Colin Snow
If your 23-month-old is not sleeping, you are not alone. Sleep regression at this age is common. This could be due to several factors, such as the development of limit-testing, separation anxiety, and life changes, such as potty training or the arrival of a new sibling. It is also a period of significant cognitive, physical, and social development, which can make it difficult for toddlers to sleep well at night. Ensuring that your child gets enough daily exercise, natural light, and a consistent sleep schedule can help improve their sleep quality. It is also important to maintain a consistent bedtime routine and set boundaries to prevent short-term sleep issues from becoming long-term struggles.
Why is my 23-month-old not sleeping?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Total Sleep Time | 12-14 hours in a 24-hour period |
| Overnight Sleep Time | 10-12 hours |
| Daytime Sleep Time | 2-3 hours |
| Number of Naps | 1 nap per day |
| Nap Duration | 1.5-2.5 hours |
| Bedtime | 7:00-8:00 pm |
| Wake-Up Time | Consistent every morning |
| Wake Window | 5.25-5.75 hours |
| Reasons for Sleep Disturbances | Teething, Separation Anxiety, Life Changes (e.g., potty training, new siblings), Fear of the Dark, Increased Vocabulary, Developmental Milestones, Testing Limits, Growing Independence |
| Strategies to Improve Sleep | Consistent Bedtime Routine, Outdoor Play and Natural Light Exposure, Physical Activity, Sweet Talk and Bonding, Comfort Objects (e.g., teddy bear), Healthy Snacks |
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What You'll Learn
The 2-year-old sleep regression
Sleep regression at age 2 is not uncommon. If your 23-month-old is experiencing sleep regression, it is likely that they are learning new things and developing new skills every day. This can make it difficult for them to sleep well at night. At this age, toddlers are experiencing a leap in their physical abilities, language skills, and social abilities, which can lead to tougher bedtimes and more night wakings.
Sleep regression is a common phrase used to describe a temporary disruption in your child's sleep, like waking more in the night, taking shorter naps, or fighting bedtime. This is common during times of developmental growth or big transitions (think: starting preschool or the birth of a sibling).
There are some clear and easy steps you can take to solve this regression. First, ensure that your child has all their basic needs met and that they are not uncomfortable or in pain due to illness or issues like teething. After this, you should look to solve any environmental issues that are causing problems at bedtime. For example, if your toddler is climbing out of their crib, make sure the crib mattress is at its lowest setting.
To address issues with bedtime resistance, try to establish a consistent bedtime routine and provide frequent but brief check-ins to comfort your child. This can help them feel secure and supported, making it easier for them to fall back asleep. Maintaining consistency in routines, being flexible and patient, and creating a comforting sleep environment are key strategies for helping your child navigate this challenging phase and get back to their regular sleep patterns.
Remember, sleep regression doesn't mean that your child's sleep skills are permanently regressing. Sleep skills don't disappear at certain ages. Instead, sleep regression refers to ages when children often experience periods of development or changes in sleep needs.
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Teething pain
Sleep regression at age 2 is not uncommon. This regression can be attributed to a variety of factors, including the development of limit-testing, separation anxiety, and life changes such as potty training or the arrival of a new sibling. Teething pain is another common cause of sleep regression in 23-month-old toddlers.
Teething syndrome, or teething, is a normal yet uncomfortable part of a child's development. It refers to the process of teeth breaking through the gums, which can cause pain, swelling, tenderness, drooling, and fussiness. While teething typically begins around 6 months of age, the timing can vary significantly between children. The first molars usually appear between 13 and 19 months, and the complete set of 20 primary teeth is typically in place by the time a child is 2.5 to 3 years old.
- Offer cold items: Provide your toddler with something solid and cold to chew on, such as a refrigerated teething toy, ring, pacifier, spoon, or wet washcloth. Avoid liquid-filled teethers that may leak, and be cautious with freezable teethers as they may become too hard or too cold for your child's mouth.
- Medication: Consult your doctor about giving your toddler a small dose of children's pain reliever, such as acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen (Motrin). Avoid over-the-counter teething gels and liquids that contain benzocaine, as these are not recommended for children under 2 years old due to potential side effects.
- Breast milk: For breastfed toddlers, nursing can provide comfort during the teething process. Some babies may find sucking painful, in which case bottle feeding may be preferred.
- Water: If your toddler is over 6-9 months old, offer cool water from a sippy cup to help soothe sore gums.
- Teething biscuits: While not very nutritious, teething biscuits can provide something for your toddler to chew on. However, be mindful that they may contain sugar and salt, so supervision is necessary.
It's important to maintain a consistent sleep routine even during periods of teething pain. Most 23-month-olds do well with a set schedule that includes about 5.25 to 5.75 hours of awake time between sleep periods and one consolidated nap lasting 2-3 hours. A consistent bedtime routine can help your toddler anticipate what comes next and make it easier for them to settle down for sleep.
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Separation anxiety
When children realise they are separate from their caregivers, it can be a big discovery that may lead to anxiety and sleep challenges. Separation anxiety can make bedtime difficult because your baby may feel hesitant or nervous to be left alone. It can also cause multiple night wakings when this wasn't an issue previously. Signs of separation anxiety at night may include crying for you when you leave their room during their bedtime routine, insisting you stay with them while they fall asleep, and waking at night and calling out for you.
There are several ways to help your child cope with separation anxiety:
- Practice leaving the room and coming back, reassuring your child that you will return. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek work well for this.
- Do not sneak away when leaving your child at daycare or with a babysitter, as this can be upsetting for them.
- Provide a comfort object (also called a "transitional object" or "lovey") to help your child feel safe and secure. Children often pick their own comfort object, such as a blanket or soft toy, and seek emotional comfort from it. However, loveys or transitional objects are not safe for sleep under 12 months.
- Maintain consistent sleep schedules and bedtime routines as much as possible, as consistency is comforting to children.
- Spend extra one-on-one time with your child, even if it's only 10-15 minutes, to help them adjust to big transitions or changes.
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Fear of the dark
It is common for toddlers to develop a fear of the dark, which can be related to their rapidly developing imagination and their inability to differentiate between fantasy and reality. This fear can be exacerbated by overtiredness, which can cause the release of stress hormones and increase anxieties. To help your 23-month-old overcome their fear of the dark and improve their sleep, here are some strategies:
Firstly, review your toddler's daily schedule to ensure they are getting an appropriate amount of sleep and are neither overtired nor undertired at bedtime. Overtiredness can increase stress and anxiety, contributing to fears of the dark. Undertiredness, on the other hand, can leave your toddler with too much time to lie awake and let their imagination run wild.
Secondly, create a peaceful bedtime routine that avoids exposure to violent, suspenseful, or scary content in the hours leading up to bedtime. This includes being mindful of the shows, podcasts, and music they consume, as something harmless to adults can increase a toddler's fears. Instead, opt for happy stories, gentle songs, and fun associations with the dark, such as glow-in-the-dark treasure hunts or imagining relaxing scenes together in the dark.
Additionally, consider using a night light, such as a dim or red light, to make your toddler's room seem less scary. You can also leave the hallway light on with their bedroom door open, or use an Ok-to-Wake Clock with red light for bedtime and green light for waking up. Teach your toddler breathing exercises to help them calm down and manage their anxiety. You can also encourage them to sleep with a comfort object, such as a favourite stuffed animal or blanket, which has been shown to help decrease nighttime fears.
It is important to validate your toddler's feelings and offer comfort and reassurance. Let them talk about their fears without denying their feelings or making light of their fears. Reassure them that monsters aren't real, and stay close by if they need you. It's also beneficial to discuss strategies for overcoming fears during the day, such as through pretend play or reading books together about characters facing similar fears. Remember, this phase will likely pass in a few weeks or months as your toddler's fears are a normal part of their development.
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Lack of physical activity during the day
A 2018 study by researchers at Michigan State University found that babies who are less physically active during the day tend to get less sleep overnight. The study monitored the physical activity levels and sleep of 22 healthy 6-month-old infants over a 24-hour period and found that the infants who were less physically active during the day slept less at night and had more overnight feedings.
Firstly, it can lead to your toddler having excess energy in the evening, making it harder for them to wind down and fall asleep. Ensuring your toddler has adequate physical activity during the day can help them expend their energy and feel more tired come bedtime. This can include providing opportunities for active play, such as outdoor playtime, age-appropriate sports, or simply allowing them to run, jump, and explore their environment.
Secondly, engaging in physical activity during the day can help regulate your toddler's circadian rhythm, which is their internal body clock that regulates sleep-wake cycles. Exposure to natural light and physical activity during the day, followed by a calming bedtime routine in the evening, can help reinforce healthy sleep-wake patterns.
Additionally, physical activity promotes healthy weight gain, which can have a positive impact on sleep. Toddlers who are a healthy weight tend to have better sleep quality and duration.
It is important to note that every toddler is unique, and the amount of physical activity they require may vary. Some toddlers may have higher energy levels and require more physical activity, while others may be calmer and require less. It is essential to tailor the amount and type of physical activity to your child's individual needs and always consult with your pediatrician for personalized advice.
By encouraging physical activity during the day, you can help your 23-month-old establish a healthy sleep pattern and improve their overall sleep quality.
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Frequently asked questions
There could be several reasons for this, including the 2-year-old sleep regression, teething pain, or separation anxiety.
Sleep regression is a disruption in your toddler's nighttime routine, causing them to wake up multiple times, miss naps, or wake up very early. It is often associated with developmental milestones and cognitive changes.
Sleep regressions are usually temporary and can last from a few days to several weeks. It is important to remain consistent with routines and boundaries during this time.
Most 23-month-olds need a total of 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, including 10-12 hours of overnight sleep and 2-3 hours of daytime sleep in the form of one consolidated nap.
Here are some strategies to improve your toddler's sleep:
- Stick to a consistent sleep schedule with regular bedtimes and wake-up times.
- Encourage active play and outdoor time during the day to tire them out.
- Expose them to natural light early in the day to regulate their sleep hormone, melatonin.
- Maintain a calming bedtime routine, such as reading a book or sweet talk before tucking them in while they're still awake.
- Introduce a comfort item like a teddy bear or blankie to the bedtime routine.
- Set boundaries and limits to manage their growing independence.
