruth Feldman's decade-long study found that maternal-newborn skin-to-skin contact resulted in mothers expressing more maternal behaviour. Additionally, children who received more skin-to-skin contact demonstrated better cognitive skills, executive abilities, more organised sleep, and a better neuroendocrine response to stress.
While co-sleeping has its advantages, it is important to consider the potential risks. Organisations like the AAP warn against bedsharing due to the increased risk of sleep-related death, especially for premature or low birth weight babies. It is crucial for parents to take necessary precautions, such as using a firm flat surface without gaps to reduce suffocation risks and ensuring no other children or pets are in the bed. Ultimately, the decision to co-sleep should be made based on the specific circumstances and needs of the family.
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Skin-to-skin contact improves maternal behaviour and has long-term benefits for children
Skin-to-skin contact between mothers and their babies has been shown to have numerous benefits for both parties. Firstly, it improves maternal behaviour and sensitivity. For example, a study by Dr. Ruth Feldman found that mothers who engaged in skin-to-skin contact with their prematurely born infants during the first six months of life exhibited more sensitive and maternal behaviour towards their babies. This increased sensitivity can have long-term benefits for children, as demonstrated in a 20-year follow-up study by Charpak et al. (2017). The study found that participants who had received Kangaroo Care as infants, which includes skin-to-skin contact, displayed better social functioning, which was attributed to their mothers' increased sensitivity and support.
Additionally, skin-to-skin contact improves children's cognitive development and physiological organization. The same study by Dr. Ruth Feldman followed children for ten years and found that those who had received more skin-to-skin contact during infancy demonstrated better cognitive skills, executive abilities, more organized sleep, and improved neuroendocrine responses to stress. These findings suggest that skin-to-skin contact has long-lasting positive effects on children's cognitive and physiological development.
Skin-to-skin contact also facilitates breastfeeding, which has benefits for both mother and child. Breastfeeding mothers tend to get more sleep, improved physical health, more energy, and lower rates of depression compared to mixed or formula-feeding mothers. Skin-to-skin contact after birth can initiate strong instinctive behaviours in both mother and child, leading to a successful first breastfeed. This early skin-to-skin contact increases the likelihood of breastfeeding success and can improve milk volume and the transfer of antibodies to the baby.
While co-sleeping and bed-sharing have been controversial topics due to safety concerns, some scholars argue that they are biologically appropriate and beneficial for both mother and child. The close proximity facilitates breastfeeding and enhances the maternal-child bond, resulting in improved sleep for both. However, it is important to weigh these potential benefits against the risks associated with co-sleeping, such as the increased risk of SIDS as noted by the AAP.
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The comforting touch of a parent calms and bonds babies to them
The idea that babies sleep better next to their mothers is a controversial one. While some sources advise against co-sleeping due to the risk factors involved, others argue that it is not only common but "biologically appropriate". Indeed, a study by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett revealed that breastfeeding mothers who bedshare reported significantly more hours of sleep, better physical health, more energy, and lower rates of depression.
Regardless of the controversy, the comforting touch of a parent can have a profound impact on calming and bonding with their babies. Touch is a primal form of communication that can induce tranquility and soothe a crying child. This phenomenon is not limited to babies but extends to children and adults as well. Jose Grajeda, for example, recalls receiving a soothing caress from his mother as a child, which he now refers to as "piojito" and continues to ask his mother and children to give him.
Neuroscientists have been studying how our skin senses specific types of touch and how these sensations light up regions of the brain to alter our emotions. Our skin contains nerves that are particularly sensitive to gentle, stroking caresses, triggering warm, calm, and peaceful feelings. This type of touch is often referred to as "magic touch" or "piojito" in Spanish, meaning "little lice".
In the context of parent-infant relationships, physical contact is crucial for feeding, moving, and other caregiving activities. This contact encourages the formation of an emotional bond between the infant and caregiver. The tactile sensation and deep pressure of physical interactions, such as hugging, can serve as a form of emotional communication, altering the behavior and mood of both the infant and caregiver.
Additionally, skin-to-skin contact or "kangaroo care" has been shown to have numerous benefits for premature infants. In a study by Dr. Ruth Feldman, mothers who engaged in skin-to-skin contact with their premature infants expressed more maternal behavior toward their babies. These children demonstrated better cognitive skills, executive abilities, more organized sleep, and improved stress response ten years later.
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Co-sleeping is biologically appropriate and aids maternal-child bonding
Co-sleeping is a controversial topic, with organisations like the AAP, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the National Health Service of the U.K. advising against it due to associated risk factors. However, proponents of co-sleeping argue that it is biologically appropriate and aids in maternal-child bonding, leading to improved sleep for both mother and child.
Anthropologist James J. McKenna, director emeritus of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, has devoted his career to studying the impact of co-sleeping on babies and their caregivers. McKenna, along with Edmund P. Joyce, authored "Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Cosleeping," in which they argue that co-sleeping is not only common but biologically appropriate. They attribute this to the ease of maternal-child bonding through breastfeeding, which is facilitated by bed-sharing.
The idea that co-sleeping is biologically appropriate is further supported by observations of other mammals, primates, and non-Western societies. Anthropologists have noted that the majority of non-Western societies around the world practice co-sleeping, suggesting that it may provide some biological advantage. Additionally, the comforting touch and mutual interaction that occurs during co-sleeping have been shown to calm and bond babies to their parents.
Furthermore, co-sleeping can have practical benefits for both the child and caregiver. For example, breastfeeding mothers who co-sleep may experience improved sleep due to the ease of access to their babies, allowing them to fall back asleep more quickly and easily. Co-sleeping can also lead to more synchronous arousals between the sleep-sharers, resulting in less disruption for both parties.
While co-sleeping may not be the preferred sleeping arrangement for all families, it is a choice that parents can make to meet their specific needs. By normalising expectations around sleep and providing accurate information about the benefits and risks of co-sleeping, parents can make informed decisions that best serve their families. Ultimately, the quality of the parent-child relationship, rather than the sleeping arrangement, is what matters most to a child's development.
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Co-sleeping reduces the risk of postpartum depression and improves emotion regulation
Co-sleeping, or bed-sharing, has been a topic of debate among parents and experts for decades. While some warn against it due to safety concerns and the potential risks associated with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), others advocate for its benefits, including improved sleep for both parents and children, enhanced emotional regulation, and a reduced risk of postpartum depression.
The act of co-sleeping facilitates the maternal-child bond, particularly through breastfeeding. Breastfeeding mothers who co-sleep tend to experience improved sleep quality, better physical health, more energy, and lower rates of depression compared to mixed or formula-feeding mothers. The proximity allows mothers to quickly tend to their babies' needs without fully awakening, enabling them to fall back asleep more easily.
Additionally, co-sleeping provides benefits that extend beyond infancy. For example, Dr. Ruth Feldman's decade-long study found that premature infants who received more skin-to-skin contact with their mothers during the first six months of life demonstrated better cognitive skills, executive abilities, more organized sleep, and improved neuroendocrine responses to stress ten years later. The power of human touch, a primal form of communication, cannot be overstated.
Furthermore, co-sleeping can positively impact the entire family system. Well-rested parents are likely to make better decisions and exhibit improved emotional regulation, which can enhance parent-child interactions during the day. Fathers who co-sleep also experience a drop in testosterone, leading to more sensitive and responsive parenting.
While co-sleeping may not be the choice for every family, it is essential to recognize its potential advantages. By understanding the benefits, parents can make informed decisions that align with their specific needs and circumstances.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several reasons why toddlers might sleep better with their mothers. Firstly, the comforting touch of a parent can have a calming effect on the baby, aiding better sleep. Secondly, breastfeeding is easier when the mother and baby sleep close to each other, and breastfeeding mothers tend to get more sleep due to falling back to sleep faster and not waking up fully. Additionally, skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby has been shown to have positive long-term effects on the baby's cognitive skills, executive abilities, and sleep organization. Finally, co-sleeping is seen as biologically appropriate, with anthropological observations showing that the majority of non-Western societies around the world co-sleep.
While co-sleeping can have benefits, there are also risks to consider. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has highlighted the dangers associated with co-sleeping, specifically the increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Other potential risks include the quality of sleep for the parent, as well as the potential for deeper sleep to affect the baby's safety.
Co-sleeping is a common practice, and it is estimated that even by one year of age, not even half of babies sleep through the night. Anthropological observations have shown that co-sleeping is prevalent in the majority of non-Western societies around the world.
Co-sleeping can have a positive impact on the sleep quality of both the parent and the baby. Breastfeeding mothers who co-sleep tend to get more sleep due to the ease of breastfeeding during the night and the ability to fall back to sleep faster. Additionally, research suggests that well-rested parents make better decisions and have better emotion regulation, which can positively impact parent-child interactions during the day.
Yes, the perception and practice of co-sleeping can be influenced by cultural expectations and norms. In Western cultures, there may be a higher tendency to encourage separate sleeping arrangements for babies, while in non-Western societies, co-sleeping is more commonly accepted and practiced. These cultural expectations may be shaped by historical recommendations and the influence of the baby industry, which promotes certain products and ideas to new parents.











































