Sleep: A Necessary Evil, Not A Love Story

Falling in love can be exhilarating, but it can also mess with your sleep. When you're in that initial phase of a relationship, it's common to spend hours thinking about your partner, and this can often lead to a lack of sleep. While it's not unusual for sleep quality and times to be disrupted when you're in love, there is some research that suggests sleeping next to your partner can actually improve your sleep quality and help you fall asleep faster. So, while you may be losing sleep at the beginning of a relationship, once you're sharing a bed with your loved one, you might find your sleep improves.

Falling in love can reduce your sleep by an hour

Falling in love is a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. It can feel like a natural high, with intense passion and euphoria, especially when your love is reciprocated. But be warned, all you lovebirds out there: falling head over heels for someone can come at a cost—specifically, an hour less sleep!

When you're in the throes of new love, your brain is flooded with a cocktail of chemicals and hormones, including dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. This surge of feel-good hormones can leave you feeling exhilarated and energised, but it can also disrupt your sleep patterns. It's like being addicted to drugs—the more time you spend with your beloved, the more hooked you become, and the less you want to sleep.

Research backs this up. A study by Professor Serge Brand and colleagues from the University of Basel in Switzerland found that young people experiencing "early-stage intense romantic love" slept for an hour less than their single counterparts. And the more obsessed you are with your new partner, the less shut-eye you're likely to get. So, if you're lying awake at night thinking about your crush, you're not alone!

But why does falling in love affect our sleep so much? Well, it's all down to those hormones again. During the honeymoon phase, your body experiences an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, as well as testosterone in women and a decrease in men. This can leave you feeling hypomanic, with elevated mood, energy, and activity levels—not exactly conducive to a good night's rest.

However, it's not all bad news. While falling in love may reduce your sleep initially, it can also lead to better sleep quality in the long run. Sleeping next to someone you love can give you comfort and a sense of safety, reducing anxiety and improving sleep. The hormone oxytocin, which is released when you're in love, can also promote calmness and relaxation, further enhancing sleep quality. So, while you may lose an hour of sleep at first, as your relationship progresses, you may find yourself sleeping better than ever.

The scent of your partner can help you sleep better

It's true—the scent of your romantic partner can improve your quality of sleep. This is according to research from the University of British Columbia, which found that participants who slept with their partner's scent experienced better sleep quality, even when their partner was not physically present.

The study, which was published in the journal Psychological Science, involved 155 participants who were given two identical-looking t-shirts to use as pillowcases. One had been previously worn by their romantic partner, and the other had either been worn by a stranger or was clean. To capture body odour on the t-shirts, the participants' partners wore them for 24 hours, refraining from using deodorant and scented products, smoking, exercising, and eating certain foods. The t-shirts were then frozen to preserve their scent.

Each participant then spent two consecutive nights sleeping with each t-shirt, without knowing which was which. They completed a survey each morning about how well-rested they felt, and their sleep quality was also measured using an actigraphy sleep watch.

The results showed that participants reported feeling more well-rested on the nights when they believed they were sleeping with their partner's scent. Interestingly, the sleep watch data also indicated that objective sleep improved when participants were exposed to their partner's scent, regardless of their beliefs about the scent's origin.

The researchers suggested that the physical presence of a long-term romantic partner is associated with positive health outcomes, such as a sense of safety, calm, and relaxation, which can lead to better sleep. By signalling recent physical proximity, the scent of a partner may offer similar benefits.

So, if you're having trouble sleeping, try bringing your partner's scarf or shirt with you—it could be just what you need to get a good night's rest.

Intense passion and euphoria can cause a dopamine high

Dopamine is also associated with neurological and physiological functioning, including motor function, mood, and decision-making. It is involved in the brain's reward system, which is why we might seek out certain pleasurable activities. Dopamine reinforces these activities, making us want to repeat them. This can be a positive cycle, but it can also lead to addiction.

Romantic love, as well as components of the human sexual response cycle, are associated with euphoria. Euphoria is an intense feeling of well-being, happiness, and excitement. It can be induced by certain natural rewards and social activities, such as aerobic exercise, laughter, music, and dancing. It can also be caused by certain drugs, which can motivate their recreational use.

Dopamine can provide an intense feeling of reward, which is why people may seek out drugs like heroin or cocaine. This can lead to addiction, as the brain becomes accustomed to the dopamine rush and needs more of the substance to achieve the same high.

A responsive partner can reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality

A responsive partner can help to reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality, according to research. The study, which was published in the *Journal of Social and Personality Psychology*, found that people who feel their partner is responsive to their needs tend to sleep better. The research was conducted on a sample of 698 married or cohabiting adults aged 35 to 86.

The study's findings suggest that feeling cared for and understood by a partner can help to reduce anxiety and depression, which are common barriers to a good night's rest. In other words, having a responsive partner can create a sense of safety and security, which are essential for "restorative sleep".

Additionally, the study found that the positive effects of a responsive partner on sleep quality were mediated by lower anxiety and depression. This means that the reduction in anxiety and depression symptoms due to having a responsive partner ultimately led to improved sleep quality. The study controlled for factors such as emotional support provided by the partner, agreeableness, and demographic and health factors, and the results remained significant.

Furthermore, the effects of a responsive partner on sleep quality were found to be stronger for subjective sleep quality measures than for objective actigraphy-based sleep efficiency measures. This suggests that the presence of a responsive partner may impact how individuals perceive their sleep quality more than the actual sleep efficiency as measured by actigraphy.

The study has implications for therapy and intervention design, suggesting that enhancing perceived partner responsiveness may be a useful strategy for improving sleep quality and overall well-being. By creating a sense of safety and security, responsive partners can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep, contributing to better physical and mental health.

Love can make you lose your appetite

Falling in love can make you lose your appetite. Food becomes the last thing on your mind when you're planning the next time you see your partner. During the initial phase of a relationship, couples spend hours thinking about each other, and the feeling of being in love is often euphoric and all-consuming.

When you're in love, your brain is in a pleasure state similar to being high on drugs like cocaine. This is due to the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with natural reward systems. The brain regions rich in dopamine show heightened activity when people are in love. This cocktail of hormones, including cortisol, vasopressin, and oxytocin, leaves individuals in a hypomanic-like condition, which may reduce the need for sleep.

Research supports the idea that love can disrupt sleep patterns. Professor Serge Brand of the University of Basel in Switzerland studied young people in "early-stage intense romantic love" and found that they reported having shorter sleep than their not-in-love peers. Additionally, sleep was shortest for those most obsessively distracted by thoughts of their loved one. However, it's important to note that despite having shorter sleep, the quality of sleep was high.

The effects of love on sleep can be explained by the increase in certain hormones. Oxytocin, for example, contributes to a sense of calm and relaxation, which may benefit sleep. The scent of a romantic partner has also been found to improve sleep quality, even if individuals are not consciously aware of whose scent they are smelling.

While falling in love can disrupt sleep and appetite, it's important to note that these effects may not be long-lasting. As the relationship progresses, individuals may find a new balance and experience more stable sleep and eating patterns.

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