Big Day, Big Stress: Why Can't I Sleep?

why can t i sleep before a big day

There's nothing more frustrating than tossing and turning the night before a big day. Whether it's a presentation, exam, job interview, or even a vacation, it's common to find yourself struggling to sleep. This phenomenon is known as special event insomnia, and it's often driven by performance anxiety and stress. Our bodies and minds get revved up in preparation for big events, triggering a fight-or-flight response that can override our sleepiness. This can be further exacerbated by anxiety, with our minds spiralling into worries about potential negative outcomes.

However, it's important to remember that a good night's sleep before a big day is not always as crucial as we think. While it may seem counterintuitive, sometimes the best approach to getting a good night's rest is to stop trying so hard to fall asleep.

Characteristics Values
Trying too hard to sleep Sends a message to the brain that there is a problem
Subconscious links Early life experiences that drive thoughts and beliefs about sleep
Exaggerated beliefs about the consequences of poor sleep Fear of negative impacts of poor sleep
Anxiety and night-before jitters The more meaningful the event, the greater the anxiety
Performance anxiety Worrying about sleep performance
Stress Releases norepinephrine (adrenaline)
Worrying about the future Worrying about the future performance and its consequences
Insomnia Special event insomnia
Sleep hygiene Daily habits that facilitate good sleep

shunsleep

Performance anxiety

Additionally, people with higher levels of general anxiety, known sleep disorders, or gastrointestinal issues like reflux are more prone to experiencing pre-event insomnia. The act of trying too hard to fall asleep can also be counterproductive, as it sends a message to the brain that there is a problem, activating problem-solving mode instead of sleep mode. Exaggerated beliefs about the consequences of poor sleep can further fuel anxiety and make it harder to relax.

To manage performance anxiety and improve sleep before a big day, here are some strategies:

  • Manage your sleep hygiene: Maintain good sleep habits during the day leading up to the event. This includes avoiding caffeine in the afternoon, dimming lights in the evening, steering clear of screens an hour before bed, and ensuring your bed is reserved for sleeping and sex.
  • Cut off event preparation: Set a hard stop for event preparation a few hours before your bedtime. This allows your mind to switch into sleep mode and prevents you from staying up too late. Engage in relaxing activities before bed to distract yourself from worries.
  • Normalize sleep struggles: Recognize that it is normal and natural to struggle with sleep before a big event. Knowing that others in similar situations may also be experiencing sleep difficulties can provide comfort and help reduce feelings of isolation.
  • Stick to your pre-bed routine: Maintain your usual bedtime routine, such as meditation, journaling, or having a hot tea. Consistency and routine are beneficial for promoting good sleep.
  • Reframe your perspective: Remember that a lack of sleep before a big event is not the end of the world. Stressing over sleep will often backfire, so try to take the pressure off yourself. Your brain will still rally even after a less-than-ideal night of sleep, and you will likely be able to perform well.

shunsleep

Trying too hard to sleep

The harder you try to relax and transition into sleep, the more you worry about losing sleep time, and the more elusive sleep becomes. Sleep specialists refer to this as "pre-event insomnia", which tends to strike people with higher levels of anxiety, known sleep disorders, and gastrointestinal issues.

The best approach is to accept that it would be great to get a good night's sleep, but if you don't, it's not the end of the world. Most people can function after a night or two of poor sleep. If you can take the pressure off yourself to get a full night's rest, you'll be more likely to achieve it.

If you're having trouble sleeping, it can be helpful to get out of bed and walk to another quiet, dark place in your house. Pay attention to your breathing and let your mind wander. You'll find that your thoughts come and go, and this can be relaxing.

Fish Sleep With Eyes Open: Why?

You may want to see also

shunsleep

Stress and worry

The brain is wired to anticipate, using information from the past and present to predict the future. If the brain perceives the stress of a big day as being greater than your capacity to adapt, you will likely experience an increased stress response, which will negatively impact your sleep quality and quantity. When the brain is unable to create and trust expectations, the result is anticipatory anxiety. The brain believes there are unknowns that need to be prepared for, and that anticipating them may offer protection.

Situations that commonly provoke anticipatory anxiety include social occasions, professional situations, travel, and doctors' appointments. However, the situation itself is often not the issue. The perception of stress is critical, and may be more important than the stressor. Uncertainty, previous trauma, and situations with negative outcomes in the past can all cause anticipatory anxiety.

People who are prone to intrusive thoughts may also experience more intense anxiety, as these thoughts bring unwanted emotions and fears into play. This can disrupt the brain's ability to predict and calm the fight-or-flight system. If left unchecked, anticipatory anxiety can develop into restless sleep, making the following day more challenging.

  • Sleep with a weighted blanket: Research suggests that weighted blankets can reduce insomnia severity and anxiety symptoms, possibly by mimicking the feeling of being cared for, which encourages the rest-and-digest response.
  • Interrupt anxious thoughts with relaxation and meditation: Distract your mind by focusing on your breath and physical sensations. Techniques like box breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and counting your breaths backward from a high number can help interrupt anxious thoughts and reduce the physiological reaction.
  • Write down your worries: Journaling a to-do list or creating an action plan can help interrupt intrusive thoughts by distinguishing realistic fears from those that are not. Having a plan can reduce anxiety, pre-sleep stress, and rumination.
  • Talk to someone: Talk therapy or reaching out to a supportive person in your life can help you verbalize and transfer your anxiety, thereby reducing its intensity. Ensure you choose someone who will not be critical or minimize your feelings, as this can worsen anticipatory anxiety.
  • Take the next day off: If anxiety is impacting your sleep to the point of potential burnout, consider taking time off for self-care. Knowing you have more time to prepare for an event can help relax your mind and recoup energy.
  • Engage in a relaxing bedtime routine: Establishing a nightly ritual can help your brain associate the routine with sleep. Incorporate soothing activities like reading or yoga, but avoid electronic devices, as the blue light can delay melatonin production.
  • Maintain a consistent sleep schedule: Stick to the same bedtime and wake-up time, especially in the week leading up to the big day. This helps your body entrain to these times, making it easier to fall asleep.
  • Practice emotional regulation or problem-solving: If you are waiting for an uncontrollable event, such as test results, focus on emotion regulation techniques. This involves allowing your feelings to be and training your mind to respond calmly to any situation. For controllable events, try problem-focused coping by blocking off time in advance to address any concerns.
  • Practice good sleep hygiene: Avoid caffeine in the late afternoon or evening, go to bed and wake up at consistent times, limit screen time before bed, and create a comfortable and quiet sleep environment.
  • Let go of sleep expectations: Insomnia is often caused by the fear of not sleeping. Accept that it is okay to be tired, and don't give power to the lack of sleep. Remember that one night of missed sleep has a minimal impact on your performance.

shunsleep

Sleep hygiene

Set a Sleep Schedule

Having a set sleep schedule helps normalise sleep as an essential part of your day and gets your brain and body accustomed to getting the full amount of sleep that you need. Here are some ways to improve your sleep schedule:

  • Have a fixed wake-up time: Try to wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. A fluctuating schedule disrupts your body's natural rhythm.
  • Prioritise sleep: Avoid skipping sleep to work, study, socialise, or exercise. Calculate a target bedtime based on your fixed wake-up time and prepare for bed around that time each night.
  • Make gradual adjustments: If you want to shift your sleep times, do so gradually in small steps, adjusting by up to an hour or two at a time to settle into a new schedule comfortably.
  • Don't overdo it with naps: While naps can be energising, they can also disrupt your nighttime sleep. Keep naps short and limited to the early afternoon.

Follow a Nightly Routine

A pre-sleep routine can help you unwind and relax before bedtime, making it easier to fall asleep. Here are some tips for a good nightly routine:

  • Keep your routine consistent: Follow the same steps each night, such as putting on your pyjamas, brushing your teeth, and other activities that signal to your mind that it's bedtime.
  • Budget time for winding down: Engage in activities that calm you, such as soft music, light stretching, reading, or relaxation exercises, for 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime.
  • Dim the lights: Avoid bright lights as they can hinder melatonin production, a hormone that facilitates sleep.
  • Unplug from electronics: Take a break from electronic devices like phones, tablets, and laptops, as they cause mental stimulation and emit blue light, both of which can disrupt sleep.
  • Test methods of relaxation: Instead of forcing yourself to sleep, focus on relaxation techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, paced breathing, or other activities that calm your mind and body.
  • Don't toss and turn: If you can't fall asleep within 20 minutes, get up and do something calming in low light, like reading or stretching, before trying again.

Cultivate Healthy Daily Habits

In addition to your bedtime habits, incorporating positive routines during the day can also enhance your sleep quality. Here are some daily habits to consider:

  • Get daylight exposure: Natural light, especially sunlight, is a key driver of circadian rhythms that encourage quality sleep.
  • Be physically active: Regular exercise improves sleep quality and delivers numerous health benefits. However, avoid vigorous exercise within 90 minutes of bedtime as it may keep you awake.
  • Reduce alcohol and caffeine consumption: Alcohol and caffeine are stimulants that can disrupt sleep. Limit alcohol consumption, especially later in the evening, and avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening.
  • Don't dine late: Eating a large, heavy, or spicy meal close to bedtime can disrupt sleep and cause acid reflux. Keep any food or snacks before bed light.
  • Restrict in-bed activity: Using your bed only for sleep and sex helps strengthen the mental association between your bed and sleep, making it easier to fall asleep.

Optimise Your Bedroom

Your sleep environment plays a crucial role in sleep hygiene. Here are some ways to create a sleep-friendly bedroom:

  • Comfortable mattress and pillow: Choose a mattress and pillow that provide comfort and support, ensuring they are replaced regularly (every 10 years or so).
  • Excellent bedding: Choose sheets and blankets that match your preferences, making sure they are comfortable and conducive to sleep.
  • Set a cool temperature: A cooler temperature, around 60-67°F (15.6-19.4°C), is generally optimal for sleeping.
  • Block out light: Use heavy curtains or an eye mask to prevent light from interrupting your sleep.
  • Drown out noise: Use earplugs, a white noise machine, or a fan to block out noise and create a peaceful sleep environment.
  • Try calming scents: Light scents like lavender may induce a calmer state of mind and promote relaxation before sleep.
Don't Sleep: A Movie Spoiler Alert!

You may want to see also

shunsleep

Circadian rhythm and sleep drive

The human body's natural sleep-wake cycle is regulated by an internal clock known as the circadian rhythm. This rhythm is influenced by the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), a group of cells in the hypothalamus that respond to light and dark signals. When our eyes perceive light, the retinas send a signal to the SCN, which in turn triggers a chain reaction of hormone production and suppression that affects body temperature, appetite, sleep drive, and more.

The circadian rhythm works in tandem with sleep/wake homeostasis, which balances our need for sleep (sleep drive or sleep pressure) with our need for wakefulness. As we stay awake for longer, our sleep drive increases, and it decreases as we sleep. This drive is influenced by factors such as age, hormone imbalances, and disruptions to our circadian rhythm.

The circadian rhythm and sleep/wake homeostasis together determine our alertness levels throughout the day. On average, people tend to feel most tired just after midnight and during the afternoon slump. However, we can feel equally alert at 4:00 p.m. as we might have at 10:00 a.m., even after being awake for several hours, thanks to the influence of the circadian rhythm.

Exposure to artificial light outside of daytime hours can disrupt our circadian rhythm and, consequently, our sleep drive. This is because light impacts the production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep. When our eyes perceive light, the SCN suppresses melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep.

Frequently asked questions

Written by
Reviewed by

Explore related products

Share this post
Print
Did this article help you?

Leave a comment