Sleep Training: Is It Necessary For Your Child's Development?

Sleep training is a highly personal choice. It is not mandatory and many cultures practice bed-sharing and allow their children to fall asleep when it comes naturally to them. If your baby sleeps well and wakes up feeling refreshed, there is no need to enforce formal sleep training. However, if you feel stressed, burnt-out, or exhausted, and feel that the current trajectory is not sustainable, then it may be time to consider sleep training.

You can still have a strong bond with your baby

Sleep training is a highly personal choice. It is important to remember that every baby is different, and the decision to use sleep training methods may vary based on your baby's individual needs and your own parenting style. If you are offering your baby ample opportunities to get the sleep they need, and they wake feeling refreshed, there is no need to enforce formal sleep training.

Pros of not sleep training

• Baby may fall into the natural rhythms of your life/patterns if they are a fairly flexible/easy-going child.
• Ample opportunity for physical touch between child and caregiver.
• Baby may be more flexible to schedule changes or sleeping on the go/disturbances from off days may be less noticeable depending on what sleep typically looks like.
• Less stressful or pressure for the caregiver as long as there are minimal sleep disturbances.
• Breastfeeding dyads may have an easier time maintaining milk supply.
• May be more in line with your parenting "style".

Cons of not sleep training

• Baby may rely on external sleep props to fall asleep and stay asleep (rocking, feeding, etc).
• Caregiver may find it difficult to attend to other children/chores if the baby is dependent on them to sleep longer stretches.
• Fragmented sleep for the caregiver.
• Caregiver may feel "touched out" or "burned out" if the baby is unable to sleep without their assistance.
• May have difficulty with other caregivers providing sleep opportunities.

Research has shown that parental presence at the time that a child falls asleep at bedtime is a significant predictor of increased night wakings. However, if your baby has the ability to fall asleep without your assistance, when they do wake and don’t have any immediate needs, they can just resettle and go back to sleep without signalling to you, which leads to less disrupted sleep for all parties.

If you are in an unsustainable sleep situation but are uncomfortable with the idea of sleep training, there are ways to improve sleep without behavioural interventions. Non-behavioural sleep training interventions include:

• Optimising the sleep environment.
• Age-appropriate sleep timing.
• Avoiding overtiredness.
• Focusing on feedings (consistent, full, well-timed).
• Establishing a pre-sleep routine.

Your baby may fall into the natural rhythms of your life

If you don't sleep train your baby, they may fall into the natural rhythms of your life. This means that your baby will sleep when they feel tired and wake up when they feel rested. This can be a great option if your baby is flexible and easy-going, as it can reduce stress for both you and your baby. It can also allow for more physical touch between you and your baby, which can help to strengthen your bond. Additionally, if your baby sleeps well without sleep training, you may find it easier to maintain your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.

However, there can also be some challenges to not sleep training. For example, your baby may rely on external sleep props, such as rocking or feeding, to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can make it difficult for them to fall asleep without your assistance, leading to fragmented sleep for you. It may also be more difficult for other caregivers to provide sleep opportunities if your baby is dependent on you to sleep.

Ultimately, the choice to sleep train or not is a personal one. Many babies sleep well without formal sleep training, and it is important to do what feels right for you and your family. If you are offering your baby ample opportunities to get the sleep they need, and they wake up feeling refreshed, there is no need to enforce formal sleep training.

There will be ample opportunity for physical touch between you and your baby

If you don't sleep train your baby, there will be ample opportunity for physical touch between you and your baby. This can be beneficial for both of you. For the baby, physical touch is crucial for their development and well-being. It helps them feel loved, secure, and comforted, promoting healthy emotional and physical growth. For the caregiver, physical touch can foster a strong bond with the baby and reduce stress.

Touch is one of the first senses that babies develop, and it plays a vital role in their growth and development. Through touch, babies learn about their environment and form attachments with their caregivers. Physical touch can help regulate their body temperature, heart rate, and breathing. It also stimulates the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," which promotes bonding and trust.

By not sleep training, you create more opportunities for this essential physical connection. You can hold, rock, and cuddle your baby to sleep, meeting their need for comfort and security. This can be especially beneficial if you're breastfeeding, as it can help maintain your milk supply and make breastfeeding a more intimate and calming experience for both of you.

Not sleep training allows you to respond to your baby's cries and attend to their needs promptly. It gives you the flexibility to adapt to their natural sleep patterns and rhythms, fostering a more relaxed and harmonious relationship. This approach may be more in line with your parenting style and can enhance the bond between you and your baby.

However, it's important to remember that every baby and family is unique. While not sleep training can work well for some, others may find it challenging. Caregivers may experience fragmented sleep, burnout, or difficulty attending to other children or chores if the baby becomes dependent on them for longer sleep stretches. Ultimately, the decision to sleep train or not should be based on what works best for your family and your baby's individual needs.

Your baby may be more flexible to schedule changes

If you choose not to sleep train, it does not mean that things will inevitably fall apart. Many cultures practice bed-sharing and allow their children to fall asleep when it comes naturally to them. If you are offering your baby ample opportunities to get the sleep they need, and they wake up feeling refreshed, there is no need to enforce formal sleep training.

If your baby is a fairly flexible and easy-going child, they may fall into the natural rhythms of your life and patterns. This means that if you have an off day or need to change your schedule, your baby will be more adaptable to these changes and disturbances may be less noticeable.

This flexibility can be beneficial when it comes to sleeping on the go. If your baby is used to falling asleep in different environments, they may be more likely to be able to continue this while you are on the move or travelling.

Overall, by embracing your baby's natural sleep patterns, you can foster a strong bond, reduce stress, and enjoy a more flexible parenting experience.

You can still breastfeed

Breastfeeding and sleep training are not mutually exclusive. You can do both, and it is completely possible to have both in your toolkit. Sleep training is a tool, not a requirement, and it is only applicable when the baby needs help to sleep, or when the parents' sleep is affected. If you are comfortable with your baby's sleep habits, then there is no need to sleep train.

Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do, but it comes with its fair share of questions. Here are some tips to make nighttime feedings easier:

• Keep a donut-shaped nursing pillow on or near your bed, or use a "husband" back pillow with arms on each side.
• Keep the room dimly lit and any noises (talking, singing, etc.) to a minimum. This will help your baby realize that nighttime is for sleeping, not playing, and can help your baby fall back to sleep sooner.
• If you think your baby is asleep and hasn't finished nursing, try undressing your baby and rubbing their back, tickling their feet, changing their diaper, or switching to the other breast.
• Gently compress or massage your breast at the end of feeding to encourage your baby to drink more.
• If your baby latches on wrong and falls asleep at the breast, break the suction and reposition your baby onto your breast to include both your nipple and areola.

Remember, it is important to put your baby to sleep in your room without sharing a bed. Bed-sharing puts babies at risk of suffocation, strangulation, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Experts recommend room-sharing for at least the first 6 months of life, especially if you are breastfeeding. Here are some ideas:

• Put a bassinet, play yard, or crib next to your bed. This lets you keep the desired closeness that makes it easier to breastfeed at night and also lowers your baby's risk of SIDS.
• Buy a bassinet or play yard with one side that is lower, which attaches to your bed, allowing you to be next to your baby without the chance of rolling over onto them.

Weaning

If you want to wean from breastfeeding, that is your choice, and it is important to do what feels right for you and your family. However, it is not necessary to wean in order to sleep train. You can sleep train while keeping feedings overnight, and it is not breastfeeding itself that causes sleep disturbances, but rather the "to sleep" part, i.e., falling asleep while breastfeeding.

If you want to cut down on nighttime feeds, you can do so gradually as your baby grows and their dietary needs evolve. But remember, you set the pace based on your family's unique dynamics.

Nurturing Independent Sleep Habits

If you want to encourage your baby to sleep independently, try disassociating the feeding-sleep duo. For example, during bedtime, make the feeding the start of the sleep routine, so your baby doesn't link eating with falling asleep. Similarly, when it comes to naptime, having a feeding around 30 minutes before sleep can help your baby learn to fall asleep without needing to feed.

In the first few months of life, it is practically impossible to keep a nursing baby awake when they are satisfied with a full belly. But as babies grow, encourage them to sleep on their own by putting them down for naps and bed slightly awake. This teaches babies to get used to falling asleep on their own. Create a familiar and relaxing bedtime routine, such as bathing, reading, and singing, which will signal an end to the day.

Sleep Training Methods

There are various methods of sleep training, and it is important to find one that works for you and your baby. Some people may choose to let their baby "cry it out", while others may prefer a more gradual approach. Some tips for sleep training while breastfeeding include:

• Replacing feeding with something like rocking to sleep or patting to sleep in the crib. This will take time, consistency, and likely some tears to change that habit.
• Making behavioural changes to sleep, such as moving the feeding earlier in the routine to disassociate feeding from sleep and responding to crying to calm the baby rather than putting them to sleep.

Frequently asked questions