Miya Pearson
Sharing a bed with a partner can impact your sleep quality and mental health. A study by Henning Johannes Drews, a postdoctoral researcher at the Center for Integrative Psychiatry in Germany, found that couples tend to enter sleep stages at roughly the same time and experience longer periods of uninterrupted REM sleep when sleeping together. This could be due to biological and psychological factors, such as temperature regulation and feeling more secure with a partner. However, having different sleep patterns from your partner can be challenging and impact your relationship. To optimize sleep as a couple, consider strategies such as optimizing your bedroom, using headphones, installing nightlights, finding a mattress that suits both of you, or even sleeping in separate beds. Additionally, the Sleep Cycle app can help track sleep for two people sharing a bed by utilizing microphone motion detection and Wi-Fi connectivity between devices.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Sleep Cycle app | Uses microphone motion detection and sound decay to differentiate between sounds generated by you and your partner |
| If both partners use Sleep Cycle, the devices will automatically connect over Wi-Fi and detect where in the bed a sound originates from | |
| General advice for partners with different sleep routines | Create a sleep-friendly bedroom by implementing strategies such as designated reading areas, blackout curtains, and noise-blocking techniques |
| Consider sleeping separately if you have very different sleep patterns | |
| Try to meet halfway if your bedtimes differ by an hour or so, and shift your bedtime by 10 minutes over the course of a week | |
| Install a nightlight in your room to avoid turning on the lights when one person is going to bed | |
| Get a mattress that works for both of you, or consider separate mattresses for optimal comfort and individualized support |
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What You'll Learn
Sleep Cycle's microphone motion detection
Sleep Cycle has two motion detection modes: microphone or accelerometer. The microphone setting is the recommended option, as it is more powerful and accurate than the accelerometer. The built-in microphone in your phone or smartwatch analyses your movements as you sleep, and you don't need to have your phone in bed with you. It can be placed on a nightstand or a similar surface. The microphone setting can also detect snoring and other sounds that impact your sleep quality, giving you a comprehensive picture of your overall sleep health.
To use the microphone setting, keep the Sleep Cycle app running in the foreground with the device unlocked. It is important to place your phone correctly. For iPhones 8 and later versions, the phone can be placed facing up. Do not place your phone underneath a pillow or thick mattress, as it can become warm while charging. If you feel uncomfortable having your phone close to your head, you may set it to Flight Mode.
The accelerometer setting, on the other hand, uses the phone's inbound accelerometer to detect your movement patterns when you sleep, helping to determine whether you are in deep or light sleep. This setting requires you to have your phone in bed with you. The Apple Watch can also be used for accelerometer-based motion detection.
Sleep Cycle can still track your sleep accurately and effectively when sharing a bed with a partner. However, it can be more challenging if the other person moves around a lot or makes loud noises. The app can help identify if your sleep is disrupted by your partner's movements or other factors such as a late-night meal or coffee after 5 pm.
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Syncing sleep schedules
Sharing a bed with a partner is often romanticized as a blissful experience, but it can also come with challenges. Different sleep schedules can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction in a relationship. However, syncing sleep schedules with a partner can improve overall sleep quality and relationship satisfaction. Here are some strategies to achieve that:
Track Sleep Patterns
The first step is for each person to track their sleeping patterns and identify areas of misalignment. This can be done using sleep tracking apps or sleep lab investigations. Once the areas of discrepancy are identified, the couple can work on making adjustments.
Gradual Adjustments
It is important to make gradual adjustments to sleep schedules. Attempting to shift your sleep schedule by more than an hour or two is unrealistic and biologically challenging. Instead, make small shifts in bedtime, such as 10- or 15-minute increments over a series of days or a week. This gradual approach allows both partners to adapt to the new sleep schedule more easily.
Wind Down Together
Create a bedtime routine that allows both partners to wind down together. This could include activities such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or meditation. Going through similar bedtime rituals at the same time helps create a calming atmosphere and promotes emotional connection.
Optimize Your Bedroom
Make your bedroom sleep-friendly and accommodating to both partners' sleep preferences. Consider strategies such as blackout curtains, noise-blocking techniques, and designated reading areas. If temperature differences or motion transfer are an issue, use appropriate bedding and choose a mattress that reduces motion transfer.
Address Sleep Disorders
As you work on syncing your sleep schedules, one or both partners may discover underlying sleep disorders or issues such as chronic snoring, sleep apnea, or restless leg syndrome. Address these issues by seeking professional help and exploring treatment options.
Communicate and Be Flexible
Remember, achieving sleep synchronization takes time and patience. By working together and making gradual adjustments, you and your partner can improve your sleep quality and enhance your relationship.
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Sleep-friendly bedrooms
Creating a sleep-friendly bedroom can significantly improve your sleep quality and duration, which in turn can positively impact your health. Here are some tips to transform your bedroom into a sleep-friendly environment:
Darkness
Keep your bedroom as dark as possible. Light slows the production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Lower the shades, use blackout curtains, and dim the lights as bedtime approaches. Also, reduce your exposure to blue light by turning off electronic devices with screens, such as TVs, computers, and smartphones. Set your phone to "nighttime" settings, and avoid using e-readers before bed.
Temperature
The ideal bedroom temperature for sleeping is generally considered to be in the lower to mid-60s Fahrenheit (18-20 degrees Celsius). Keeping your bedroom cool helps facilitate the natural decrease in body temperature that promotes sleep. Experiment with different temperature settings to find your optimal sleep temperature. If you feel too cold, add extra layers to your bedding, and if you're too warm, remove a layer or wear lighter bedclothes.
Noise
Minimize noise in the bedroom to increase the likelihood of deep sleep and reduce the chance of waking up during the night. Turn off all outside sounds, including the TV, as sudden volume changes can disrupt sleep. Consider using a white noise machine or earplugs to block or mask outside noises. Position your bed away from shared walls or street-facing windows to reduce noise levels.
Comfort
Set up your bed in a way that is most comfortable for you. Choose bedding, mattresses, sheets, and pillows that suit your preferences and sleep position. For example, if you tend to \"run hot\" when sleeping, choose sheets that promote breathability. Ensure your bedroom is a clutter-free space, as clutter can cause anxiety and remind you of unfinished tasks. Stick to cool-toned colours in your bedroom, as they promote relaxation and a calm mind.
Scents
Use diffusers with essential oils such as lavender or neroli to create a calming atmosphere and prepare your mind and body for rest. Avoid air fresheners that may emit irritating chemicals.
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Sleeping separately
While some couples find that sharing a bed enhances their emotional connection and intimacy, others may find that sleeping separately improves their relationship. Sleeping separately can help partners avoid common sleep disturbances, leading to improved sleep quality and a reduction in relationship tension caused by sleep deprivation.
If you and your partner are considering a sleep divorce, it is important to communicate openly and honestly about the arrangement. Ask yourselves questions like: Does one of us feel rejected by this arrangement? Have we started living more like flatmates than a couple? Are there any unresolved issues in our relationship that we need to address? By addressing these questions, you can ensure that the decision to sleep separately is a healthy choice for your relationship and that it does not stem from or contribute to other underlying problems.
To make a sleep divorce effective, experts recommend personalizing your separate sleeping spaces to make them feel like your own. This can include choosing your preferred mattresses, bedding, and decor to create a calm, quiet, and peaceful environment that promotes restorative sleep.
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Optimising sleep quality
- Optimise your bedroom environment: Make changes to your bedroom to accommodate both partners' sleep preferences. This can include designated reading areas, blackout curtains, noise-blocking techniques, and other elements that cater to individual sleep needs.
- Consider separate mattresses or bedrooms: If you and your partner have very different sleep needs, it might be worth investing in personalised mattress solutions or even considering sleeping in separate bedrooms. This may seem unconventional, but it can be a viable solution to ensure both individuals get a good night's rest.
- Sync your sleep schedules: If your bedtimes differ by an hour or so, try to meet halfway and gradually shift your sleep schedules to align more closely. Over the course of a week, adjust your bedtime by 10 minutes each night until you are both going to bed at a similar time.
- Create a relaxing environment: A partner might help to create a safe and relaxing environment, promoting REM sleep. However, if one partner moves a lot during sleep, it could disrupt the other's sleep. Consider a larger bed or separate mattresses to optimise comfort and reduce disruptions.
- Use sleep-tracking technology: Consider using sleep-tracking apps or devices that can help monitor and optimise your sleep. Some apps, like Sleep Cycle, can track the sleep of two people in the same bed by detecting the origin of sounds and connecting over Wi-Fi.
- Compromise and communicate: Bedtime isn't always just about cuddles and kisses; it's often an exercise in patience and compromise. Prioritise restful sleep for both individuals and make sure to allocate quality time for each other while you are awake to maintain a strong emotional connection.
By implementing these strategies, you can optimise your sleep quality even when sharing a bed with a partner. It is all about finding what works best for both of you and ensuring you both get the restful sleep you need.
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Frequently asked questions
Sleep Cycle uses microphone motion detection to track sleep. Sound decays exponentially with distance, so sounds generated by your partner will be much quieter than those you make. If both partners use Sleep Cycle, the devices will connect over Wi-Fi and detect where in the bed a sound originates from, providing an accurate sleep analysis for both.
Studies have shown that couples tend to sync up when they sleep, entering sleep stages at roughly the same time. When sleeping together, couples had 5.4 REM disruptions per night, compared to 8.5 when sleeping apart. This could be due to biology, as a partner may help regulate body temperature, or psychology, as a partner may create a sense of security.
Consider implementing strategies such as designated reading areas, blackout curtains, noise-blocking techniques, or separate mattresses to accommodate both partners' sleep preferences. If your bedtimes differ by an hour or so, you might try to meet halfway and shift your bedtime by 10 minutes over the course of a week.
