Toddler Sleep Troubles: Why Your 20-Month-Old Won't Sleep

why is my 20 month old suddenly not sleeping

If your 20-month-old has suddenly started struggling with sleep, there could be several reasons. Firstly, it could be due to common factors at this age, such as separation anxiety, developmental milestones, teething, illness, or nightmares. Secondly, their sleep habits might need adjusting; for example, they may need more or less time between sleep periods, or their naps might need to be adjusted in length or frequency. Additionally, external factors like screen time, noise levels, and room comfort can impact their sleep. Finally, it could be a case of the 2-year-old sleep regression, where toddlers experience a leap in physical, language, and social abilities, often resulting in tougher bedtimes and more night wakings.

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Separation anxiety

Sleep regression is common at several ages, including 4 months, 8 months, 18 months, and 2 years. If your 20-month-old is suddenly experiencing sleep issues, it could be due to the 2-year sleep regression. During this time, toddlers experience a leap in their physical abilities, language skills, and social abilities, which can lead to tougher bedtimes and more night wakings.

At 20 months, your toddler may be experiencing separation anxiety due to big life changes or developmental milestones. For example, the transition to a toddler bed or the arrival of a new sibling could trigger feelings of anxiety and a need for reassurance. Separation anxiety can manifest as increased clinginess, difficulty separating from a parent, or a desire for a parent to be present until the child falls asleep.

To help manage separation anxiety, consider the following strategies:

  • Provide extra time in the morning: Allowing extra time in the morning can prevent your toddler from feeling rushed during transitions or separations. This can also give you an opportunity to manage your own emotions and follow through with well-planned strategies.
  • Offer comfort through transitional objects: A lovey or transitional object, such as a small soft blanket or stuffed animal, can provide comfort and ease feelings of anxiety. Research has shown that these objects can provide a sense of security during stressful transitions. However, ensure that any objects placed in the crib are safe and cannot pose a risk of strangulation.
  • Maintain consistent sleep schedules and routines: Consistency is comforting to children. Stick to established sleep schedules and bedtime routines as much as possible. While it may be tempting to change tactics for short-term relief, new approaches can often lead to longer-term struggles.
  • Address basic needs and comfort: Ensure that your toddler is healthy, comfortable, and not in pain due to illness, teething, or other physical discomforts. Meeting their basic needs can help reduce overall stress and improve sleep.
  • Provide extra connection during the day: Offering extra cuddles and kisses during the day can help your toddler feel more secure and prepared for separation at bedtime.
  • Respond to their emotions: Recognize and respond to your toddler's intense emotions and clinginess before bedtime. Including extra connection during the day can help instill confidence in their ability to be away from you for periods of time.

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Screen time

Excessive screen time can lead to less sleep, longer times to fall asleep, and later bedtimes. A study by Kahn found that for every minute of daytime touchscreen use, 3-month-old babies lost a minute of nighttime sleep. Another study by Common Sense Media showed that 2- to 4-year-olds logged two-and-a-half hours of overall daily screen use, with TV and videos accounting for 80% of this.

To mitigate the negative impacts of screen time on sleep, it is important to limit screen exposure, especially before bedtime. Switching off screens in the hours before bed is critical, as the blue light emitted by screens can stimulate the brain instead of relaxing it, and lower melatonin levels in the body. Experts recommend engaging in calming activities before bed, such as reading a book, telling a story, or singing a lullaby.

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Illness, teething, or other physical discomfort

If your 20-month-old is experiencing sleep regression, it could be due to illness, teething, or other physical discomfort. Sleep regression at this age is common, and it can be frustrating for parents. It is important to address any underlying issues and remain patient until the regression passes, which it likely will within a few weeks.

Teething can be a contributing factor to sleep regression. Discomfort from teething can lead to increased night wakings, short or skipped naps, resistance to sleep, and fussiness. The pain and discomfort from teething can keep babies awake, and they may wake up after just 10-20 minutes of sleep. Teething can also be accompanied by gum swelling, tenderness, refusal to eat, increased drooling, biting, and chewing. To help your child sleep while teething, you can try soothing their gums with a gum massage, teethers, or doctor-approved pain relievers.

Illness can also impact sleep. If your child is experiencing a fever, pain, or discomfort due to illness, it may disrupt their sleep. It is important to ensure that your child's basic needs are met and that they are comfortable and not in pain.

Other physical discomforts, such as separation anxiety, fear of the dark, or new fears, could also be factors in sleep regression. At 20 months, children are experiencing a leap in their physical abilities, language skills, and social abilities, which can lead to tougher bedtimes and more night wakings.

To promote healthy sleep habits, aim for a consistent daily routine with a flexible schedule. A 20-month-old typically needs 10-12 hours of overnight sleep and 2-3 hours of daytime sleep, usually achieved with one long afternoon nap. A bedtime routine that includes a warm bath and a bedtime story can help your child relax.

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Fear of the dark

Sleep regression is common at several ages, including 4 months, 8 months, 18 months, and 2 years. If your 20-month-old is suddenly not sleeping, it could be due to the 2-year sleep regression. This is developmentally normal and common for toddlers to experience. At this age, toddlers are experiencing a leap in their physical abilities, language skills, and social abilities, which can lead to tougher bedtimes and more night wakings.

Now, onto the fear of the dark. Fear of the dark usually starts to appear around 2 to 2.5 years of age or older. As a toddler's imagination rapidly develops between 2 and 3 years old, the line between fantasy and reality is blurred, and this is when fears of the dark begin. Here are some strategies to help your toddler cope with their fear of the dark:

  • Limit screen time: Even seemingly harmless characters like the Grinch or Disney villains can appear scary to young children. Scary images in books and on screens can contribute to a fear of the dark.
  • Add a night light: A night light can make your toddler's room seem less scary. You can also leave the door slightly ajar and keep the hall light on.
  • Give them a comfort object: Research has shown that sleeping with a comfort object, such as a lovey or a favorite stuffed animal, can help decrease nighttime fears and sleep problems.
  • Teach them how to cope with fear: Teach your child what you do when you feel afraid. For example, if you pray, pray out loud together. If you use breathing exercises to calm down, show them how to breathe deeply by putting their hand on their chest and slowly blowing out imaginary birthday candles.
  • Spend time in the dark together: Read a book together with a flashlight or make shadow puppets on the wall. This helps your child gain confidence about being in the dark.
  • Read children's books: Children's books are great tools for allowing your child to explore their fears and start a discussion about what scares them.
  • Review their daily schedule: Ensure your toddler is not overtired or undertired at bedtime.

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Overtiredness

If your 20-month-old is overtired, it can make it difficult for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can result in shorter nights and waking up too early.

To prevent overtiredness, it is important to establish a consistent daily routine that takes into account your toddler's sleep needs, including their typical naps and overall sleep requirements. For a 20-month-old, it is recommended that they get a total of 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, including 10-12 hours of overnight sleep and 2-3 hours of daytime sleep in one nap.

If your toddler is taking two naps, be mindful of the signs that they are ready to transition to one nap. This usually happens around 18 months. If you notice these signs for several days, it's time to drop one of the naps.

To avoid overtiredness, you can also adjust their wake windows. If your toddler is struggling with sleep, try decreasing their wake windows slightly. On the other hand, if they are not tired enough, you can add 10-15 minutes to each wake window, allowing a few days for them to adjust before reassessing.

Additionally, make sure to expose your toddler to fresh air, natural light, and at least three hours of active playtime during the day. This will help regulate their sleep hormone, melatonin, and ensure they are tired when bedtime comes around.

Frequently asked questions

There are many reasons why your 20-month-old might be experiencing sleep disturbances. Firstly, it is important to check for any physical discomfort, such as illness or teething. If your child is otherwise healthy and comfortable, other factors could be contributing to their sleep troubles. These include separation anxiety, developmental milestones, or too much screen time.

Most 20-month-olds should be getting a total of 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. This includes 10-12 hours of overnight sleep and 2-3 hours of daytime sleep, usually achieved during one long nap.

Firstly, ensure that your child's basic needs are met and that they are comfortable. Then, consider whether there are any environmental factors that could be causing problems at bedtime. For example, is the room too noisy, or is your child too hot or cold? You could also try gradually pushing back their bedtime if they are taking longer than an hour to fall asleep.

Sleep regression at age 2 is common and can be caused by a number of factors, including physical and cognitive development, separation anxiety, and new fears. It is important to address any underlying issues and remain patient while this regression passes, which it likely will within a few weeks.

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