Miya Pearson
Self-soothing is a social-emotional skill that enables children to regulate their emotions. It is a life skill that develops over time and is considered comforting by the individual. While newborns and young babies cannot self-soothe, babies can start to learn how to self-soothe around 4 months old, with some sources suggesting that they may be able to start learning from 3 months old. Self-soothing techniques include shaking their head, kicking their legs, thumping them against their mattress, and sucking their thumb.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Self-soothing techniques | Shaking their head, kicking their legs, thumping them against the mattress, playing with their hands, sucking their thumb or fingers, rocking their head, stroking their ears or nose, holding their hands together |
| Age when self-soothing is possible | Babies can self-soothe around 4 months old, but some sources say it can be between 3 to 4 months old |
| Sleep patterns | Babies sleep up to 16-17 hours a day but only for an hour or two at a time. By 3-6 months, they transition from short to longer sleep cycles and more non-REM sleep. |
| Sleep environment | Safe, familiar, quiet, dimly lit, smoke-free, on their back, on a firm, flat, and level surface, with no toys, blankets, or choking hazards |
| Bedtime routine | Consistent bedtime, calming activities, such as taking a bath, reading a story, singing a lullaby, feeding, and rocking or cuddling |
| Parental response | Give baby 1-2 minutes to settle, respond to cries quickly, comfort and help settle if crying continues or escalates |
| Sleep aids | Pacifier, soft baby-safe object like a small stuffed animal or a blanket |
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What You'll Learn
Babies typically can't self-soothe until they're at least 4 months old
However, by the time your baby is 3 to 6 months old, they're capable of sleeping for longer stretches and even sleeping through the night. This is a great opportunity to introduce self-settling techniques, particularly before the four-month sleep regression phase. You can start teaching your baby good sleep habits as early as a few weeks after they're born. Putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake can help them learn to associate falling asleep with being in bed alone, which can aid self-soothing.
To help your baby self-soothe, you can create a calming bedtime routine, set a consistent bedtime, and give them opportunities to figure out sleeping on their own. A nightly ritual that includes calm activities, such as taking a bath, reading a story, singing a lullaby, having a feed, and rocking or cuddling, lets your baby know it's time to sleep. It's also important to create a safe sleeping environment for your baby, ensuring they sleep on their back on a firm, flat, and level surface in a space that's clear, not too hot, and smoke-free.
Additionally, sleeping in their own space helps babies understand that bedtime is for sleeping, not playing or interacting. It gives them the chance to get comfortable with their environment, which is crucial for self-soothing. When your baby wakes up during the night, it's okay to wait a few minutes before going to them, as they might find a way to soothe themselves back to sleep. However, it's important to respond if the crying continues or escalates, as this may indicate a need that requires attention.
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A consistent bedtime routine can help babies self-soothe
Babies typically develop regular sleep cycles when they are between three and six months old, transitioning from short to longer sleep cycles and more non-REM sleep. At this stage, they may wake up and not be able to get back to sleep without assistance. However, babies who can self-soothe sleep for longer periods and have longer total sleep times at night.
A nightly ritual that includes calm activities, such as taking a bath, reading a story, singing a lullaby, having a feed, and rocking or cuddling, lets your baby know it's time to sleep. Putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake helps them practice falling asleep without you. This can help your baby settle at night and with self-soothing.
If your baby is used to falling asleep while breastfeeding or taking a bottle, try moving feeding to earlier in the bedtime routine. If your baby starts to drift off, stop feeding and finish the rest of the bedtime routine before putting them down in their crib. If your baby is still young, a pacifier can help with the self-soothing process. The white noise from a fan or a white noise machine can also be soothing for your baby and help them learn when it's time for sleep.
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Babies should sleep in a safe, separate space
A 3-month-old baby may be able to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. However, this is a skill that develops over time, and some babies will take longer than others to learn it. The key to helping a baby learn to settle themselves to sleep includes establishing a calming nightly routine, setting a consistent bedtime, and giving them the opportunity to figure out sleeping on their own.
Creating a safe sleep environment for your baby is crucial. This means ensuring that the sleeping area is smoke-free and not too hot. Additionally, it is recommended to place infants on their backs to sleep, as this has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS significantly. By following these guidelines, you can help to reduce the risk of sleep-related infant deaths and create a safe and comfortable space for your baby to sleep and self-soothe.
To encourage self-soothing, you can put your baby to bed drowsy but awake. This helps them associate falling asleep with being in their bed alone. A consistent bedtime routine that includes calm activities, such as reading a story, singing a lullaby, or taking a bath, can signal to your baby that it's time to sleep. It's important to be patient and remember that some days will be easier than others when it comes to teaching your baby to self-soothe.
In summary, it is important for babies to sleep in a safe, separate space to reduce the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related infant deaths. By establishing a consistent bedtime routine and giving them the opportunity to figure out sleeping on their own, you can help your baby develop the important skill of self-soothing.
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Self-soothing is a social-emotional skill that develops over time
Babies typically start to learn how to self-soothe around 4 months old. At this age, they are capable of sleeping for longer stretches and even sleeping through the night. However, they might need help learning how to self-soothe and fall asleep without assistance. One way to help babies learn to self-soothe is to put them to bed drowsy but awake. This helps them practice falling asleep without a parent or caregiver and can also help them associate falling asleep with being in bed alone.
To help babies learn to self-soothe, it is important to first meet their basic needs, including feeding, bathing, diapering, and comforting them when they cry. Swaddling is another technique that can help babies feel safe and comforted, making it easier for them to master self-soothing. Additionally, creating a calming bedtime routine and setting a consistent bedtime can help babies learn to fall asleep independently.
As babies grow and have new experiences, their self-soothing skills may change and develop. They may learn to recover from strong emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, or excitement, or they may be able to stay calm for longer periods of time. Self-soothing is a skill that continues to be important throughout childhood and even adulthood, helping individuals manage their emotions and build healthy relationships.
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Signs your baby is sleepy: yawning, rubbing eyes, fussing
Typically, newborns sleep for up to 16 or 17 hours a day, but only for an hour or two at a time. Newborns and young babies cannot self-soothe yet, so they need to be rocked or nursed to sleep. Babies develop regular sleep cycles when they are 3 to 6 months old, transitioning from short to longer sleep cycles and more non-REM sleep.
Babies, toddlers, and adults all have sleepy cues. Some common signs that your baby is sleepy include yawning, rubbing eyes, and fussing. Other signs include a blank stare, red eyes, tugging on hair, getting "sassy", head nuzzling, wanting to be held constantly, active babies slowing down/sitting, wanting to nurse at non-feeding times, babbling, face rubbing, rubbing ears, cuddling with toys, shaking head from side to side, bursting into tears for no obvious reason, staring into space, puffy eyes, eye rolling, and a serious expression (no smiles).
Some babies may briefly yawn or look away when they simply need a break from interaction or if they are ready for something new. If your baby is flashing sleepy cues, try changing their environment. Do something different, like going outside or trying to incorporate a different type of newborn play. If your baby is still showing cues or progressing to "I'm ready for a nap!", go ahead and offer a nap.
To help your baby self-soothe, you can establish a calming bedtime routine and a consistent bedtime. Putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake can help them learn to associate falling asleep with being in bed alone. This can aid in self-soothing and sleeping for longer stretches.
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Frequently asked questions
No, a 3-month-old baby will likely not be able to self-soothe yet. From birth to three months old, most children need physical or emotional assistance from a parent or caregiver to fall back to sleep.
You can help your baby learn to self-soothe by creating a safe sleeping environment and a calming bedtime routine. Put your baby to bed drowsy but awake so they can practice falling asleep without you.
A bedtime routine is a nightly ritual that includes calm activities such as taking a bath, reading a story, singing a lullaby, having a feed, and rocking or cuddling.
A safe sleep environment involves your baby sleeping on their back on a firm, flat, and level surface in a space that is clear, not too hot, and smoke-free.
