Sleep-Deprived Toddlers: Navigating The Challenges Of Toddler Insomnia

Toddlers need a lot of sleep -- 11 to 14 hours a day, including naps -- but getting them to sleep can be a challenge. There are many reasons why toddlers won't sleep, from teething pain and separation anxiety to too much screen time and overstimulation. Here are some strategies to help your toddler get the sleep they need:

- Establish a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it. This could include a warm bath, a snack, brushing teeth, reading a book, singing a song, and dimming the lights.

- Limit screen time before bed. The light and action from screens can be stimulating and distracting, making it hard for toddlers to wind down.

- Make sure your toddler is getting enough physical activity during the day to burn off energy.

- Create a calm and comfortable sleep environment. The room should be cool, dark, and quiet, with minimal noise and light distractions.

- Be consistent with nap schedules. Toddlers need about 1-3 hours of naps a day, depending on their age. Avoid naps too close to bedtime, as this can interfere with nighttime sleep.

- If your toddler is afraid of the dark, consider using a dim night light to ease their worries.

- Avoid giving in to your toddler's stalling tactics, such as asking for more stories or drinks. Set clear boundaries and stick to them.

- If your toddler is old enough, involve them in creating the bedtime routine to give them a sense of control. For example, they can choose between two books or pairs of pajamas.

- If your toddler is sick, offer extra comfort and cuddles, but try to maintain their regular bedtime routine once they feel better.

- If you're co-sleeping out of desperation, consider gradual behavioural modifications to help your toddler learn to sleep independently. This may include gradually decreasing the time spent at their bedside and rewarding them for staying in their bed.

Remember, every toddler is unique, and it's important to be patient and consistent in establishing healthy sleep habits.

They're overstimulated

Overstimulation in toddlers occurs when they are exposed to more experiences, sensations, noise, and activities than they can process. This can lead to difficulties in falling asleep and staying asleep. Here are some signs, causes, and strategies to help your overstimulated toddler sleep better:

Signs of Overstimulation in Toddlers:

• Increased crankiness and irritability
• Crying and tantrums
• Aggressive behaviour and hitting
• Difficulty following instructions and rules
• Lack of obedience and cooperation
• Clumsiness and decreased coordination
• Increased need for attention and clinginess

Causes of Overstimulation in Toddlers:

• Lack of sleep: Toddlers who don't get enough sleep or have disrupted sleep schedules can become overstimulated.
• Too much activity: Busy days with lots of noise, people, and new experiences can overwhelm toddlers.
• Disrupted routine: Changes in daily routines, including naps, mealtimes, and playtime, can contribute to overstimulation.
• Sensory overload: Bright lights, loud noises, and excessive screen time can overstimulate toddlers.

Strategies to Help Overstimulated Toddlers Sleep:

• Maintain a consistent sleep schedule: Establish a predictable bedtime routine and stick to specific wake-up and sleep times, even on weekends.
• Create a calming environment: Reduce noise and activity levels before bedtime. Use soft lighting, play soothing music, and engage in calming activities like reading or singing quiet songs.
• Adjust nap times: Ensure your toddler gets enough daytime sleep without disrupting their nighttime sleep. Gradually adjust nap durations and timings to find the right balance.
• Provide comfort: Offer comfort objects like stuffed animals or blankets. Stay with your toddler until they fall asleep if needed, but avoid creating a dependency on your presence.
• Maintain a comfortable sleep environment: Ensure the bedroom is cool, dark, and quiet. Consider using blackout curtains, white noise machines, or a fan to create a soothing atmosphere.
• Establish bedtime routines: Develop a consistent bedtime routine that includes calming activities such as reading, taking a bath, or having quiet conversations.
• Limit screen time: Avoid screens at least an hour before bedtime, as the blue light from electronic devices can interfere with melatonin production and disrupt sleep.
• Manage expectations: Prepare yourself for your toddler's overstimulation by adjusting your expectations. Show extra patience and understanding, and focus on remedying the cause of their overstimulation.
• Respect their personality: Recognize that each toddler has different tolerance levels for stimulation. Respect their needs and provide them with the necessary support to manage overstimulation.

They're going through big changes

Toddlers go through a lot of changes and transitions, such as new siblings, starting preschool or getting a new babysitter, moving from a crib to a bed, dropping naps, and potty training. With these changes comes disruption, and you may notice that your toddler is crankier and clingier than usual, or that they're not eating as much.

These big changes can also affect sleep patterns. For example, if your toddler is moving from a crib to a bed, they now have the freedom to get out of bed and explore their surroundings, which can be a major trigger for sleep problems. Similarly, if your toddler is dropping naps, they may be overtired at bedtime, leading to difficulty calming down and falling asleep.

To help your toddler adjust to these big changes, it's important to establish a consistent and calming bedtime routine. This may include a warm bath, reading books, singing songs, or having quiet conversations about the day. It's also crucial to avoid screens and other stimulating activities before bed, as these can interfere with your toddler's sleep.

Additionally, make sure that your toddler's bedroom is a comfortable and relaxing environment. Consider factors such as temperature, lighting, and noise levels, and address any issues that may be disrupting your toddler's sleep.

Remember that these changes can take time to adjust to, and it's important to be patient and consistent with your bedtime routines.

They're not tired

If your toddler is refusing to sleep, one of the first things to consider is whether they are actually tired. This may seem obvious, but it's worth evaluating, especially if their behaviour is consistent and they seem full of energy.

Toddlers typically require less sleep than infants, but they still need a significant amount of sleep to support their rapid growth and development. On average, toddlers need around 11-14 hours of sleep over a 24-hour period, including nighttime sleep and naps. However, this varies from child to child

They're too tired

Toddlers who are too tired may exhibit hyperactivity, irritability, and rigidity. They may also become more defiant and resistant to bedtime, stalling or even fighting it. This phenomenon is known as the "curtain call", where toddlers, driven by their curiosity and developing verbal skills, make repeated requests to delay bedtime.

When toddlers are overtired, their bodies release cortisol and adrenaline, triggering a fight-or-flight response that makes it challenging for them to calm down and fall asleep. Instead, they may get a second wind of energy or experience a meltdown. Additionally, being overtired can cause toddlers to wake up frequently during the night or wake up feeling unrested.

To prevent and address overtiredness in toddlers, it is crucial to establish a consistent and calming bedtime routine. This includes setting a firm sleep schedule, even on weekends, and ensuring that the bedroom environment is relaxing and free from distractions. It is also important to provide opportunities for active play during the day so that toddlers can expend their energy healthily.

If your toddler is struggling with overtiredness, consider the following strategies:

• Adjust their nap schedule: Shorten or lengthen their afternoon nap by 15-minute increments to find the optimal duration that promotes better nighttime sleep.
• Create a soothing environment: Dim the lights and play calming music or white noise to signal to their brain that it's time to wind down and produce melatonin.
• Limit screen time: Avoid screens at least 45 minutes before bedtime as the blue light from devices can disrupt melatonin production.
• Engage in quiet play: Opt for calm activities before bed instead of roughhousing, which can overexcite your toddler.
• Offer an earlier bedtime: If your toddler is consistently struggling to fall asleep, try moving their bedtime earlier in small increments until you find the ideal time that allows them to fall asleep more easily.
• Focus on relaxation: If your toddler is already overtired, shift the focus from sleep to relaxation. Go to a quiet room, dim the lights, and engage in calming activities like deep breathing or singing lullabies.

They're having nightmares

Nightmares are a common occurrence in toddlers and can be caused by a variety of factors. They can be scary and upsetting dreams that cause children to wake up feeling frightened and distressed. Toddlers may have nightmares about real dangers, such as aggressive dogs or spiders, or imaginary fears like monsters. They might also dream about distressing events they have experienced or witnessed.

If your toddler is having nightmares, here are some strategies to help them cope:

• Reassurance and Comfort: Let your child know that you are there for them and provide comfort. Reassure them that it was just a bad dream and that they are safe. Offer a hug, soothing words, or a gentle back rub.
• Label the Nightmare: Explain to your child that what they experienced was a nightmare and that it is now over. For example, say, "You had a bad dream, but now you're awake and everything is okay."
• Validate their Feelings: Acknowledge that it is okay for them to feel scared after a nightmare. Avoid dismissing their fears or telling them they are being silly. Let them know that nightmares can feel very real.
• Explain the Difference Between Real and Make-Believe: If your child has dreamed about monsters or other imaginary creatures, explain that these are not real and cannot hurt them. You can say that while make-believe things can be scary, they don't pose any actual danger.
• Use Comfort Items: Provide your child with a favourite stuffed animal, blanket, or pillow to help them feel safe and secure. These items can provide comfort and make it easier for them to fall back asleep.
• Create a Calm Environment: Ensure your child's bedroom is a cozy and peaceful place. Consider using a nightlight or a dim light in the hallway to help them feel safer in the dark.
• Avoid Scary Content Before Bed: Steer clear of scary movies, TV shows, or stories before bedtime, especially if they have triggered nightmares in the past. Opt for calming and relaxing activities instead.
• Encourage Relaxing Bedtime Routines: Establish a consistent bedtime routine that helps your child wind down and feel secure. This might include a warm bath, reading a book, listening to soft music, or having quiet conversations about pleasant topics.
• Maintain a Regular Sleep Schedule: Stick to a regular bedtime and wake-up time. A consistent sleep schedule can help regulate your child's sleep patterns and reduce the likelihood of nightmares.
• Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your child is experiencing frequent nightmares or if they are causing significant distress, consider seeking advice from a healthcare professional. They can provide guidance and strategies to help your child manage their nightmares more effectively.

Frequently asked questions