How To Respectfully Ask For Intimacy With Your Wife

Don't Say Sleeping With Your Wife

It's not uncommon for couples to experience a lack of sexual intimacy in their marriage. While it's often the man who is seen as the one with the higher sex drive, there are many instances where the woman is the one who wants more sex.

Whatever the case, a lack of sex in a marriage can lead to feelings of hurt, rejection, anger, and resentment. It can also lead to infidelity, with one or both partners seeking sexual gratification outside of the marriage.

If you're experiencing a lack of sex in your marriage, it's important to address the issue directly and honestly. Here are some possible reasons why your wife might not want to have sex with you:

- She doesn't feel physically attracted to you anymore. This could be due to changes in your appearance, hygiene, or lifestyle.

- She feels like you don't help enough with household chores and parenting responsibilities.

- You don't initiate sex or show interest in her sexually.

- You don't pay attention to her or make her feel desired.

- You don't support or respect her in public or private.

- You don't care about her interests or try to understand her needs and desires.

If you're struggling with a lack of sex in your marriage, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your wife. Try to understand her perspective and work together to find solutions. Seeking help from a marriage counselor or sex therapist can also be beneficial.

Remember, sex is an important part of a healthy marriage, and it's worth putting in the effort to improve your sexual intimacy.

Lack of physical attraction

Physical attraction is a key component of a healthy, long-term relationship. It is the initial spark that draws people closer and adds a layer of excitement and joy to a relationship. When there is a lack of physical attraction, it can lead to a drop in affection, a poor sex life, a lack of respect, and distance in the relationship.

Lack of Affection

Physical attraction often goes hand-hand with physical affection, such as holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. When there is a lack of physical attraction, these displays of affection may diminish or disappear altogether. This can create a sense of distance and emotional disconnect between partners.

Poor Sex Life

A relationship lacking physical attraction will likely result in little to no sexual intimacy. This can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction for both partners, as sex is an important aspect of a healthy relationship.

Lack of Respect

When there is no physical attraction, it can lead to a breakdown in respect for one another. Partners may no longer care about each other's feelings or value each other's opinions, creating a toxic dynamic in the relationship.

Distance

The absence of physical attraction can cause one or both partners to create emotional and physical distance. They may find ways to stay away from each other, both physically and emotionally, which can further damage the relationship.

It is important to address issues of physical attraction early on and not ignore them, as they can have a significant impact on the relationship's long-term health and sustainability. Seeking help from a relationship therapist or counselor can be beneficial in navigating these challenges and improving physical attraction and intimacy.

Lack of emotional connection

When a couple isn't having sex, it is a big deal. It means something is off. The longer you ignore this, the harder the punch will be when you are forced to deal with it. Every single time, the wife is shocked at how angry and hurt her husband feels because they aren't having sex. She admits knowing they weren't having sex but didn't realize just how much of a problem it was.

• You don't smell good: Women are super sensitive to smell, even more so at their most fertile times. So brush your teeth, shower before bed and in the morning, and you'll increase your likelihood of making non-malodorous love with your paramour.
• You don't act aggressive enough: Women like get up and go! They like energy! If they see you laying around watching TV, they do not want to jump on anything but the computer.
• You don't help with housework: Helping with housework frees your wife up to get relaxed and in a sexy mood.
• You don't ask deep questions: Every conversation is small talk, interspersed with rote entreaties for sex. If you want your wife to undress on purpose, for you, ask her some deep questions.
• You engage in frat house type behaviour: Here are some things that disgust women, especially the ones in couples counseling: burping, farting, grabbing their boobs out of nowhere, making scatological, misogynistic, or dirty jokes, and drinking till you throw up.
• You don't notice anything: If your wife changed her hair colour, lost 10 pounds, or started dressing up, and you didn't mention anything, she secretly begins to resent you. Try to do a body scan of your wife in the morning. If anything looks good, tell her so, using specific adjectives and nouns, like: "I really like that red shirt. I like that it's form-fitting."
• You are really negative: If people always call you a "devil's advocate," and your wife has ever said anything like, "I just shouldn't even tell you anything," then you can infer that your clever ability to find the crap side of any situation is actually not as charming as you think. Try to focus on the positives.
• You don't support her in public: Never make fun of your wife in public. Also, don't make fun of her in private. Unless she herself has gushed over how hysterically funny you are when you comment about her to other people, assume that she would rather you just don't make funny jokes about her messiness, lateness, tendency to yell at the kids, spending patterns, or anything else.
• You don't care what your wife is attracted to: You were running five times a week and wore nice clothes when you were dating, now you're 20 pounds overweight, wear clothes your wife hates, and you ask, "Do you like beards?" and grow one anyway when your wife says no. Where did women get this reputation as the deeper gender? Everyone likes to be physically attracted to their partner. Try this: ask your wife to give you a makeover, and see if you get some more action afterward. Especially if her makeover involves a diet and exercise regimen and you adhere to it.
• You don't actually ask your wife why she doesn't want to have sex: You've never had a sit-down discussion where you actually ask about the reasons for your wife's constant refusal. You just assume she's tired or being difficult or something, but you have no real clue. It could be one or many of the aforementioned nine reasons, or something entirely different, including just "monotogamy."

Lack of effort

A lack of effort in the relationship can be caused by a variety of factors, including:

• Not putting in the work to maintain physical attraction. This could include not taking care of personal hygiene, letting yourself go physically, or not making an effort to dress nicely.
• Not putting in the work to maintain emotional attraction. This could include not making an effort to be interesting, engaging, or fun to be around. It could also include not making an effort to connect emotionally, or not making your partner feel loved and appreciated.
• Not putting in the work to maintain a healthy relationship. This could include not helping with household chores, not spending quality time together, or not making an effort to resolve conflicts or problems in the relationship.

A lack of effort in the bedroom can be caused by a variety of factors, including:

• Not putting in the work to understand your partner's needs and desires. This could include not communicating about what you both want and need in the bedroom, or not making an effort to try new things or experiment.
• Not putting in the work to create a romantic atmosphere. This could include not making an effort to create a sexy or intimate environment, or not making an effort to set the mood with lighting, music, or other sensual stimuli.
• Not putting in the work to maintain your own sexual health and well-being. This could include not taking care of your physical health, not managing stress or anxiety, or not seeking help for sexual dysfunction or other issues that may be impacting your sex life.

Lack of hygiene

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires constant work and dedication. It is a union between two people who promise to love, support, and care for each other through thick and thin. However, even the strongest of marriages can be tested when one spouse neglects their personal hygiene. Lack of hygiene in a marriage can lead to a breakdown in intimacy, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction.

The impact of poor hygiene on a marriage

Personal hygiene is an important aspect of a healthy marriage. When one spouse neglects their personal hygiene, it can have a detrimental effect on the relationship. Poor hygiene can lead to a lack of physical intimacy and affection, as the other spouse may be reluctant to engage in close contact due to unpleasant body odour, bad breath, or unkempt appearance. This can create a sense of distance and disconnect between the couple, impacting their emotional and physical connection.

Additionally, poor hygiene can affect the overall dynamic of the marriage. The spouse with poor hygiene may become defensive or embarrassed when their partner tries to address the issue, leading to arguments and resentment. It can also impact social interactions as a couple, as the spouse with poor hygiene may be reluctant to participate in social activities or feel self-conscious in public settings.

Ways to address poor hygiene in a marriage

If you are struggling with your spouse's poor hygiene, there are several ways to address the issue:

• Communicate openly and respectfully: It is important to express your concerns about their hygiene in a kind and respectful manner. Avoid accusations or criticism, and focus on how their lack of hygiene affects you and the relationship.
• Offer support and understanding: Try to understand the underlying reasons for their poor hygiene. It could be due to depression, self-esteem issues, or simply a lack of awareness. Offer your support and help them develop better hygiene habits.
• Encourage self-care: Encourage your spouse to take care of themselves by developing a hygiene routine. This may include daily showering, brushing teeth twice a day, wearing clean clothes, and using deodorant.
• Seek professional help: If the issue persists or is linked to underlying mental health issues, consider seeking help from a therapist or counsellor. They can help address the root causes of the poor hygiene and improve your spouse's overall well-being.

Lack of communication

In the context of a marriage where the wife is no longer interested in having sex with her husband, a lack of communication can make the situation even more challenging. Without open and honest communication, it can be difficult for the husband to understand why his wife is no longer interested in sex and how he can address the issue. It can also lead to feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and resentment on the part of the husband.

To improve communication in a relationship, it is important to create a safe and non-judgmental space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or blame. It is also important to actively listen to each other and try to understand each other's perspectives. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationship issues can also be beneficial.

In the case of a sexless marriage, open and honest communication is crucial. The husband should express his feelings and needs in a respectful and non-accusatory manner. He should also be willing to listen to his wife's perspective and try to understand her reasons for not wanting to have sex. It is important to remember that a lack of sexual interest can be due to a variety of factors, including physical, emotional, or psychological issues.

Seeking help from a sex therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual issues within a relationship can also be beneficial. They can help the couple identify and address the underlying issues that are contributing to the lack of sexual intimacy.

Frequently asked questions