Colin Snow
Sleep is a precious commodity for new parents, and it can be challenging to get enough shut-eye when you have a newborn. Newborns wake up frequently to feed and can take several months to settle into a routine, so it's no surprise that new parents often experience sleep deprivation. To combat this, some parents opt for shifts, where one parent sleeps while the other is on duty, or they sleep at the same time as their baby. Co-sleeping, or bed-sharing, is a growing trend among new parents, and while it can have benefits, it also carries risks, including an increased risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI) and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
Can I sleep while my newborn sleeps?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Newborn sleep duration | 14-19 hours a day |
| Newborn sleep frequency | Every 2-4 hours |
| Newborn sleep cycle | No sense of day and night |
| Parental sleep | Lie in the same room as the baby |
| Parental sleep | Shift system |
| Parental sleep | Co-sleeping |
| Parental sleep | Room-sharing |
| Parental sleep | Bed-sharing |
| Parental sleep | SIDS risk |
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What You'll Learn
Co-sleeping and the risks involved
Co-sleeping, or bed-sharing, is a common practice, with some cultures even considering it cruel to separate a mother and baby at night. Bed-sharing is a tradition in at least 40% of documented cultures, and anthropologists suggest that homo sapien mothers and newborns have been sleeping together for over 200,000 years.
However, co-sleeping is associated with an increased risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI), including sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and fatal sleep accidents. There are several factors that can increase the risk of SIDS and other dangers when co-sleeping:
- Smoking: Exposure to second-hand and third-hand smoke harms babies, and adult smoking increases the risk of SUDI.
- Alcohol and drug use: Research has found that a baby is 18 times more likely to die of SIDS when sleeping next to a parent who has been drinking.
- Premature or low birth weight infants: Infants who are born before 37 weeks of pregnancy or who have a low birth weight are more vulnerable to SIDS and accidental injury from bed-sharing.
- Breastfeeding: Babies who aren't breastfed have an increased risk of SIDS, as breastfeeding keeps babies and mothers in a lighter stage of sleep, promoting greater awareness of each other.
- Sleeping environment: Co-sleeping on a soft surface, such as a sofa, increases the risk of SIDS and accidental injury. It is recommended that infants always be placed on their back on a firm, flat, and level surface, in a space that is clear of any items that could obstruct breathing or create a strangulation risk, such as pillows, blankets, or jewellery.
To reduce the risks associated with co-sleeping, it is important to create a safe sleep environment for your baby. This includes ensuring your baby can breathe easily, sleeping them on their back, and providing a firm, flat, and level surface free from hazards. It is also recommended that you do not co-sleep if you or your partner smoke, use alcohol or other drugs, or if your baby was born prematurely or with a low birth weight.
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How to get quality rest as a new parent
Newborns follow their own schedule and have no sense of day and night, waking up frequently to feed. This can make it difficult for new parents to get a good night's rest.
Napping when the baby naps
Sleeping while the baby sleeps can be challenging due to internal body clocks or other children in the house, but it's a good idea to try and get some rest when you can. Newborns take frequent naps lasting anywhere from 2 to 4 hours, for a total of 16 to 18 hours of sleep each day.
Shifts and sharing responsibilities
Some new parents take shifts to ensure one parent is always alert and the other can get uninterrupted sleep. This can be especially helpful for breastfeeding mothers, as the other parent can take care of burping, changing, and swaddling the baby.
Room-sharing without bed-sharing
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing. Keeping the baby's crib, portable crib, play yard, or bassinet in the same room as the parents helps with feeding, comforting, and monitoring at night.
Safe co-sleeping practices
While bed-sharing is not recommended due to the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related dangers, some parents choose to do so. If you plan to co-sleep, it's essential to follow safe sleeping practices, such as placing the baby on their back, away from the edge of the bed, and ensuring their face and head are uncovered.
Accepting help from others
Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends or family members. They can assist with tasks such as grocery shopping, household chores, or even holding the baby while you catch up on sleep.
Good sleep hygiene
Practicing good sleep hygiene can improve the quality of your rest. This includes avoiding caffeine and electronics before bed, as they can interfere with your sleep cycle and total sleep time.
Helping babies self-soothe
Babies eventually need to learn how to fall asleep on their own. Giving them time to comfort themselves and fall back asleep can establish good sleeping habits, which will also help parents get a good night's rest.
Knowing your baby's noises
You'll be surprised how alert you can become to your baby's cries or mumbles, even when sleeping. Take time to learn your baby's unique noises, and you'll become very aware, very quickly, of any unusual sounds.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your sleep as a new parent. As Johns Hopkins sleep specialist Grace W. Pien, M.D., M.S.C.E., advises, "If you’re getting enough sleep, you’re going to be better able to fulfill your new responsibilities of taking care of the baby. You’ll be more patient and more likely to feel good about parenting."
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How to develop healthy sleep habits for your newborn
Developing healthy sleep habits for your newborn is crucial, and it's equally important for new parents to get sufficient rest. Here are some strategies to achieve both:
Understand Newborn Sleep Patterns
Newborns typically sleep around the clock, waking up frequently to feed every 2-4 hours, regardless of whether it's day or night. They gradually develop a sense of day and night over a few weeks or months. During this period, you can expect to settle into a more consistent routine.
Create a Safe Sleep Environment
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing. This means placing your baby's crib or bassinet in your bedroom, allowing for easier feeding, comforting, and monitoring. Ensure that your baby always sleeps on their back, on a firm, flat, and level surface, free from any loose items that could cause suffocation or strangulation.
Encourage Self-Soothing
Babies need to learn how to fall asleep independently. Avoid rocking your baby to sleep every night, as it can become a habit. Instead, put your baby down when they're drowsy, and give them the opportunity to self-soothe if they fuss. This will help establish good sleeping habits and give you more rest as a parent.
Optimize Your Own Sleep
As a new parent, catching enough z's can be challenging. Try to sleep when your baby sleeps, even if it's during the day. If you're worried about not hearing your baby, rest assured that your subconscious will alert you to their cries, even while you sleep. You can also take shifts with your partner, ensuring one of you is always alert while the other rests.
Additional Tips
- Avoid caffeine and electronics before bed to improve your sleep quality.
- Ask for help from friends and family with tasks like grocery shopping or holding the baby while you nap.
- If you're breastfeeding, consider pumping so your partner can help with bottle-feeding, giving you more time to rest.
- Keep things calm and quiet during middle-of-the-night feedings and diaper changes.
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The benefits of co-sleeping
For most of human history, parents have slept close to their babies for safety, protection, and the ease of breastfeeding and sleeping. While co-sleeping has fallen out of fashion in Western societies, it has many benefits for both the baby and the parents.
Firstly, co-sleeping is beneficial for breastfeeding. In a study of 870 women, researchers found that those who co-slept had stronger and longer breastfeeding patterns. Co-sleeping makes nighttime feedings more convenient, as the baby is in close proximity to the mother, allowing for fewer barriers to feeding.
Secondly, co-sleeping is good for the baby's development. Babies who co-sleep spend almost 100% of their sleep facing their mother, and staying close to the adult's body helps the baby maintain a stable body temperature. Physical contact through co-sleeping helps babies "breathe more regularly, use energy more efficiently, grow faster, and experience less stress." Co-sleeping also promotes REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, which is important for synaptogenesis, the rapid growth of connections between neurons, in newborns.
Thirdly, co-sleeping allows both adults and babies to sleep longer overall. This is because caregivers don't have to get out of bed to feed the baby, and babies don't have to call out, wait for help, and settle back down. This longer sleep can have positive implications for parent-child interactions during the daytime, as parents will be more well-rested and better able to fulfill their new responsibilities.
Finally, co-sleeping can be safer for the baby. In cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, incidents of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are far lower or even unheard of. When adults and babies sleep together, they sleep more lightly and rouse more often, creating more opportunities for caregivers to check on their babies.
There are several ways to co-sleep, including the family bed arrangement, the sidecar arrangement, and room sharing. Each method has its own benefits and drawbacks, so it is important for parents to understand the various options and make an informed decision about what is best for their family.
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How to manage stress and prevent depression
Sleep deprivation is a common issue for new parents, and it can have a significant impact on your overall well-being and mental health. It can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even trigger postpartum depression. Here are some tips to help you manage stress and prevent depression by prioritizing sleep and finding ways to rest when you have a newborn:
Manage Sleep Deprivation
- Accept that sleep deprivation is normal: Understand that sleep deprivation is a common challenge for new parents and that it won't last forever. This awareness can help you be kinder to yourself and prioritize rest when you can.
- Prioritize your sleep: Make sleep a non-negotiable aspect of your routine. When your baby sleeps, try to sleep as well, even if it's during the day. Remember that this period of fragmented sleep is temporary, and getting enough rest is crucial for your physical and mental health.
- Take turns with your partner: If you have a partner, take turns getting up when the baby wakes at night. This ensures that both of you get adequate rest and share the responsibility.
- Ask for help: Don't hesitate to ask your partner, friends, or family for help with childcare or household tasks. If you're formula feeding, encourage your partner to share the feeds. If you're breastfeeding, they can assist with early morning diaper changes or feeding expressed breast milk so you can get more sleep.
- Create a safe sleep environment: Follow recommendations for a safe sleep environment for your baby. Place them on their back to sleep, use a firm, flat sleep surface, and keep the area free from hazards like cords, ribbons, or sharp objects. Room-sharing is recommended without bed-sharing to reduce the risk of SIDS.
- Use white noise: If you're room-sharing, consider using a white noise machine to block out mild noises and only wake up when your baby truly needs you.
- Adjust the baby monitor: If your baby is sleeping in their own room, turn down the monitor's volume to only alert you to loud, wakeful sounds.
- Nurture independent sleep: Encourage your baby to fall asleep independently. While nursing or rocking them to sleep can be soothing, weaning them from these strategies will teach them to self-soothe and not rely on external factors to fall asleep.
- Understand your baby's sleep needs: Every baby is unique, and their sleep patterns will vary. Understand that your baby's sleep pattern may not align with yours, and be prepared to adapt to their changing sleep needs as they grow.
Additional Tips for Rest and Stress Management:
- Eat a balanced diet: Proper nutrition boosts your metabolism and energy levels. Start your day with a nutrient-rich breakfast, and prioritize protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains throughout the day.
- Stay hydrated: Dehydration can make you feel tired. Drink plenty of water, and avoid excessive caffeine, which can contribute to fatigue.
- Engage in self-care: Take care of yourself by finding creative ways to rest and recharge. Prioritize sleep over non-essential tasks, visitors, or other commitments during this time.
- Seek professional help: If you experience symptoms of perinatal mood or anxiety disorders, such as persistent sleep troubles, mood swings, or overwhelming worry, speak to your doctor or a mental health professional. They can provide support and guidance to help you manage and improve your well-being.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, you can sleep while your newborn sleeps. Newborns take frequent naps lasting anywhere from 2 to 4 hours, for a total of 14 to 18 hours of sleep each day. It is important for new parents to get enough sleep to be able to take care of their newborn.
You can try to sleep at the same time as your newborn. You can also try to sleep in the same room as your newborn so that you can hear them cry or mumble when they need you.
You can ask friends or family members for help with tasks such as grocery shopping, cleaning, or holding the baby while you nap. You can also practice good sleep hygiene by avoiding caffeine and electronics before bed.
Co-sleeping, or sleeping on the same surface as your newborn, can be unsafe if done on a couch or chair as it may obstruct the baby's airways and lead to suffocation. However, co-sleeping can have benefits such as improved breastfeeding and bonding. If you choose to co-sleep, it is important to take precautions such as placing your baby on their back, away from the edge of the bed, and ensuring their face and head are uncovered.
To create a safe sleep environment for your newborn, follow recommendations such as always placing your baby on their back to sleep and avoiding the use of sleep positioners, weighted blankets, or swaddles. Make sure that all sleep products have been approved by the relevant safety commissions and meet federal safety standards.
