Evie Summers
Sleep is essential for a baby's physical and cognitive development, especially during the first few months. Newborns need an environment that mimics the snugness of the womb, which is why they often fall asleep when held. However, this can prevent parents from getting the sleep they need. By making simple changes to a baby's daily routine, parents can help their newborns sleep without being held. This involves creating a soothing bedtime routine, using sleep cues, and giving babies the tools to self-soothe.
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What You'll Learn
Establish a bedtime routine
Establishing a bedtime routine for your newborn is an important step towards helping them sleep without being held. Here are some tips to create a soothing bedtime routine:
Firstly, it is important to understand your baby's sleep patterns and cues. Observe and make note of the time intervals between their naps and the duration of their sleep. This will help you identify when they are getting tired, which is crucial for establishing a bedtime routine. For instance, the "nap gap" at one month of age is around 45 minutes, increasing by 15 minutes each month.
Once you have an idea of their sleep patterns, you can start creating a soothing bedtime routine. This should begin about an hour before their bedtime. A warm bath, a gentle massage, and a story in a dimly lit room can help signal to your baby that it is time to wind down and prepare for sleep. You can also introduce other sleep cues, such as a bedtime 'sign-off' phrase or a special comforter like a cuddly toy or muslin cloth (for babies over six months old).
Additionally, ensuring your baby is fed, burped, and kept upright for a while after feeding can help prevent discomfort and improve their sleep. If your baby suffers from reflux, using a laid-back or cradle position during feeding and keeping them upright for at least 15 minutes afterward can help ease the pressure in their stomach.
Swaddling is another effective technique to soothe newborns and mimic the snug feeling of being in the womb. You can also use a sleep sack, which provides a similar effect while allowing for safer movement during the night. However, it is important to note that weighted sleepwear is not recommended, as it may restrict your baby's breathing and movement.
Consistency is key. By consistently following the same bedtime routine and using the same sleep cues, your baby will gradually learn that nighttime is for sleeping. Remember, this process takes time, and it is important to be patient and ask for help when needed.
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Create a soothing sleep environment
Creating a soothing sleep environment for your newborn is essential to help them sleep without being held. Here are some tips to achieve this:
Firstly, it is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine. This can be started when your baby is around three months old, but definitely by six months. During the hour before your baby's bedtime, create a soothing atmosphere by giving them a warm bath, followed by a gentle massage. Reading a story in a dimly lit room can also signal to your baby that it's time to relax and prepare for sleep. Maintaining a consistent routine will help your baby recognize sleep cues and eventually learn to soothe themselves.
Secondly, ensure that your baby's sleep environment is comfortable and secure. Mimic the warm and snug environment of the womb by using swaddles or sleep sacks. Swaddling provides the tight and cozy feeling that newborns find soothing, and it can help them feel secure and comforted. You can also introduce age-appropriate comforters, such as a soft toy or a muslin cloth, to provide extra reassurance. Make sure the room is dark and at a comfortable temperature to avoid disturbing your baby's sleep.
Additionally, consider using white noise or soft music to create a calming atmosphere. White noise can help block out sudden sounds that might startle your baby and disrupt their sleep. Soft music or lullabies can also be a part of your bedtime routine, signaling to your baby that it's time to wind down.
It's also important to note that your baby's sleep environment should be safe. For the first six months, it is recommended that your baby sleeps in the same room as you, reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Ensure that your baby sleeps on their back and avoid using weighted sleep sacks or sleepwear, as these can restrict their movement and breathing.
By creating a soothing and safe sleep environment, your newborn will be better equipped to sleep without being held, allowing both you and your baby to get the restful sleep you need.
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Swaddling and sleep sacks
Swaddling is the act of tightly wrapping your baby in a blanket or a swaddle. It prevents their arms from startling them awake and gives them the sensation of being held tight, mimicking the environment of the womb. Swaddling can help calm a crying baby and make them feel secure. However, it is recommended to stop swaddling by 12 weeks as it can become a sleep prop and potentially hinder leg movement and hip development if wrapped too tightly.
Sleep sacks, on the other hand, are similar to sleeping bags that are attached to your child. They allow freedom of movement for the arms and legs while providing warmth and security. Sleep sacks are designed to keep your baby comfortably warm throughout the night and ensure they remain on their back, reducing the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). They also support the natural development of your baby's mobility, allowing them to roll over safely. Sleep sacks are typically available in various sizes for different age groups, with some brands offering sacks for babies, toddlers, and older children.
The decision to use swaddling or sleep sacks depends on personal preference and your baby's needs. Some parents choose to initially swaddle their newborns, transitioning to sleep sacks around 8 weeks or when the baby starts to roll over. Others prefer to use sleep sacks from the start, as they can be used from birth and provide a sense of security for babies who move around a lot. The weighted sleep sack from Dreamland Baby, for example, is designed to make your baby feel secure and calm, helping them fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.
It is important to note that, while swaddling and sleep sacks can be helpful tools, the goal of sleep training is to eventually have your baby fall asleep independently. This usually happens when they are between 4 to 6 months old and are ready to self-soothe.
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Self-soothing techniques
Teaching your baby to self-soothe is a process that will help them throughout their life. It is a skill as important as smiling, crawling, or walking. When your baby learns to self-soothe, they can calm themselves when they're overstimulated or irritable, and they can fall asleep on their own without much help from you.
Environment
Firstly, ensure your baby's environment is optimised for sleep. Newborns are more likely to sleep when swaddled, as it mimics what life was like inside the womb. A weighted sleep sack can also be used to help your baby feel secure and calm. Keep the room at a comfortable temperature, as being too hot or too cold can disturb their sleep.
Routine
Babies love routine. Try to put your baby to bed at the same time every day and stick to a similar bedtime routine. This will keep them from becoming overtired, which makes self-soothing more difficult. During the day, make time for play and get your baby to be physical—lots of crawling, cruising, bouncing, and laughing. A tired baby will sleep much more soundly.
Sleep training
When your baby is between 4-6 months old, they are likely ready to self-soothe and sleep for longer stretches of time without being held. Sleep training gives your baby the tools to learn how to self-soothe, which means falling asleep and falling back asleep on their own.
Soothing techniques
If your baby is past the newborn stage but still cries when you put them down, check that their basic needs have been met. Your baby won't be able to self-soothe if they are hungry, thirsty, too hot or cold, have a wet diaper, or need to be burped. Once you've ruled out these issues, you can try letting your baby fuss for a few minutes to see if they can settle themselves. If their crying continues, you can go into the room, but keep the lights off and don't pick them up or play with them. You can give them a gentle pat on the tummy and tell them to go back to sleep, and if they use a pacifier, you can give it to them. Keep your tone soothing and gentle, and be patient—it can take several weeks for your baby to learn to self-soothe.
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Sleep training methods
Sleep training is about giving your baby the tools to learn how to self-soothe and fall back asleep on their own. This will help them sleep longer and better, and give you a break as well.
It is important to remember that every baby is different and has different sleep patterns. It is unlikely that your baby's sleep pattern will fit in with your need for sleep.
- Swaddling: Swaddling mimics the warm, snug feeling of being in the womb, which is why babies find it soothing. You can use a weighted swaddle sack to help your baby sleep without being held.
- Sleep sacks: Sleep sacks provide a similar effect to swaddling but allow babies to move around safely at night. However, it is important to note that experts advise against using weighted sleep sacks as they can inhibit your child's ability to breathe and entrap them in dangerous positions.
- Pacifiers: Sucking has a calming effect on babies, so giving them a pacifier can help them sleep without being held.
- Consistent bedtime routine: A good, consistent bedtime routine is essential for getting your baby to sleep well. This can include a warm bath, a massage, and reading a story in a dimly lit room.
- Nap gap: Knowing how long your baby can be happily awake is crucial. After this interval, they will get an injection of adrenaline and cortisol, making them feel wide awake.
- Individual signs of sleep readiness: Being alert to your baby's individual signs of sleep readiness can help you avoid the issue of an overtired baby who finds it hard to fall asleep.
- Contact napping: If your baby is struggling to sleep without being held, you can try contact napping, such as using a baby carrier or sling, or a pushchair/buggy/pram. This still provides the benefit of closeness or soothing movement while being more sustainable for you.
- Self-soothing: Putting your baby down when they are drowsy but still awake will help them learn to fall asleep on their own. It can take several weeks for your baby to get the hang of putting themselves back to sleep, so it's important to be patient and consistent.
- Room environment: Ensure the room is dark and at a comfortable temperature. A fan of white noise can also help your baby sleep.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to remember that every baby is different and has different sleep patterns. Here are some general tips to help your newborn sleep without being held:
- Swaddling your baby can help them feel secure and snug, mimicking the environment of the womb.
- Use a sleep sack to provide a similar feeling to swaddling while allowing them to move around safely.
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine, including activities such as a warm bath, a massage, and reading a story in a dimly lit room.
- Ensure your baby is fed, burped, and kept in an upright position for at least 15 minutes after feeding to aid digestion and prevent discomfort.
- Create positive sleep cues, such as using a pillow spray, introducing a comforter, or establishing a bedtime 'sign-off' phrase.
- Encourage self-soothing by allowing your baby to fall asleep independently, without being rocked or fed to sleep.
- Be patient and persistent, as it may take several weeks for your baby to learn to self-soothe and sleep on their own.
Most babies are ready to start sleep training when they are between 4 and 6 months old. However, you can start establishing a consistent bedtime routine as early as 3 months and definitely by 6 months.
Newborns often prefer being held because it provides a warm, cozy, and secure environment, similar to what they experienced in the womb. They can also sense your heart rate and breathing patterns when held close, which helps to reduce their stress and ease them into sleep.
It is important to pay attention to your baby's sleep cues. Watch for signs such as fussiness, yawning, or eye rubbing. The "nap gap" is a helpful tool to estimate how long your baby can be happily awake before feeling tired. It is calculated as 45 minutes at one month of age, increasing by 15 minutes each month.
Caring for a newborn can be exhausting, and it's important to prioritize your own rest as well. Here are some tips:
- Take shifts with your partner or ask a family member or friend to help so you can get some uninterrupted sleep.
- Sleep when your baby sleeps, even if it's during the day.
- If you are breastfeeding, continue feeding until your baby is fully asleep, and then put them down gently.
- Get your baby used to sleeping through some noise so you don't have to maintain a silent house during the day.
