Sleepless Nights: Not Wanting The Day To End

Sleep is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle, but it can be difficult to get a good night's rest. Many people struggle with falling asleep or staying asleep, a condition known as insomnia. One reason for this could be a fear of the next day, or not wanting the current day to end. This can be caused by general anxiety, fear of failure, or depression. It is important to address this issue as lack of sleep can lead to fatigue and other health issues. Some ways to improve sleep quality include improving sleep hygiene, such as limiting screen time before bed, avoiding caffeine, and establishing a bedtime routine. Additionally, seeking professional help or therapy may be beneficial in managing sleep-related issues.

Sleep procrastination

This phenomenon is often driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time, with individuals in high-stress jobs that occupy most of their day being more susceptible to it. It is also more common in women, students, and "night owls" with evening chronotypes.

Smartphone use is a significant contributor to sleep procrastination, with individuals finding it challenging to stop using their phones and constantly getting distracted by them before bedtime. The blue light emitted by digital screens can further disrupt sleep.

To prevent sleep procrastination, it is recommended to develop a relaxing nightly routine that does not involve the use of electronic devices. Other suggestions include maintaining a consistent bedtime and wake-up time, avoiding stimulants such as caffeine and alcohol close to bedtime, and creating a comfortable and inviting bedroom environment conducive to sleep.

Stress and anxiety

• Physiological Effects: Stress and anxiety can cause elevated levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which can interfere with the body's ability to relax and prepare for sleep. This can result in difficulty falling asleep or maintaining sleep throughout the night.
• Cognitive Effects: Stress and anxiety can lead to intrusive thoughts, worries, and a sense of impending doom, making it challenging to calm the mind and fall asleep. This mental hyperarousal is a key factor in insomnia.
• Behavioral Effects: Individuals experiencing stress and anxiety may engage in behaviours that disrupt their sleep. For example, they may find it challenging to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, spend excessive time in bed while awake, or engage in stimulating activities close to bedtime.
• Sleep Disorders: Stress and anxiety can contribute to or worsen sleep disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea, and restless leg syndrome. These disorders can further disrupt sleep and impact overall sleep quality.
• Impact on Sleep Quality: Stress and anxiety can affect the quality of sleep, including the duration of each sleep stage. Individuals experiencing chronic stress may spend less time in deep sleep and experience disruptions during REM sleep, which is important for emotional regulation and memory consolidation.
• Bidirectional Relationship: The relationship between stress, anxiety, and sleep is bidirectional. Just as stress and anxiety can impact sleep, lack of sleep can also contribute to or worsen feelings of stress and anxiety. Sleep deprivation can increase irritability, confusion, and tension, further fuelling anxiety.
• Psychological Influences: Bedtime procrastination, or the need to delay sleep due to a perceived lack of control over daytime events, is associated with higher levels of stress. This can lead to shorter sleep duration, poorer sleep quality, and increased fatigue during the day.

To manage stress and anxiety-related sleep issues, it is essential to address the underlying stress and anxiety while also practising good sleep hygiene. This may include cognitive-behavioural therapy, relaxation techniques, stimulus control therapy, and lifestyle changes such as regular exercise and reduced caffeine intake.

Fear of failure

People with fear of failure may also have a fear of the unknown, not wanting the day to end because they are unsure of what tomorrow will bring. This can be especially true for those with general anxiety or those who have experienced trauma. The fear of failure can cause people to have high expectations of themselves and their achievements, leading to a sense of dread when they don't meet their own standards.

For some, the fear of failure and not wanting the day to end can be linked to clinical depression, as described by one person:

> "I used to do this. Heavily. For me, it was because I was very depressed, and I couldn’t stand the idea of another day."

This person's experience highlights how fear of failure and depression can be interconnected, with the former exacerbating the latter.

Another individual describes their experience with fear of failure and how it affects their sleep:

> "I know I have to hand it over to God, I like your 3 P approach. Thank you.

> [...] I have done CBT + on medication, it's all very helpful, but I still hang onto bedtime anxiety and procrastination. I know I have to hand it over to God, I like your 3 P approach. Thank you."

This person has tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and medication to manage their fear of failure and resulting sleep issues, but still experiences bedtime anxiety and procrastination. They find solace in the idea of embracing a higher power to help them cope.

Strategies to Manage Fear of Failure and Sleep Issues

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a common treatment approach for phobias and anxiety disorders, including fear of failure. It helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive ones. In the context of insomnia, CBT can help individuals let go of the fear that inadequate sleep will make them useless the next day. It can also help them recognise what contributes to their insomnia and develop strategies to manage it.

Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy is often used in conjunction with CBT. It involves gradually exposing individuals to their fear in a safe and controlled manner. For those with a fear of failure, this may involve setting small, achievable goals and gradually increasing the difficulty to build confidence.

Medication

While medication can be helpful in the short term for managing sleep issues, it is not a long-term solution and can lead to dependency. It is important to consult a healthcare professional before starting or stopping any medication.

Lifestyle Changes

Making lifestyle changes can also help improve sleep habits and reduce fear of failure-related insomnia. This includes avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and screens before bedtime, as well as establishing a relaxing bedtime routine. Regular exercise, meditation, and stress management techniques can also promote better sleep.

Support and Community

Seeking support from loved ones, support groups, or a higher power can provide comfort and help individuals feel less alone in their struggles.

Negative thought habits

Polarization or Dichotomous Thinking

This is when complex issues are oversimplified into black-or-white, yes-or-no, good-versus-bad matters. An example of harmful dichotomous thinking is the idea that "there is no second place", or that you must be the absolute best to be considered a success.

Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization is when you fixate on one negative detail or experience and assign it disproportionate significance in your life. For instance, a waiter who breaks a glass might exclaim, "I'm the most useless waiter to ever live!".

Jumping to Conclusions

This is when you jump to a negative conclusion about something, usually yourself. It can be extremely difficult to correct or change this belief.

Mental Filtering

When someone chooses to remember only the bad parts of a situation, they are engaging in mental filtering. An example is an athlete who forgets their many excellent plays and instead rants about one blown assignment.

Magnification or Catastrophizing

Magnification, or catastrophizing, is when you blow an issue out of proportion. An example is letting a bad taxi ride ruin an entire vacation.

Inability to Be Wrong

This is when the need to be right outweighs evidence, logic, and material reality. If you can never be incorrect, there is no space for growth.

Control Fallacies

A control fallacy can manifest in two ways. One is feeling powerless because you have no control over anything in your life. The other is feeling to blame because you have absolute control over everything in your life.

Fairness Fallacies

This is when you analyse situations in terms of how just or unjust they are, rather than what is helpful for your personal mental health.

Change Fallacies

This is when you assume or believe that someone or something will eventually change to suit your needs. This is essentially a matter of projecting your needs and desires onto the world around you.

Minimizing or Discounting

Not all negative thought patterns are centred on negative thoughts. Minimizing or discounting occurs when someone fails to appreciate the positive things in their life and instead ignores or marginalizes them.

Personalization and Self-Blame

When you take issues or details that have nothing to do with you and make them all about yourself, your feelings, or your role in matters, you are experiencing personalization. An example is a child blaming themselves for their parents' divorce.

Emotional Reasoning

When a person insists that something is factually true, even though their only evidence is their own feelings, they are engaging in emotional reasoning. Someone in the throes of emotional reasoning centres their reasoning around negative emotions rather than logic.

Unhelpful Thinking Patterns

Unhelpful thinking patterns differ in subtle ways but all involve distortions of reality and irrational ways of looking at situations and people.

Strategies to Address Negative Thought Habits

• Identify your negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with more realistic, positive ones
• Practice acceptance rather than trying to avoid or deny negative thoughts
• Learn to cope with feedback and criticism
• Use a diary to track your thoughts
• Practise mindfulness
• Schedule your negative thinking
• Replace the bad thoughts
• Love yourself
• Keep a journal
• Find the beauty in the world
• Be honest with yourself
• Take a break from the news and social media
• Exercise and meditate

Sleep disorders

Sleep is a complex biological process that is essential for maintaining physical and mental health, thinking, and daily functioning. Sleep disorders are conditions that disturb normal sleep patterns, and there are over 80 different types. Sleep disorders can be caused by various factors, including other health conditions, mental illnesses, and lifestyle choices.

One common sleep disorder is insomnia, characterised by the inability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Other major types of sleep disorders include sleep apnea, a breathing disorder where breathing stops for 10 seconds or more during sleep; restless leg syndrome (RLS), which causes tingling or prickly sensations in the legs along with a powerful urge to move them; hypersomnia, where people are unable to stay awake during the day; circadian rhythm disorders, which cause people to be unable to sleep and wake at the right times; and parasomnia, which involves acting in unusual ways while falling asleep, sleeping, or waking from sleep, such as walking, talking, or eating.

Mental illnesses, including depression and anxiety, can cause sleep disorders. In fact, insomnia is a common symptom of depression, with about three-quarters of depressed patients experiencing insomnia, and hypersomnia present in around 40% of young adults with depression. Sleep disorders can also be caused by other conditions such as heart disease, lung disease, nerve disorders, and pain. Additionally, certain lifestyle choices can contribute to sleep problems, including the consumption of caffeine and alcohol, irregular schedules such as working night shifts, and the use of electronic devices before bed.

Treating sleep disorders depends on the specific disorder but may include good sleep habits, lifestyle changes, cognitive behavioural therapy, relaxation techniques, and in some cases, medication.

Frequently asked questions