Herbie Murray
Self-soothing is an important life skill that babies learn over time. While it is normal for babies to wake up at night during their first 12 months, some babies are good at soothing themselves back to sleep, while others need more help. Newborns and young babies typically cannot self-soothe, so they need their parents to rock or nurse them to sleep. However, as babies grow older, they develop more independent abilities and a greater capacity to self-soothe. Parents can encourage self-soothing behaviours by establishing a consistent bedtime routine, providing a calming environment, and using techniques like pacifiers, white noise, and sleep training methods. While every baby is different, some may start demonstrating self-soothing behaviours by 3 to 4 months of age.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Self-soothing definition | The ability to fall asleep without help from caregivers |
| Self-soothing as a skill | Self-soothing is a skill that can be learned and is considered important for babies |
| Self-soothing methods | Pacifiers, white noise, a consistent routine, a calming environment, sleep training, and more |
| Self-soothing age | Typically, babies start demonstrating self-soothing behaviors by 3 to 6 months, but this may vary |
| Self-soothing challenges | Separation anxiety, developmental ability, and exhaustion can hinder self-soothing |
| Caregiver's role | Caregivers can help by establishing routines, providing a calming environment, and gradually reducing night feedings |
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What You'll Learn
Self-soothing techniques for 2-month-olds
A 2-month-old baby is still at a very early stage of development and is not expected to be able to self-soothe. In fact, it is recommended that you do not try to teach your baby to self-soothe before they are 3 months old. Newborns need help to soothe themselves because they don't yet have the ability to control their emotions. This is a gradual process that takes years, so don't expect too much from your infant.
However, there are some steps you can take to help your baby develop self-soothing skills. Firstly, it is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine. This could include activities such as reading a book, singing a song, or taking a bath—simple routines like these can provide the body with the signal that it's time to relax and go to sleep. Consistency is key in helping children to know how to respond to different situations.
You can also help your baby by creating an optimal sleep environment. A comfortable and safe environment is key to anyone being able to fall asleep and stay asleep. A slightly cool environment is considered better than a warm one, and it is important to ensure that your baby is not disturbed by noises, chills, or hot sweats.
Another way to help your baby self-soothe is to move bedtime feeding sessions to an earlier part of the bedtime routine. This can encourage your baby to learn to self-soothe while still getting enough food. This change may lead to some upset crying as your baby will need to find other ways to soothe themselves to sleep. In the beginning, you may need to stand next to the crib offering verbal assurances or a back rub as your baby learns to self-soothe without the aid of liquids and full-body human contact.
It is important to remember that every baby is different and no one solution will work for everyone. Be patient, stick to your calming bedtime routine, and remember that some days will be easier than others.
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How to establish a sleep routine
A 2-month-old baby typically sleeps for 14 to 20 hours a day, but only for an hour or two at a time. At this stage, their sleep needs are driven by their body's natural rhythms, so they can't be forced or strictly scheduled. Flexibility is key, as sleep and wake phases are still unpredictable. Instead of following a rigid routine, watch for your baby's sleep cues, such as yawning, fussiness, or eye rubbing, to know when it's time for a nap or bedtime.
- Follow their natural sleep-wake rhythm: Each day, your baby's sleep-wake rhythm will become more predictable. Pay attention to their sleepy cues and adjust their wake time as needed to avoid overtiredness.
- Create a flexible routine: Understand your baby's sleep patterns, wake windows, and sleep needs to create a gentle, flexible routine. This might include short naps throughout the day, followed by a longer stretch of sleep at night.
- Practice one nap a day in the crib: Get your baby used to napping in their crib or bassinet. Put them down for a nap or bedtime before they get cranky, and don't let any nap go longer than 2 hours.
- Establish a bedtime routine: Bathing, reading, and singing can signal the end of the day and soothe your baby. Be consistent, and your baby will soon associate these activities with sleeping.
- Move bedtime feeding earlier: By moving the bedtime feeding session earlier, you can encourage your baby to learn to self-soothe. You may need to offer verbal assurance or a back rub as they learn to self-soothe without the aid of feeding.
- Offer a pacifier: A pacifier can help your baby calm down and reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). However, don't force it, and if your baby is breastfeeding, wait until it's firmly established.
- Create a safe and comfortable sleep environment: Ensure all sleep surfaces and products meet safety standards. Keep the room slightly cool and free from hazards, such as cords, ribbons, or sharp objects within the baby's reach.
- Be patient and consistent: Establishing healthy sleep habits takes time and patience. Respond to your baby's unique needs and be consistent in your routines to help them learn to self-soothe and develop healthy sleep patterns.
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The role of consistency and environment
Consistency and environment play a crucial role in helping a 2-month-old baby develop the ability to self-soothe and regulate their sleep patterns. While a 2-month-old baby is still highly dependent on their caregiver for soothing and comfort, establishing a consistent sleep routine and a conducive environment can facilitate the gradual development of self-soothing skills over time.
Consistency
Consistency is vital in helping a 2-month-old baby develop a sense of security and predictability, which can indirectly contribute to their ability to self-soothe. Creating a consistent sleep routine involves maintaining regular sleep and nap times, even during the day. This helps the baby's body clock adjust, making them more likely to feel sleepy at the designated times.
Additionally, consistent bedtime routines are essential. This could include activities such as reading a book, singing a lullaby, or taking a warm bath. These consistent cues signal to the baby that it's time to relax and prepare for sleep.
Environment
Creating an optimal sleep environment is crucial for a 2-month-old baby's comfort and ability to self-soothe. This includes ensuring the room is slightly cool, as a comfortable temperature reduces the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and helps the baby stay asleep without being triggered by excessive heat.
The sleep environment should also be free from distractions and excessive noise. White noise machines or steady sounds, such as a fan, can be used to create a calming atmosphere and block out unexpected noises that might startle the baby.
It's important to note that while consistency and environment are essential, they do not guarantee immediate self-soothing abilities in a 2-month-old baby. The development of self-soothing skills occurs gradually, and most babies typically start showing signs of self-soothing between 3 and 6 months of age.
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Understanding separation anxiety
A 2-month-old baby is still very young and will need help getting to sleep and soothing themselves. Newborns are not typically capable of self-soothing, and it is advised not to try to teach them to self-soothe before they are 3 months old. This is because they don't yet have the ability to control their emotions, and learning emotional control is a process that takes years.
Babies typically develop the ability to self-soothe around 3 to 6 months of age. At this age, their sleep patterns become more regular, and they are capable of sleeping for longer stretches. However, some babies may not begin to self-soothe until later, and a small percentage may struggle to self-soothe at all.
Separation anxiety can make it harder for a baby to learn to self-soothe, so it is best to encourage self-soothing behaviours before this kicks in around 8 to 9 months. Separation anxiety can also make it more difficult for parents to teach their baby to self-soothe, as the baby will be worried about being apart from their favourite adults.
To help your baby self-soothe, it is important to establish a consistent bedtime routine and a calming environment. A schedule keeps babies from becoming overtired, which can hinder their ability to self-soothe. Reading a book, singing a song, or taking a bath can all be part of a bedtime routine that signals to your baby's body that it is time to relax and sleep.
It is also beneficial to create a sleep environment that is optimally designed for sleeping. This means a slightly cool, safe, and comfortable environment with minimal distractions. Using a pacifier during sleep can help your baby calm down, but it should be limited to bedtime and naptime to avoid dependence.
Gradually reducing night-time feedings as your baby gets older and becomes capable of sleeping through the night can also aid in self-soothing. However, it is important to ensure your baby is getting enough food and offer verbal assurance as they learn to self-soothe without the aid of liquids.
While self-soothing is an important skill for babies to learn, it is a gradual process and parents should not expect too much too soon. Some babies will take longer to learn than others, and it is important to trust your instincts and seek expert help if needed.
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When to seek professional advice
While self-soothing is an important life skill for babies to learn, newborns and young babies are not typically capable of self-soothing. Babies usually start demonstrating self-soothing behaviours by 3 to 6 months of age. However, every baby is different, and there is no consensus on whether the techniques used to encourage self-soothing are beneficial or harmful.
If you are concerned about your baby's inability to self-soothe, you should consider seeking professional advice in the following circumstances:
- If your baby is frequently waking up at 6 months or older: It is normal for babies to wake up at night during their first 12 months of life. However, if your baby is frequently waking up after 6 months, you may want to consult a paediatrician. They can advise on potential sleep issues and provide guidance on safe sleep-training methods.
- If your baby was premature or has health conditions: Consult a paediatrician before attempting sleep training with a premature baby or a baby with health issues. Different approaches may be needed, and it's essential to follow medical advice tailored to your baby's specific needs.
- If you are unsure about the self-soothing techniques: The methods used to encourage self-soothing can be controversial, and paediatricians may have differing views. Seek advice from a healthcare professional, preferably one who aligns with your parenting philosophy, to determine the best approach for your baby's well-being.
- If your baby's inability to self-soothe is causing distress: Infant sleep problems can be challenging for parents and caregivers, leading to higher levels of distress and depression. If you are struggling due to your baby's sleep issues, don't hesitate to reach out for professional support. This can include consulting a paediatrician, a mental health professional, or seeking support from parent groups or counselling services.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not typical for newborns to be able to self-soothe. Their sleep patterns are irregular, and they need to eat frequently to gain weight.
Some babies can start to self-soothe around 3 to 6 months of age.
You can help your baby self-soothe by creating a consistent sleep routine and a calming environment. Gradually reduce night feedings and offer verbal assurance as your baby learns to self-soothe.
Self-soothing techniques include using a pacifier, white noise, and a consistent bedtime routine. Reading a book, singing a song, or taking a bath can signal to your baby's body that it's time to relax and sleep.
