Toddler Sleep Troubles: What To Do When Your 19-Month-Old Won't Sleep

why is my 19 month old not sleeping

Sleep is an important factor in the development of 18-month-olds, but it's not uncommon for toddlers to experience sleep regression at this age. This could manifest as your toddler resisting bedtime, waking up during the night, or refusing to nap. While sleep regression is a normal part of child development, it can be challenging for caregivers. Understanding the causes of sleep regression and implementing strategies to promote healthy sleep habits can help your 19-month-old overcome sleep difficulties.

Why is my 19-month-old not sleeping?

Characteristics Values
Sleep regression Temporary disruption in sleep patterns
Developmental milestones Learning new skills like walking and talking
Big transitions Starting preschool, birth of a sibling
Increased independence Refusing naps, exploring alternatives to sleeping
Separation anxiety Screaming when left alone
Teething Discomfort impacting sleep
Transition to a 1-nap schedule Adjusting to fewer naps
Overstimulation Too much activity or screen time before bed
Bedtime routine Inconsistent or lacking calming activities
Sleep environment Uncomfortable or distracting surroundings
Physical discomfort Illness, growth spurts, or teething pain
Emotional changes Deeper emotional reactions, anxiety

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Sleep regression

At 19 months, toddlers are showing more independence as they explore and learn about the world around them. This newfound independence can sometimes lead to sleep regression, as toddlers may start to resist going to sleep at night and want to stay up with the family. They may also experience separation anxiety, which can impact their sleep. It is common for toddlers to wake up early, take shorter naps, or completely refuse to nap during sleep regression. Other signs of sleep regression include taking longer to fall asleep, frequent night-time wakings, and stalling or throwing tantrums during the bedtime routine.

To improve sleep during regression, you can offer an age-appropriate bedtime, prioritize naps, and set consistent limits. It is also essential to check for any physical discomfort, such as illness or teething, and ensure your toddler is healthy and comfortable. Additionally, you can practice short periods of intentional separation to ease separation anxiety.

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Separation anxiety

The most noticeable signs of separation anxiety are increased clinginess and crying, especially when you're initiating the separation. It can also cause sleep struggles, such as night wakings, short naps, and difficulty falling asleep. Separation anxiety tends to come in waves over the first few years of a child's life, with some of the biggest surges occurring between 8-10 months and again around 14-18 months. It can also occur in older toddlers and preschoolers during times of big life changes, such as starting school, moving, or the arrival of a new sibling.

If your 19-month-old is experiencing separation anxiety, there are several things you can do to help them cope:

  • Practice being apart from each other by gradually introducing new people and places.
  • Try not to leave when your child is tired, hungry, or restless. Schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.
  • Provide extra time in the morning to get ready for school or daycare to help your child feel less rushed and make transitions easier.
  • Offer comfort and reassurance when your child wakes up during the night. However, be aware that if you start helping them back to sleep during periods of separation anxiety, they may expect this every time they wake up.
  • Use a comfort object or "transitional object", such as a blanket or soft toy, to provide a sense of security. These are typically introduced between 8-12 months and can help reduce sleep struggles.
  • Spend intentional one-on-one time with your child, even if it's just 10-15 minutes, to help them adjust to transitions or changes.

While separation anxiety is a normal phase, if it lasts into preschool or beyond and interferes with daily activities, it could be a sign of separation anxiety disorder. Talk to your doctor if you have concerns about your child's anxiety or emotional development.

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Teething

If teething is the cause of your toddler's sleep problems, they will likely exhibit other signs of discomfort during the day, such as increased fussiness, swollen and tender gums, increased biting and chewing, refusal to eat, and increased drooling. You may also notice one flushed cheek on the side the tooth is coming through.

To help soothe a teething baby at night and promote better sleep, there are several things you can try:

  • Keep the room temperature between 16°C and 20°C. Avoid overdressing your baby or wrapping them in thick blankets, as this can make it harder for them to sleep.
  • Turn off all screens that emit blue light, such as the TV or phone, at least an hour before bedtime. Blue light interferes with melatonin production, making it harder for your baby to fall asleep.
  • Give your baby a massage before bed to help with calming and bonding. A gentle gum massage with a clean finger or a durable teething ring can provide temporary relief from sore gums.
  • Provide your baby with something safe to chew on, such as solid finger foods, raw fruits and vegetables, or a teething toy. Frozen or cold items, such as a frozen banana or a cold washcloth, can also help numb the pain.
  • Cuddle and comfort your baby, as skin-to-skin contact helps promote a sense of calm and safety.
  • Use white noise to distract your baby from the pain and discomfort. A white noise machine can also serve as a night light and can be controlled remotely.
  • Stick to your baby's established bedtime routine as much as possible, even during teething.

If your baby is struggling with teething pain, you can consider giving them baby acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen about 30 minutes before bedtime. However, always consult your paediatrician or doctor before administering any medication to your baby to ensure proper dosage and safety.

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Testing boundaries

It's important to remember that every child is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to sleep issues. However, the 18-month sleep regression is a common phenomenon, and one of the factors that can influence sleep patterns at this age is boundary testing.

At around 18 months, toddlers are going through significant developmental changes. They are gaining independence, seeking to exert their power, and testing boundaries. This newfound independence can lead to bedtime resistance, with toddlers refusing to lay down and fall asleep like they used to. They may want to keep playing or explore their surroundings instead of sleeping. While this behaviour can be frustrating for parents, it is a normal part of their development and a sign of their growing confidence and curiosity.

To help your 19-month-old establish healthy sleep habits, it's important to promote their sense of independence in a positive way. Encourage them to play actively during their awake time to get their energy out. Create a safe and fun environment in their bedroom so they associate it with positive experiences. You can also introduce a comfort object, like a teddy bear, to provide them with a sense of security at bedtime.

Additionally, maintaining a consistent bedtime routine is crucial. Start preparing for bedtime in the morning by getting your toddler outside early, exposing them to natural light, and regulating their sleep hormone, melatonin. Throughout the day, work on their bedtime skills and ensure they get enough active playtime, which has been shown to improve sleep quality. At bedtime, engage in sweet talk, recounting fun experiences and listing good deeds your toddler may do tomorrow.

Remember, sleep regressions are typically short-lived, and by sticking to healthy sleep habits, your toddler will likely move past this phase soon.

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Establishing a bedtime routine

Consistency is Key: A consistent bedtime routine helps your child establish healthy sleep habits. Try to follow the same sequence of activities each night so your toddler knows what to expect. This could include pre-bed tasks such as brushing their teeth, followed by quiet activities like reading a story or listening to calming music.

Create a Soothing Environment: Keep the lights dim, minimise noise, and turn off screens to signal that bedtime is approaching. If there are older siblings, remind them to be quiet once the toddler starts getting ready for bed.

Offer Transitional Objects: A small soft blanket or stuffed toy can provide your toddler with a sense of security. They might even want to include saying goodnight to their transitional object as part of the routine.

Incorporate Calming Activities: A warm bath and a gentle massage can help your toddler relax and prepare for sleep. Singing lullabies or having quiet cuddle time can also promote a sense of calm.

Visual Bedtime Chart: Create a visual chart with pictures representing each step of the bedtime routine, such as a bath, toothbrush, and book. This helps your toddler understand the process and feel more involved.

Flexibility and Individualisation: Every child is unique, so tailor the bedtime routine to their needs. Be flexible with the timing, as some toddlers may require an earlier or later bedtime. Observe your toddler's cues to determine the optimal bedtime, adjusting it gradually by 15 minutes every few nights until you find their ideal sleep window.

Remember, establishing a bedtime routine is a process, and it may take a few weeks for your toddler to adjust. By creating a consistent and calming pre-bed routine, you can help your 19-month-old develop healthy sleep habits and improve their overall sleep quality.

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Frequently asked questions

There could be several reasons for this, and it's important to remember that sleep patterns vary for each child. However, it could be that your toddler is experiencing a common phenomenon known as "sleep regression". This is when a toddler suddenly struggles with their positive sleep habits. It is characterised by refusing to go to bed, waking up during the night, resisting naps, or taking shorter naps. Sleep regression usually occurs between 18 months and 2 years of age, and it is often temporary, lasting about 1-2 weeks.

You may notice that your 19-month-old is:

- Waking up screaming

- Waking up early (before 6:00 am)

- Stalling or throwing tantrums during the bedtime routine

- Taking longer than 20 minutes to fall asleep

- Experiencing separation anxiety at bedtime or naptime

Here are some strategies that may help:

- Ensure your toddler gets at least three hours of active play a day. Filling their wake windows with activities like creating an obstacle course, going for a walk, or having a dance party can help them get their energy out.

- Play in their bedroom so they associate it with positive experiences.

- Give them a lovey like a blankie or teddy bear to help build confidence and comfort.

- Make sure they are exposed to natural light early in the day to regulate their sleep hormone, melatonin.

- Tuck them into bed while they are sleepy but still awake, so they learn to put themselves to sleep.

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