
While co-sleeping with a seven-year-old boy is considered normal in many families and cultures, it is not recommended. Research shows that co-sleeping can negatively impact the child's psychological development, leading to issues with sleep, lower self-esteem, and delayed development of a strong personality. It can also cause sleep deprivation for parents, impacting their marital relationship and well-being. However, some parents choose to co-sleep with their children due to comfort, connection, and the child's anxiety or stress. It is essential to recognize the potential challenges and seek professional help if needed to establish healthy sleep habits for the child and the family.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Co-sleeping is normal | In many families and cultures, co-sleeping is considered normal. |
| Co-sleeping is not recommended | The American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against co-sleeping at any age, especially if the infant is younger than four months old. |
| Co-sleeping impacts | Psychological development, sleep-wake cycle, quality of sleep, parental stress, personal time, intimacy, psychological well-being, marital relationship, participation in age-appropriate activities |
| Co-sleeping prevalence | 45% of mothers co-sleep with their 8- to 12-year-olds occasionally, and 13% do so daily. |
| Reasons for co-sleeping | Nurturing, comfort, closeness, safety, stress, anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, dependency |
| Strategies to transition | Gradual removal of parental presence, reassurance, distractions, consistent sleep-wake time, rewards, professional treatment, psychotherapy |
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What You'll Learn
- Co-sleeping can negatively impact a child's psychological development, sleep patterns, and independence
- Co-sleeping can affect parents' sleep, intimacy, and relationship
- Children may seek comfort and closeness from co-sleeping
- Parents can try gradual behavioural strategies to encourage independent sleeping
- Co-sleeping is considered normal in many families and cultures

Co-sleeping can negatively impact a child's psychological development, sleep patterns, and independence
Co-sleeping is a common practice in many cultures and countries, especially in the East, such as India and Japan. In Western countries, co-sleeping is less prevalent, and there has been a shift towards independence, with a focus on solitary sleeping in toddlerhood and childhood. While some parents choose co-sleeping for its perceived benefits, such as bonding and convenience, it is important to consider the potential negative impacts on a child's psychological development, sleep patterns, and independence.
Firstly, co-sleeping can negatively impact a child's psychological development. Studies have shown that co-sleeping is associated with behavior problems in preadolescence, including negative moods, less persistence in activities, intense temperament, and reduced adaptability. Co-sleeping has also been linked to internalizing behavior, generalized anxiety, and poorer sleep quality, which can contribute to psychological issues. Additionally, children who co-sleep may struggle with developing strong personalities and overcoming fears, impacting their future ability to cope with challenges independently.
Secondly, co-sleeping can disrupt a child's sleep patterns. Children who sleep in the same bed as their parents tend to experience shorter and more interrupted sleep, leading to decreased sleep quality. The sleep-wake cycle can become disrupted, resulting in a tendency to sleep and wake up late. This disruption can have further implications for the child's daily routine and overall well-being.
Lastly, co-sleeping can hinder a child's independence. The value placed on early independence in Western cultures may conflict with the practice of co-sleeping. Concerns have been raised that co-sleeping may stunt a child's independence development, leading to family stress and dissatisfaction. Encouraging children to sleep alone can promote their sense of autonomy and ability to self-soothe. It is important for children to learn to face their fears and develop the necessary skills to sleep independently, which can contribute to their overall resilience and adaptability.
While co-sleeping may be a personal choice for some families, it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks. By understanding the possible negative impacts on a child's psychological development, sleep patterns, and independence, parents can make informed decisions and take appropriate steps to ensure their child's well-being. Seeking professional advice and guidance can help parents navigate this complex topic and ensure a healthy sleep environment for their child.
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Co-sleeping can affect parents' sleep, intimacy, and relationship
Co-sleeping is a common practice in many cultures, although it is not recommended by the American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) due to potential risks to the child's psychological development and safety. While co-sleeping can foster emotional bonding and a sense of security for the child, it can also have negative impacts on the parents' sleep, intimacy, and relationship.
Sleep
Co-sleeping can lead to sleep disruptions for both children and parents due to movements, snoring, or restless sleep behaviors. This can result in fragmented sleep, reduced sleep quality, and daytime fatigue, impacting the overall well-being and functioning of both the child and the parents. Additionally, co-sleeping may contribute to separation anxiety and dependency in children, making it challenging for them to transition to independent sleeping arrangements as they grow older.
Intimacy
Co-sleeping can reduce personal time and intimacy between parents, especially in heterosexual relationships where the mother and father share a bed. This can lead to feelings of tension and drifting apart, as one parent may feel they are missing out on attention and affection.
Relationship
The lack of personal time and intimacy caused by co-sleeping can put a strain on the parents' relationship and is even cited as one of the leading causes of separation among couples. In addition, societal expectations and judgments about co-sleeping can lead to feelings of anxiety and low self-efficacy, especially for mothers, which can further impact the relationship.
While co-sleeping can have benefits for the parent-child relationship, it is important to consider the potential impacts on the parents' sleep, intimacy, and relationship dynamics. Finding a balance between promoting emotional security and fostering age-appropriate independence is crucial for the well-being of the entire family.
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Children may seek comfort and closeness from co-sleeping
Co-sleeping is a complex familial phenomenon that has yet to be fully understood by Western scientists. While it is a common practice in many families and cultures, it is not recommended by the American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) at any age, especially for infants younger than four months old.
For families who want to maintain physical closeness, co-sleeping can be an important context for encouraging sensitive and responsive caregiving and providing maternal-infant physiological synchrony and regulation. Human infants require physical contact and touch for normal physiological, socio-emotional, and cognitive development. Co-sleeping can also be a source of comfort and support for parents, especially those who are new mothers or facing psychological or health issues from childbirth.
However, co-sleeping can also have negative impacts on both children and parents. It can delay the psychological development of children, affecting their ability to develop strong personalities and sleep independently. Co-sleeping can also lead to greater sleep issues for children, including shorter and more interrupted sleep, a disrupted sleep-wake cycle, and difficulty adjusting to a consistent sleep and wake time. These issues can contribute to increased stress and reduced personal time and intimacy for parents, impacting their relationship with their partner.
While co-sleeping can provide comfort and closeness, it is important to consider the potential benefits and drawbacks to make an informed decision that prioritizes the well-being of both children and parents.
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Parents can try gradual behavioural strategies to encourage independent sleeping
While co-sleeping with a seven-year-old is considered normal in many families and cultures, it is not recommended. Co-sleeping can impact a child's psychological development, sleep-wake cycle, and their ability to sleep independently. It can also increase stress levels in parents and reduce personal time and intimacy with partners. Therefore, parents can try gradual behavioural strategies to encourage independent sleeping in their children.
Firstly, it is important to establish a consistent daily routine. Eating, napping, and bedtime should follow the same structure, such as dinner, bath, brushing teeth, reading stories, and then sleeping. This helps children feel more secure about going to bed. It is also beneficial to create an environment conducive to sleep by removing electronic devices and avoiding stimulating activities at least one hour before bedtime. Instead, parents can play soothing music or read a book to relax and distract the child from any fears of sleeping alone.
Secondly, parents can start by sleeping in the child's room without engaging with them, gradually moving towards sitting outside the room, and eventually removing themselves entirely. This helps the child get used to sleeping alone without feeling abandoned. It is also crucial to address the child's fears and low self-esteem, which may be preventing them from sleeping independently. Reassure the child and encourage them to face their fears, helping them develop a stronger personality.
Additionally, parents can reward good behaviour and maintain a consistent sleep and wake time. For example, after a good night's sleep, the child can choose their favourite cereal or outfit for the next day. This positive reinforcement helps the child associate good behaviour with rewards. Finally, it is essential to remember that learning to sleep independently takes time and may involve setbacks. Be patient and consistent, and seek professional help if needed.
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Co-sleeping is considered normal in many families and cultures
Co-sleeping is a common practice in many families and cultures, with some sources estimating that it occurs in at least 40% of all documented cultures. While it is a hotly debated topic in Western cultures, it is considered normal and even necessary in many parts of the world.
For instance, in Mayan culture, it is common for mothers and babies to sleep together, and the idea of separating them at night is met with shock and pity. Similarly, Balinese babies are typically held almost constantly, day and night, and in Japan, the most common sleeping arrangement involves the child sleeping between the mother and father.
Anthropological evidence suggests that bed-sharing is a tradition that dates back over 200,000 years, with Homo sapien mothers and their newborns sleeping together since the earliest days of our species. Modern hunter-gatherer societies, which provide insights into the behaviours of our early ancestors, also universally practise bed-sharing.
In modern times, co-sleeping has become increasingly common, with a 2013 study finding that bed-sharing nearly doubled between 1993 and 2010, from 6% to 13.5% of parents. While some parents choose to co-sleep due to cultural norms or personal preference, others do so out of necessity, especially in situations where safe and separate sleeping spaces may not be available.
While co-sleeping can have benefits, such as fostering a sense of closeness and comfort for both parents and children, it is important to consider potential risks and challenges. Some experts warn that co-sleeping can delay a child's psychological development and negatively impact their sleep quality and sleep-wake cycle. Additionally, co-sleeping may reduce personal time and intimacy between parents, which can become a source of stress and relationship issues.
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Frequently asked questions
Co-sleeping is not recommended at any age, but it is considered normal in many families and cultures. Research shows that 45% of mothers let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them occasionally, and 13% permit it every night.
Co-sleeping can negatively impact the child's psychological development, causing issues with sleeping independently and affecting their sleep-wake cycle. It can also lead to memory loss, fatigue, low energy, depression, and obesity. Additionally, it can impact the parents' relationship and their psychological well-being due to sleep deprivation.
Parents can reassure their child and help them face their fears, gradually reducing their presence at bedtime. They can also establish a bedtime routine, such as reading a book or playing soothing music, and avoid screen time before bed. Rewarding the child for maintaining their sleep cycle can also be encouraging. If difficulties persist, parents should consider seeking professional help.











































