Crying Babies: To Soothe Or Not To Soothe?

is it ok to let a newborn cry to sleep

The “cry it out” (CIO) method is a sleep training technique that involves letting a baby cry until they fall asleep. While some parents swear by it, others believe that letting a baby cry is harmful. Pediatricians recommend that parents do not start sleep training until their baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs 12 pounds. The CIO method can be challenging for parents, and it is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training. Recent studies suggest that it is generally okay to let a baby cry it out, and it may even lead to better sleep for both parents and babies in the long run. However, it is essential to be aware of situations where a baby's crying may signal that they need help or are ill.

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The benefits of self-soothing

The cry-it-out (CIO) method is a sleep training technique that involves letting a baby cry until they fall asleep. While this method can sound harsh, it is based on the idea that a baby can learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, rather than relying on a caregiver. Self-soothing is an important developmental step for a child, and it offers several benefits for both the baby and their caregivers.

One of the main benefits of self-soothing is improved sleep quality and duration for the baby. Babies who learn to self-soothe are more likely to sleep for longer stretches and eventually sleep through the night without frequent wakings. This is because they can calm and settle themselves back to sleep without needing to be fed, pacified, or rocked. Self-soothing also helps babies link their sleep cycles, which further contributes to longer sleep periods.

Another advantage of self-soothing is the development of emotional regulation skills. Babies who can self-soothe are better able to manage their emotions and impulses as they grow older. They tend to have improved tantrum management as toddlers and exhibit less impulsive behaviour as older children, leading to better concentration in school.

Additionally, self-soothing can benefit the caregivers' well-being. Sleep deprivation can significantly impact the mental health of caregivers, and having a baby who can self-soothe can reduce symptoms of depression in caregivers. It also allows caregivers to have more settled and predictable routines, as they are not constantly responding to the baby's needs throughout the night.

It is important to note that newborns are typically not capable of self-soothing due to their irregular sleep patterns and frequent feeding needs. Sleep training methods, including the CIO approach, are generally recommended for babies from 12 to 16 weeks of age or older, when their sleep patterns start to become more regular. Establishing healthy sleep habits and routines from birth can lay the foundation for better sleep later on and make the transition to self-soothing easier.

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When to start sleep training

Sleep training is the process of teaching your baby to soothe themselves so they can fall asleep and go back to sleep on their own. It involves creating a regular bedtime routine and helping them learn how to fall back to sleep on their own if they wake up in the middle of the night, provided they are not sick and do not need to be fed or changed.

There is no one "sleep training age" and the answer will differ for each baby. However, most babies are not ready for "formal" sleep training until they are 4 to 6 months old. This is when their sleep patterns begin to emerge, and they slowly learn to soothe themselves to sleep. Before starting sleep training, it is important to establish healthy sleeping habits, such as a consistent bedtime routine, and to teach them good sleep habits from birth.

Some sources suggest that you can start sleep training with infants as young as 5 to 6 weeks old. At this age, you can begin by letting your baby cry for 10 to 20 minutes before sleep. By 4 months old, some sources recommend doing "full extinction", which means allowing them to cry until they stop crying or fall asleep without parent interaction. Others suggest that by 6 months old, it is appropriate to do "cold turkey" cry-it-out (CIO).

However, it is important to note that there is no single answer to how long you should let your baby cry. Some sources recommend checking on your baby at intervals of about 5 to 10 minutes if they cry, and giving them gentle pats to soothe them, but not picking them up. Other gentle approaches include camping out and parental education, which can help most babies and parents get more sleep. Ultimately, the decision to sleep train, and the method chosen, should be informed by your own research and what works best for you, your family, and your baby's temperament.

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Graduated extinction

While some sources say that it is okay to let a newborn cry itself to sleep, others recommend waiting until the baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs 12 pounds. During the first 12-16 weeks of life, a baby's circadian rhythm is maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb while learning the difference between night and day. Their sleep is very disorganized, and sleep training will not be effective.

To use the graduated extinction method, parents are encouraged to put their baby to bed when they are drowsy but still awake. Then, let the baby cry for 5 minutes before responding the first time. After that, you can extend the time between responses by 5-minute increments. For example, you might stay for 1-2 minutes and then leave, regardless of whether the baby is still crying or asleep.

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Full extinction

The cry-it-out (CIO) method is a sleep-training technique that involves letting a baby cry during sleep training. The idea is that babies need to learn how to fall asleep, just as they learn other skills like rolling over, crawling, and walking. This method can be effective, but it is also controversial, as it can be difficult for parents to listen to their babies cry.

The CIO method is an umbrella term for several different methods that involve letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep on their own. One of these methods is called "full extinction" or the "extinction method". This method involves putting your baby down and not going back into the room for any soothing or check-ins. In other words, you allow them to cry until they stop or fall asleep without any parent interaction.

The "full extinction" method is often considered harsher than other CIO methods, such as the "graduated extinction method", which allows for some soothing or settling of the baby. However, the "full extinction" method is simpler to follow, with fewer rules and variables. It also typically leads to no crying at all much faster than other methods. The whole process usually takes only a few days.

It is important to note that sleep training in general, and the CIO method in particular, is not recommended for newborns. Pediatricians advise that sleep training should not begin until a baby has reached at least 12 weeks of age and weighs at least 12 pounds. This is because, during the first 12-16 weeks of life, a baby's circadian rhythm is still maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb. Sleep training is more likely to be successful when started at 16 weeks of age or later.

Additionally, when considering the "full extinction" method or any other sleep-training technique, it is essential to trust your instincts and listen to your baby's needs. While the "full extinction" method may work for most babies, it may not be the best option for your baby. It is also important to be consistent and patient when using this method, as it will take time for your baby to master the skill of falling asleep on their own.

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Gentler approaches

While the "cry-it-out" method is a common approach to sleep training, it is not the only option. Pediatricians recommend against starting sleep training, including the cry-it-out method, until a baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs 12 pounds. During the first 12-16 weeks, a newborn's circadian rhythm is still maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb, resulting in disorganized sleep patterns that are not conducive to sleep training.

Camping Out

This method involves the parent sleeping next to the baby's crib without picking them up, nursing, or cuddling them. While this approach can be considered gentler, it may upset or confuse some babies, and it tends to take longer. In one study, these types of gentle interventions reduced the percentage of parents reporting sleep problems five months later by about 30%.

Parental Education

Educating parents about baby sleep patterns and routines can help improve sleep outcomes for both babies and parents. Learning about how babies sleep can help new parents establish good bedtime routines and understand their baby's sleep needs, leading to better sleep habits for the entire family.

Gradual Extinction or Controlled Crying

This method, popularized by Richard Ferber, involves putting a baby to bed when they are drowsy but still awake and then letting them cry for a short period before responding. The initial waiting time is typically around 5 minutes, and subsequent checks can be made in 5-minute increments. This approach allows the baby to gradually learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently.

Healthy Sleep Fundamentals

Even without formal sleep training, parents can promote healthy sleep habits in newborns from day one. This includes setting up a sleep-conducive environment with blackout shades, a sound machine, and a comfortable room temperature between 68 to 72°F.

It is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training, and parents should use their best judgment to select the right method for their family. If one approach doesn't seem to be working, it is always possible to try a different method.

How Newborns Sleep Through the Night

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Frequently asked questions

It is generally not recommended to let a newborn cry to sleep. During the first 12-16 weeks of life, a newborn's circadian rhythm is maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb while learning the difference between night and day. Sleep training is not recommended during this period.

Pediatricians recommend starting sleep training when your baby has reached the age of 12 weeks and weighs at least 12 pounds. However, some sources suggest that it is best to wait until the baby is 16 weeks old, as their sleep patterns are more established by then.

The "cry-it-out" (CIO) method is a sleep training technique where you let your baby cry until they fall asleep. The idea is that babies will learn to soothe themselves to sleep without relying on a caregiver. This method can involve different approaches, such as "full extinction" or "graduated extinction."

It is important to meet all your baby's needs (feeding, clean diaper, etc.) before placing them down to sleep. If your baby is still crying, it could be a sign that they want to be left alone or that they need some extra comfort. You can try different soothing techniques, such as patting or rubbing their back, holding them, or using a gentle noise or motion to distract them.

Some parents view letting a baby cry to sleep as cruel or dangerous, fearing that it may raise an infant's stress levels and lead to future behavioral problems. However, recent studies suggest that short periods of crying can be permissible and even beneficial for babies' sleep and development. It is important to monitor your baby's crying and be aware of any signs of illness or distress.

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