Letting Your Newborn Cry: When Is The Right Time?

when should i let my newborn cry himself to sleep

Sleep training is a spectrum of approaches to help babies learn to fall asleep by themselves. One of the most well-known methods is the cry-it-out (CIO) method, which involves letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep without intervention. While this method can be stressful for parents, research suggests it can help babies learn to fall and stay asleep on their own and does not cause long-term harm or behavioural problems. The CIO method is typically recommended for babies between 4 and 6 months old when their sleep cycles are more regular and predictable, and they can usually go through the night without feeding. However, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training, and parents should decide what works best for their family and their baby's temperament.

Characteristics Values
Goal To have a baby fall asleep without sleep associations, like being rocked by a parent
Age Between 4 and 6 months is a good time to start sleep training
Baby's weight Babies who were born prematurely or who aren't gaining enough weight may need to wake to eat at night until they're older
Baby's health If the baby is sick or hurt, parents are advised to respond to their crying
Parental comfort Parents should decide together what they consider "too long" for their baby to be left to cry
Parental stress Some parents find it stressful or even impossible to allow their baby to cry for extended periods without responding
Effectiveness Research suggests it can quickly help babies learn to fall and stay asleep on their own
Long-term effects Studies suggest it does not result in long-term attachment or behavioral problems

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Graduated extinction

The "cry it out" (CIO) method is a sleep training technique that involves letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep without a caregiver's help. While it can be emotionally challenging for parents, studies suggest that it is effective and does not cause lasting emotional harm to the child.

It's important to note that graduated extinction is not recommended for babies under 6 months old. Additionally, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training, and parents should decide what they are comfortable with before starting. Alternatives to graduated extinction, such as bedtime fading, have been found to be equally effective in improving sleep habits.

Some parents may find the idea of letting their baby cry distressing and worry about potential side effects. It's essential to consider the potential challenges and decide what works best for each family. While studies suggest that graduated extinction can be effective, it may not be the best approach for all babies or parents.

Overall, the decision to use the CIO method or graduated extinction for sleep training is a personal one. While it has been shown to be effective in improving sleep habits, it's important to remember that there are alternative techniques available, and the well-being of both the child and the parents should be prioritised when making a decision.

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Full extinction

The "cry-it-out" (CIO) method is an umbrella term for several sleep training methods that involve letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep on their own. One such method is "full extinction", which involves putting your baby down and not going back in to soothe them. This is in contrast to the graduated extinction method, where parents go in at set intervals to resettle the baby, gradually extending the length of each interval over time.

According to Marc Weissbluth, MD, parents can start predictable bedtime routines with their infants as young as 5 to 6 weeks old, letting them cry for 10 to 20 minutes before sleep. When the baby is 4 months old, Weissbluth recommends full extinction, which means allowing them to cry until they stop or fall asleep without any parent interaction. By this age, babies no longer need night feeds and can sleep through the night. Heidi Murkoff explains that night waking after 5 months is a habit.

It's important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for sleep training. While some babies are naturally good sleepers, most will need to learn how to sleep well at some point. The CIO method may not be suitable for all families, as it can be difficult for busy parents and may conflict with certain cultural practices. Ultimately, parents should trust their instincts and listen to their baby's needs, deciding together what they consider too long for their baby to be left crying.

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Bedtime fading

To start bedtime fading, first, pay attention to your child's sleep patterns and cues and use this information to determine their natural bedtime. Then, put your child to bed at the time they're naturally falling asleep. This helps your child learn to associate being in bed with feeling sleepy. For example, if your child falls asleep at 10 pm, start with this as their temporary bedtime.

Once your child is falling asleep well at their natural bedtime, you can start gradually making their bedtime earlier. This might be about a week after you start bedtime fading. Make bedtime about 15 minutes earlier every few days until you reach the ideal bedtime for your child. This gradual approach gives your child's body time to get used to falling asleep at the earlier time.

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Self-soothing

The "cry-it-out" (CIO) method is a sleep training technique that involves letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep independently. It is based on the idea that a baby can learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own, rather than relying on a caregiver. While the CIO method can sound harsh, studies suggest that it is effective and does not cause stress or lasting emotional problems for babies.

There are several CIO methods, including the Ferber method, which involves setting specific time increments to check on the baby if they are crying. Another method is "full extinction," where parents allow their baby to cry until they fall asleep or stop crying without any parent interaction or checks. The "graduated extinction" model, a technical term for crying it out, is another popular method. Parents are asked to leave the room within a minute of putting their child to bed and wait for longer periods before going back to comfort them.

It is important to note that newborns are not typically capable of self-soothing, and encouraging them to do so can be harmful. As babies get older, their sleep patterns become more regular, making self-soothing easier. By the time a baby is 4 months old, they will develop the capacity to self-regulate and self-soothe to sleep.

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Sleep training

The CIO method can be implemented in several ways, including the Ferber or graduated extinction method, where parents allow their baby to cry for a specified short period before offering comfort, gradually increasing the time between responses. Another approach is "full extinction", where parents do not interact with or check on the baby until the next morning. However, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and parents should decide what they are comfortable with.

It is important to note that sleep training does not have to involve crying. Gentler approaches, such as "bedtime fading", are also effective and preferred by many parents. This technique involves gradually moving bedtime earlier, allowing the baby to get tired more quickly and fall asleep more easily. Other gentle methods include "camping out", where the parent sleeps next to the baby's crib, and parental education, where parents learn about baby sleep patterns and how to establish healthy sleep habits.

The ideal time to start sleep training is between 4 and 6 months, when babies' sleep cycles become more regular and predictable, and they can usually go through the night without feeding. However, it is recommended to consult a child health specialist to determine the best approach for your baby's specific needs and development.

Frequently asked questions

The cry-it-out method, also known as CIO or extinction sleep training, involves putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake at a set time every night and not responding to their crying until the next morning.

Pediatricians recommend that you don't start sleep training until your baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs at least 12 pounds. Some sources suggest starting when your baby is between 4 and 6 months old, as their sleep cycles are more regular and predictable at this age.

There is no single answer to this question, and the decision is ultimately up to the parents. Some sources suggest letting your baby cry for 5 minutes before responding for the first time, and then gradually increasing the time between responses by 5-minute increments. Others recommend not putting a time limit on it and letting your baby cry until they fall asleep.

Yes, there are several other sleep training methods that you can try, such as bedtime fading, camping out, and parental education. These methods involve gentler approaches that may be more suitable for some parents and babies.

Research suggests that the cry-it-out method is effective and does not cause stress or lasting emotional problems for babies. However, some parents may find it stressful or difficult to implement. It is important to remember that every baby is different, and you should decide what is best for your family and your baby's temperament.

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