Fighting Sleep: Understanding Your 14-Month-Old's Sleep Struggles

why does my 14 month old fighting sleep

There are many reasons why a 14-month-old might be fighting sleep. It could be that they are overtired, not tired enough, or experiencing teething pain. Developmental milestones, such as learning to roll over, crawl, or walk, can also disrupt sleep patterns as babies often like to practice these new skills at night. Additionally, big changes in a toddler's life, such as starting daycare or experiencing separation anxiety, can lead to bedtime battles. To improve sleep patterns, it is recommended to pay attention to sleepy cues, maintain a consistent sleep schedule, and provide a safe and comfortable sleep environment.

Characteristics Values
Teething Molars breaking through the gum line can be painful for toddlers. The first set of molars typically comes in by 18 months and the second set around 20-30 months.
Developmental milestones Toddlers may become more active and start fighting sleep as they reach milestones like rolling over, crawling, and sitting up. They may also want to practice these skills at night.
Sleep regression Sleep regression is a normal part of a baby's development, with regressions occurring regularly over the first years of life. This can include longer times to fall asleep and increased crying at bedtime.
Overtiredness Toddlers may become overtired due to short naps or long periods of wakefulness, leading to increased cortisol and adrenaline levels, making it harder to fall asleep.
Understimulation Fussiness or boredom may indicate that a toddler is understimulated and not ready for sleep.
Screen time Time spent with screens, such as TV or tablets, can disrupt a toddler's sleep patterns.
Environment A noisy or stimulating environment can make it difficult for a toddler to fall asleep.
Separation anxiety Toddlers may struggle with separation anxiety, especially when a parent "sneaks away" at bedtime. Reassurance and consistent routines can help alleviate this.
Discipline issues Toddlers may start exerting their independence, leading to discipline issues that carry over to bedtime.
Big changes Significant life changes, such as starting school or expecting a new sibling, can impact a toddler's sleep patterns and cause bedtime struggles.

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Your toddler may be experiencing separation anxiety

It's common for toddlers to fight bedtime, and there could be several reasons for this. One of the reasons could be that your toddler is experiencing separation anxiety, which is a normal part of their development.

Separation anxiety can occur anytime from 4 months to 4 years of age and beyond, with the most significant surges often seen between 8-10 months, 14-18 months, and around 3 years old. As your toddler gains independence, they may start to feel anxious or scared when separated from their primary caregiver, which is usually one of the parents. This could be why they're fighting sleep, especially at bedtime or naptime, as these are the longest stretches of alone time they regularly experience.

Signs of separation anxiety include increased clinginess and crying, especially when you're initiating the separation, like when you put them down or leave the room. Your toddler may also start experiencing sleep struggles, such as night wakings, taking short naps, or suddenly struggling to fall asleep. They may become fussier and only settle down for sleep if held.

If your toddler is experiencing separation anxiety, there are some things you can do to help ease their worries:

  • Give advance warning: When leaving your toddler, let them know that another trusted caregiver will be there for them or that you'll be dropping them off. Give a quick goodbye without returning for multiple hugs, as this may cause them to worry more.
  • Avoid sneaking out: Although it may be tempting, avoid sneaking out while your toddler is distracted. This can make them worry that you might disappear without warning, leading to increased clinginess.
  • Intentional 1-on-1 time: Spend even just 10-15 minutes of intentional face-to-face time with your toddler every day. This extra attention and connection can help them adjust to big transitions or changes.
  • Practice separating: Teach your toddler that you will always return by leaving the room for a few seconds at a time and gradually increasing the duration. This will help them get better at being away from you.
  • Consistency and boundaries: Maintain a consistent bedtime routine and set loving boundaries. This will help your toddler feel secure and understand that their sleep space is for sleeping, not for being awake.
  • Comfort objects: Consider introducing a lovey or comfort object to help your toddler feel secure when they're separated from you. Just make sure they are at least 12 months old before allowing such items in their crib.

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They could be teething, which can be painful

Teething can be a painful process for babies and toddlers, and it could be the reason why your 14-month-old is fighting sleep. Teething usually begins around six months of age, but it can happen earlier or later. The first teeth to erupt are typically the two bottom central incisors, followed by the top four front teeth. This process can cause pain and discomfort as the teeth break through the gums.

Your toddler's molars breaking through the gum line can be especially painful due to the larger size of these teeth. The first set of molars typically comes in by 18 months, so your 14-month-old may be experiencing this stage of teething. Teething can cause a range of symptoms, including increased drooling, sore and swollen gums, irritability, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, mild temperature, diarrhoea, and increased biting and gum-rubbing.

The extra saliva produced during teething can also cause an occasional cough or gag. It is important to differentiate between teething symptoms and illness, as some symptoms may be indicative of an illness rather than teething. For example, a high fever with cold and flu symptoms is not related to teething and requires medical attention.

To soothe your teething toddler, you can gently rub their sore gums with a clean finger, a cool spoon, a moist gauze pad, or a washcloth. Chilled or frozen teething rings, chew beads, or commercially bought teething toys can also provide relief. If your toddler is over 6 months old, you may be able to give them children's ibuprofen or acetaminophen to help with the pain, but it is always best to check with their doctor first.

While teething can be a challenging time for both parents and toddlers, it is important to remember that it is a normal part of your child's development. With patience and the appropriate soothing techniques, you can help your toddler through this process.

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They may be overtired, or not tired enough

Babies and toddlers fighting sleep is a common experience for parents. While it can be frustrating, there are several reasons why your 14-month-old might be resisting sleep. One reason could be that they are overtired. Overtired toddlers often experience a surge of cortisol and adrenaline, making it harder for them to settle down and fall asleep. This can be caused by short naps or wake windows that are too long. For example, a 14-month-old toddler may need a morning nap and an afternoon nap, with an afternoon wake window of about five hours before bedtime.

On the other hand, your toddler may not be tired enough. If they don't get enough active awake time during the day, they might not be tired enough to fall asleep or stay asleep at nap time or bedtime. This could be due to a lack of physical activity or stimulation during their waking hours. Toddlers need about 11-14 hours of sleep per day, including one or two daytime naps. If your toddler is fighting sleep, consider whether they are getting enough active time and stimulation during their waking hours.

Additionally, it's important to pay attention to your toddler's sleepy cues. Signs of overtiredness can sometimes look like being undertired, with bursts of energy. Some cues that your toddler may be drowsy include yawning, ear pulling, eye rubbing, thumb sucking, and fussiness. It's also crucial to create a calm and consistent bedtime routine, avoiding overstimulation from too many people, bright lights, or noise.

Another factor to consider is your toddler's development. As they reach new milestones, such as crawling or walking, they may become more active and excited to practice their new skills, leading to resistance at bedtime. This can be managed by providing ample active time during the day and creating a safe sleep environment, such as a toddler bed with a side rail, to encourage sleep.

Finally, it's worth noting that discipline issues and boundary-testing are common during the toddler years, and this can extend to bedtime. Establishing consistent rules and boundaries around sleep can help your toddler feel secure and understand your expectations.

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Your toddler may be getting too much daytime sleep

If your 14-month-old toddler is fighting sleep, it could be because they are getting too much daytime sleep. Between the ages of 1 and 2, most toddlers need about 11 to 14 hours of sleep per day, including one or two daytime naps. However, if your toddler is getting too much sleep during the day, it may lead to them not being tired enough at bedtime, resulting in a struggle to fall asleep.

Around 12 to 15 months, toddlers often start skipping their morning nap and transition to just one afternoon nap. If your toddler is fighting their morning nap, it could be a sign that they are ready for this transition. It's important to pay attention to their sleepy cues and adjust their schedule accordingly.

To address this issue, consider shortening or dropping one of their naps. You can gradually extend their "wake windows" or the amount of time they can handle being awake at a stretch. For a 14-month-old toddler, this could mean having a morning wake window of about 6 hours before nap time and an afternoon wake window of about 5 hours before bedtime.

However, it's important to keep in mind that every toddler is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some toddlers may still need two naps a day, while others may be ready for just one. It's crucial to observe your toddler's unique sleep patterns and adjust their schedule accordingly.

Additionally, make sure that their sleep environment is comfortable and conducive to sleep. Reduce any overstimulation by keeping the noise level down and limiting screen time before bed. Also, ensure that their crib or bed is safe and secure, with no toys or items that they could use to climb out.

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They could be practising new skills, like crawling

As babies reach new developmental milestones, they may become more active and start fighting sleep. They could be practising new skills, like crawling, sitting up, or babbling, both during the day and at night. This is a very common phase for infants to go through, but it can be incredibly frustrating for parents.

If your 14-month-old is fighting sleep, it could be because they are practising new skills like crawling. It is important to give your baby plenty of time to practice these skills during the day, so that they are tired enough to sleep at night. You could also try to create a consistent bedtime routine, so that your baby learns when it is time to sleep.

If your baby is not tired, they may not be ready for as much sleep as they used to have. Between the ages of 1 and 2, most children sleep 11 to 14 hours a day, including one or two daytime naps. However, some babies drop their morning nap at around 12 to 15 months, so your 14-month-old may be ready for just one afternoon nap.

If your baby is overtired, they may also fight sleep. Babies can become overtired when their naps are too short, or if they are not getting enough active awake time. If your baby is overtired, they may get a "second wind" and become hyper or have bursts of energy. It is important to spot the signs that your baby is drowsy, such as yawning, ear pulling, eye rubbing, thumb sucking, and fussing.

It is also important to consider whether your baby is getting enough stimulation during the day. Fussiness can be a sign that your baby is understimulated, undertired, and not ready for sleep. Try to track your baby's wake windows to see if there is a pattern to their sleep fighting.

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