
Newborns often sleep in their parents' arms, as they find comfort in the closeness and security it provides. This period, known as the fourth trimester, is a crucial developmental stage for newborns as they adjust to life outside the womb. While it is natural for newborns to crave the creature comforts of the womb, parents may eventually want to encourage their baby to sleep independently. This can be challenging, as the baby has grown accustomed to falling asleep in their parents' arms. However, it is important to establish healthy sleep habits to set the foundation for better nights as the baby gets older.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Newborns sleeping in parents' arms | Very natural setting for newborns |
| Newborns feel most at ease in parents' arms | |
| Newborns are contact seekers | |
| Newborns have been held in-utero for 9 months | |
| Newborns crave the creature comforts of the womb | |
| Newborns may not learn the skills required to fall asleep on their own | |
| Newborns may wake between sleep cycles looking for the motion | |
| Newborns may experience more overnight wakings and short, broken naps | |
| Newborns may not get through a full feeding when the soothing, sucking sensory input causes them to fall asleep | |
| Newborns may be overtired and hungry | |
| Newborns may be ready for the next stage of independent sleep | |
| Newborns may be ready for a crib | |
| Newborns sleeping in their own arms | Can be prevented from rolling over |
| Can sleep longer and more peacefully | |
| Can learn to self-soothe | |
| Can sleep on their back to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) | |
| Can sleep in a cool room, ideally between 68-72°F (20-22°C) |
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What You'll Learn

It's a natural instinct for mothers to sleep with their babies
It's only natural for mothers to want to sleep with their babies in their arms. This is because newborns spent nine months in the womb, enjoying the cosy quarters and ambient sounds and surroundings. It's only natural for them to crave the creature comforts they became so accustomed to.
This period after birth is often called the fourth trimester, a developmental stage where some babies are just not ready to be separated from their mothers. It is a time to build a loving trust bond and connect with your baby on a deep level, which will transform into a wonderful relationship.
Babies may have evolved to sleep with their mothers, but they did not evolve to thrive in a modern bed, with thick mattresses and giant pillows. A baby sleeping in your arms can help to regulate their breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rate and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned.
However, if you allow a baby to sleep in your arms too much, they are less likely to learn the skills required to fall asleep on their own. This can cause the baby to wake between sleep cycles looking for the motion, leading to more overnight wakings and, often, short, broken naps. It is important to note that parents who drink or do drugs should not sleep with their babies because they could roll over onto their child.
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Babies may have evolved to sleep with their mothers
There is a growing body of research that suggests that babies may have evolved to sleep with their mothers. This idea is supported by several factors, including the biological and emotional needs of both mother and infant, the practice of breastfeeding, and the concept of exterogestation or the fourth trimester.
Firstly, human babies are born neurologically and physically immature compared to other species, making them highly dependent on their mothers for proximity, regulation, and breastfeeding for their growth and development, especially in the brain. This is further supported by the high carbohydrate and low-fat content of human breast milk, which requires frequent feeding. As a result, it is highly probable that infants slept near or on their mothers' bodies to be fed and nurtured throughout hominin evolution.
Secondly, the practice of bed-sharing is as old as the Homo sapien species itself, with anthropological evidence suggesting that bed-sharing has been universal across modern hunter-gatherer cultures and continues to be widespread in at least 40% of all documented cultures. This cultural continuity provides insight into the behaviours of our early ancestors, indicating that bed-sharing may be an evolved practice that maximises the benefits of maternal proximity for infant health and development.
Additionally, the concept of exterogestation or the fourth trimester recognises that human babies are born prematurely and complete their gestation externally, requiring the continued closeness and security of their mother's presence. This idea is reflected in the term "kangaroo care," which emphasises the importance of skin-to-skin contact between mother and infant.
Furthermore, there are biological and socio-emotional factors that draw breastfeeding mothers and infants together at night. Breastfeeding and mother-infant co-sleeping are inextricably linked, with breastfeeding acting as a "hidden regulator" that keeps mothers and infants in close proximity. Research has shown that bed-sharing facilitates breastfeeding, with a higher rate of continued breastfeeding among mothers who bed-share with their infants.
However, it is important to note that while co-sleeping may have evolutionary benefits, modern bed-sharing can also pose risks. Studies have found that bed-sharing substantially raises a baby's risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Therefore, while recognising the potential evolutionary basis for co-sleeping, it is crucial to prioritise safe sleeping practices and follow recommendations from paediatricians and health authorities.
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Babies can develop a habit of sleeping in your arms
It is natural for newborns to feel most at ease in your arms, especially in the first few months after birth. This is because newborns are adjusting to life outside the womb and crave the creature comforts they were accustomed to during the nine months in the womb. However, babies can develop a habit of sleeping in your arms if they get used to being rocked to sleep.
According to sleep expert Zentz, "Sleep is a skill—and how a baby learns to fall asleep is how they expect to fall asleep every time." So, if a baby has spent several months being rocked to sleep, they will expect to be rocked to sleep every time. This can lead to the baby becoming dependent on being held to fall asleep, which can cause them to wake up between sleep cycles looking for the same motion, resulting in more overnight wakings and shorter, broken naps.
To prevent this, parents can try to gradually transition their baby to sleeping independently. This may involve creating a conducive sleep environment by using blackout curtains to block out stimulating light and reduce noise, as well as maintaining a cool room temperature between 68-72°F (20-22°C). Additionally, parents can try to establish healthy sleep habits for their baby, such as consistent nap and bedtime routines, to promote better sleep as the baby gets older.
While it is important to encourage independent sleep, it is also crucial to embrace the early connection and bond with your newborn. This stage is fleeting, and many parents cherish the moments of holding their baby close. Slowing down and snuggling with your baby can help build a strong and loving relationship.
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The \arms up\ sleep position is known as the \Starfish\ position
The arrival of a newborn baby brings a lot of joy to the family. Holding your newborn in your arms is the ultimate reward after a long and exhausting pregnancy. It is only natural for newborns to crave the creature comforts they became accustomed to in the womb.
The "arms up" sleep position is officially known as the ""Starfish" position, where a baby sleeps on their back with their arms lifted upwards. This is a variation of the back-sleeping position recommended by pediatricians to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). The Starfish position is a natural part of a baby's development and can provide insights into their comfort and health.
There are several reasons why babies might adopt the Starfish position:
- Stabilization and prevention of rolling over: Sleeping with their arms up can stabilize babies and prevent them from rolling over. This is important for safe infant sleep practices in younger babies who cannot yet roll back by themselves.
- Promotes longer sleep: If the "arms up" position helps a baby feel more comfortable or secure, it might enhance their ability to sleep longer and more peacefully.
- Encourages independent sleep: Babies learning to self-soothe by finding comfortable positions independently might achieve better sleep patterns earlier.
- Regulating body temperature: Sleeping with their arms up can help regulate body temperature, prevent overheating, and further reduce the risk of SIDS.
- Reducing reflux: For babies who experience reflux, sleeping on their back with their arms up can help prevent stomach contents from flowing back up the esophagus.
While sleeping in the Starfish position is generally considered safe and comfortable for babies, some parents may be concerned about the potential for their baby to roll onto their stomach, which could increase the risk of SIDS. It is important for parents to observe their baby's sleeping position and make adjustments to ensure a safe and comfortable sleep environment.
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It's important to create a conducive sleep environment for newborns
It's completely natural for newborns to want to sleep in your arms, and many parents embrace this. This period is often referred to as the fourth trimester, a time when newborns are adjusting to life outside of the womb and crave the creature comforts they are used to.
However, sleeping in your arms can become a habit for newborns, and they may struggle to fall asleep independently. This can lead to more overnight wakings and shorter naps. It's important to create a conducive sleep environment for newborns to promote good sleep health and help them develop healthy sleep habits.
Factors such as light exposure, noise levels, and room temperature can impact a baby's sleep cycle. Darkness promotes the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone, helping babies feel sleepier. Consistent, soft noise can help to block out jarring sounds, and a cooler room, typically between 68-72°F (20-22°C), is ideal.
Using blackout curtains can help create an ideal sleep environment by blocking out stimulating light and reducing noise. Additionally, swaddling can give newborns a sense of security and comfort, helping them sleep better. It's important to pay attention to your baby's cues and ensure they don't overheat.
While it's natural for newborns to seek closeness and security by sleeping in your arms, it's also important to gradually encourage independent sleep. This can be done by putting them down to sleep while they're awake rather than allowing them to fall asleep in your arms.
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Frequently asked questions
While sleeping with a newborn in your arms may be a necessity in the early days, it is not recommended that you make it a habit. This is because your baby may become dependent on this and will be less likely to learn the skills required to fall asleep on their own.
Newborns like to sleep in their parents' arms because they are still adjusting to life outside the womb. They crave the creature comforts they were accustomed to for the nine months they were in the womb.
There is a risk that you might roll over onto your child, especially if you are drinking, doing drugs, or smoking. There is also a risk of suffocation if you sleep with your baby on a sofa.
The safest way to put your baby to sleep is on their back on a flat, firm, and waterproof mattress.




















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