Colin Snow
Sleep is an important factor in a 21-month-old's development, and a lack of it can affect their mood. While there is no one-size-fits-all bedtime for toddlers, there are several reasons why a 21-month-old might not be sleeping, including separation anxiety, teething, illness, or discomfort. A 21-month-old might also be resisting sleep due to increased independence and a fear of missing out on fun. It's important to stick to a consistent sleep schedule and bedtime rituals, and ensure your toddler is getting enough physical activity during the day to promote healthy sleep habits.
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What You'll Learn
Sleep regression
At 21 months, toddlers typically need about 12.5 hours of total sleep in a 24-hour period. This includes 10-12 hours of nighttime sleep and 1.5-2.5 hours of daytime sleep during their midday nap. However, it's important to note that every child is unique, and their sleep needs may vary.
If your 21-month-old is experiencing sleep regression, there could be several contributing factors. Separation anxiety, developmental milestones, teething, and illness are common reasons for sleep regression at this age. Additionally, if your toddler is getting too much daytime sleep or not building enough sleep pressure before bed, they might wake up for long stretches during the night.
To address sleep regression, it's important to remain consistent with routines and boundaries. While it may be tempting to introduce new habits during this challenging period, doing so could lead to long-term struggles. Instead, focus on providing a safe and comfortable sleep environment, addressing any fears or anxieties your toddler may have, and ensuring they are well-rested during the day to promote better nighttime sleep.
Remember that sleep regression is a phase, and it is developmentally normal. It won't last forever, and with patience, consistency, and some trial and error, you can help your toddler navigate through this challenging period and improve their sleep habits.
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Separation anxiety
The signs and symptoms of separation anxiety vary from child to child and depend on their age. Common symptoms include increased clinginess, crying, and sleep struggles. Older toddlers and preschoolers may experience separation anxiety during times of big life changes, such as starting school or moving to a new place, while younger toddlers may struggle with the concept of object permanence, or the understanding that their caregiver still exists even when they are out of sight.
To help your child cope with separation anxiety, you can nurture your bond and promote their independence. Practicing leaving the room and coming back, playing games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek, and providing extra cuddles and kisses during the day can all help. Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule and bedtime routine is also important, as it provides a sense of security and comfort for your child.
Additionally, introducing a comfort object or "transitional object," such as a blanket or soft toy, can provide your child with a sense of security during stressful transitions. Children often pick their own comfort objects between 8-12 months and seek emotional comfort from them for years. However, it is important to note that loveys or transitional objects are not safe for sleep under 12 months.
While separation anxiety is a normal part of development, it can be challenging for both parents and children. Remember that this phase will pass, and the best thing you can do is guide your child through it and seek professional help if needed.
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Fear of the dark
Sleep regression is a common phenomenon in toddlers, and it can occur at various ages, including 18 months, 2 years, and even 3 years. During these periods, toddlers may exhibit resistance to bedtime, fight naps, wake up multiple times during the night, or wake up too early in the morning. While sleep regression can be challenging for parents, it is important to remember that it is a normal part of child development.
One common issue that can contribute to sleep regression in toddlers is a fear of the dark. This fear often arises as toddlers' imaginations start to develop rapidly, usually between the ages of 2 and 3. During this stage, toddlers may struggle to distinguish between fantasy and reality, leading to fears of monsters, ghosts, or other imaginary creatures lurking in the dark.
To help your 21-month-old toddler cope with a fear of the dark, there are several strategies you can try:
- Use of night lights: A night light can make your toddler's room seem less scary and provide a sense of comfort. Opt for a dim red light, as red lights are shown to be less disruptive to sleep.
- Security objects: Offer your toddler a favourite stuffed animal or a security blanket to help them feel more secure and relaxed throughout the night.
- Comfort and reassurance: When your toddler wakes up feeling scared, go to them, offer comfort, and reassure them that there are no monsters and that they are safe.
- Positive associations: Engage in fun activities that create positive associations with the dark, such as treasure hunts for glow-in-the-dark objects or hunting for fireflies in the backyard.
- Relaxation techniques: Teach your toddler simple breathing exercises or relaxation techniques to help them calm down when they feel scared.
- Pretend play and reading: During the day, use pretend play or read books together to act out ways to overcome fears and discuss how characters deal with similar situations.
- Mindful media consumption: Be mindful of what your toddler watches, listens to, or interacts with during the day. Something that seems harmless to adults can sometimes trigger or increase fears around the dark for toddlers.
- Consistent routine: Maintain a consistent bedtime routine and hold firm to healthy sleep boundaries.
Remember, it is important to respect your child's fears and provide comfort and reassurance. By understanding their fears and implementing these strategies, you can help your 21-month-old toddler feel more secure and eventually overcome their fear of the dark.
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Teething pain
Teething is a normal part of your baby's development. It is the process of your baby's teeth breaking through their gums. Teething can cause pain, discomfort, fussiness, drooling, and irritability. It can also cause difficulty sleeping.
Breast milk can also help soothe the teething process, and some breastfed babies may want to feed for longer. However, other babies may find sucking painful for their gums and may need to bottle-feed instead. If your baby is breastfed, rubbing your finger in cold water before feeding could prevent them from nipple chewing. Offering water from a sippy cup is another option for babies older than 6-9 months.
It is important to note that you should never put anything in your baby's mouth that is not specifically designed to help soothe teething. Some products marketed as teethers or teething aids may contain unsafe substances like lead. Always look for teethers made of rubber. Additionally, stay away from over-the-counter teething gels and liquids that contain benzocaine, as the FDA advises against giving this ingredient to children under 2 due to potential serious side effects.
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Lack of consistent routine
Sleep regression is a common phenomenon among toddlers, and it can occur at various ages, including 4 months, 8 months, 18 months, 2 years, and 3 years. The 2-year-old sleep regression, in particular, is associated with significant developmental milestones and cognitive changes. While it is a normal part of a child's progression, it can be challenging for parents and caregivers.
For a 21-month-old, sleep regression can manifest as a lack of consistent routine. This may include resisting bedtime, fighting naps, increased night waking, and early morning awakenings. The causes can vary, but one common factor is the need for a schedule adjustment. Toddlers are going through a lot of changes, including the development of new physical skills, increased independence, and a more active imagination. They are also learning that they have some power, which can lead to limit testing and a desire for control.
To address sleep regression and establish a consistent routine, it is essential to maintain firm boundaries and consistent routines. While it may be tempting to introduce new habits during this time, doing so can create long-term struggles. Instead, focus on responding patiently and consistently to your child's nighttime antics. This period of sleep regression will likely pass within 1 to 3 weeks if you maintain consistency.
Additionally, it is important to ensure that your toddler is not overtired. Evaluate their nap schedule and bedtime to ensure they are getting adequate rest. You can gradually adjust their sleep schedule, making earlier bedtimes a priority. A well-rested child is more likely to be cooperative during the bedtime routine.
Lastly, consider other factors that may be causing sleep disturbances. For example, teething pain, separation anxiety, or fear of the dark could be impacting your toddler's sleep. Addressing these underlying issues can help improve their sleep quality.
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Frequently asked questions
It could be that your toddler is experiencing the "2-year-old sleep regression", a phenomenon where toddlers go through a sudden change in sleep patterns, including bedtime resistance, fighting naps, and increased night wakings. This is a normal part of toddler development.
Sleep regressions generally last for a few weeks, and sometimes even just a few days. It's important to remember that it won't last forever.
There can be several causes, including:
- Teething pain and discomfort.
- Separation anxiety.
- Developmental progression—your toddler is learning new physical and cognitive skills, and their imagination is developing, which can lead to fears of the dark or monsters.
- Major life changes, such as the introduction of a sibling, starting a new school or daycare, or potty training.
Here are some strategies that may help:
- Maintain a consistent bedtime routine and hold firm to boundaries.
- Spend 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with your toddler during the day to give them the attention they crave.
- Make sure your toddler is getting enough sleep during the day. If they drop their nap too early, they may wake up more at night.
- Move bedtime earlier to prevent overtiredness.
- Limit the number of books or activities before bed to avoid overstimulation.
Here are some additional tips:
- Respect your child's fears. Reassure them that you're nearby and that monsters aren't real, without suggesting their room is a scary place.
- Play in their bedroom more often so they associate it with positive experiences.
- Keep their body and brain active during the day to help with consolidated sleep.
- If your toddler is climbing out of their crib, lower the mattress or consider transitioning them to a toddler-sized bed.
