Crying Babies: Self-Soothing Or Parent's Role?

is it ok for newborn to cry themselves to sleep

Sleep training is a controversial topic, and many parents wonder if it is okay to let their newborn cry themselves to sleep. The cry-it-out method, also known as graduated extinction, is a sleep-training strategy that involves preparing a baby for the night and then letting them cry themselves to sleep without intervention. While some parents view this method as cruel or dangerous, fearing it could raise an infant's stress levels and cause future behavioural issues, studies suggest that it is generally safe and does not harm the baby or damage their relationship with their parents.

Is it ok for newborns to cry themselves to sleep?

Characteristics Values
Cry-it-out method Leaving the baby to cry without intervention from parents
Sleep training Should not be started until the baby reaches the age of 12 weeks and a weight of 12 pounds
Circadian rhythm A baby's circadian rhythm matures during the first 12-16 weeks of life
Sleep training methods Bedtime fading, graduated extinction, camping out, parental education
Crying as a precursor to sleep Crying can help babies process an active day, settle down, and fall asleep
Crying as a form of communication Babies cry to communicate their wants or needs, such as a hug or feed
Self-soothing Babies can develop self-soothing abilities from around six months of age
Parental concerns Some parents view the cry-it-out method as cruel or dangerous, worrying about the potential impact on their baby's stress levels and future behavioral problems
Scientific studies A 2016 study found no significant differences in attachment or emotional issues in babies who used the cry-it-out method
Cortisol levels Babies who self-soothed had lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, compared to the control group
Sleep improvement The cry-it-out method may result in babies falling asleep earlier and experiencing better sleep within the first week
Gentler approaches Gentler sleep training methods are available, such as camping out and parental education
Individual differences The decision to use the cry-it-out method depends on what works best for the baby, family, and the baby's temperament
Parental education Educating parents about baby sleep can lead to better sleep outcomes for newborns at 3 and 6 months

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The cry-it-out method is a legitimate sleep-training strategy

The cry-it-out method is often referred to as the "extinction method" or "unmodified extinction," and it is one of several sleep-training techniques available to parents. It is important to remember that this method is not intended to be cruel but rather serves as a tool to teach self-soothing techniques that will benefit the child in the long run. By jumping into action at every outburst, caregivers may inadvertently establish a pattern that becomes challenging to break, potentially leading to reliance on external factors for the child to fall asleep.

While the cry-it-out method may be suitable for some families, it is essential to recognize that it is not the only option and may not be the best fit for every family. There are alternative sleep-training methods available, such as bedtime fading, which can be considered based on individual preferences and circumstances. It is crucial to make informed decisions and exercise judgment when selecting a sleep-training approach, keeping in mind the well-being of both the caregivers and the baby.

Recent studies provide reassurance to concerned parents, indicating that letting babies cry themselves to sleep does not cause harm or provoke future behavioral problems. Research suggests that babies who self-soothe to sleep do not exhibit greater signs of attachment or emotional issues, and their stress hormone levels (cortisol) are lower compared to the control group. These findings highlight that while the cry-it-out method may be challenging for parents, it can lead to better sleep for babies and improved overall well-being.

When considering the cry-it-out method, it is advisable to ensure that all caregivers are on the same page and committed to following the chosen approach consistently. This includes agreeing on a bedtime routine, timeline, and responses to the baby's cues. Additionally, it is important to meet the baby's essential needs, such as feeding and a clean diaper, before implementing the cry-it-out method. While this method can lead to quick results, it is not suitable for newborns and should only be introduced when the baby is older than 12 weeks, weighing at least 12 pounds, and displaying signs of readiness for sleep training.

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Crying is a natural form of communication for babies

Crying is the primary means of communication for newborns. It is how they express their needs and emotions, and it is a natural part of their development. Crying can indicate that a baby is hungry, tired, uncomfortable, or in need of attention and comfort. It is important for caregivers to respond to a baby's cries and try to meet their needs.

That being said, it is also natural for parents to feel overwhelmed or exhausted, especially if their baby cries frequently or for extended periods. In these situations, it is okay to take a break and leave the baby in a safe space, such as a crib or playpen, while the caregiver takes a moment to collect themselves. It is important to remember that it is normal for newborns to cry and that it does not necessarily indicate that something is wrong.

However, there are times when a baby's crying may be a cause for concern. Excessive crying could be a sign of colic, reflux, or another medical issue. If a baby is crying constantly and cannot be consoled, or if their cry sounds unusual, it is important to seek advice from a healthcare professional. Keeping a record of when and how often a baby cries can be helpful for identifying any underlying issues.

While some sources suggest that the "cry-it-out" method of sleep training can be effective, it is generally recommended that this method is not used for newborns. Pediatricians advise that sleep training should not begin until a baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs at least 12 pounds, as their circadian rhythm is still maturing during the first 12-16 weeks of life. Instead, parents can focus on establishing healthy sleep fundamentals, such as creating a calm bedtime routine and a comfortable sleep environment.

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Crying can aid in processing an active day, settling down, and falling asleep

Crying is a natural form of communication for babies. While it might be difficult for parents to listen to, it can aid babies in processing an active day, settling down, and falling asleep.

The "cry-it-out" method is a sleep-training strategy that involves preparing your baby for the night and letting them cry themselves to sleep without any intervention from you, unless there is an emergency. This method is not recommended for newborns, as their sleep is very disorganized during the first 12-16 weeks of life while their circadian rhythm is maturing and they are adjusting to life outside the womb.

However, once your baby is older, short periods of crying can be helpful for them to process their day and settle down for sleep. Research has shown that babies who are left to self-soothe do not exhibit greater signs of attachment or emotional issues, and their levels of cortisol (a stress hormone) are lower than those in a control group. In fact, babies who self-soothe tend to fall asleep faster and get better quality sleep, resulting in improved mood and wellbeing for both babies and parents.

It is important to note that there are different views on how much to comfort your baby when they cry. Some sources recommend checking in on the baby to let them know they are okay, but not responding to the crying or soothing them. This is known as "controlled crying." Other sources suggest that physical contact, such as stroking or holding your baby, can be comforting. Ultimately, the decision to try sleep training and the specific approach to take are personal choices for each parent, and there are various gentler methods available if the "cry-it-out" approach does not align with your preferences or values.

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Crying may be a sign of illness or other issues like reflux or colic

While some sources suggest that it is okay to let your baby cry for short periods, and that it may even be beneficial for them to do so, crying may also be a sign of illness or other issues like reflux or colic. If your baby is crying constantly and you cannot console or distract them, or the cry does not sound like their normal cry, it can be a sign that they are ill. Other symptoms of illness may include a high temperature, rapid breathing, a throaty noise while breathing, violent sickness, or a high temperature with cold hands and feet. If you are concerned about your baby's crying, you should contact your health visitor or GP, or call an advice line such as NHS 111 in the UK.

Crying during feeds can sometimes be a symptom of reflux, a common condition where babies bring back milk after feeds. If you are breastfeeding, improving your baby's positioning and attachment may help them settle. You can also try joining a breastfeeding group or contacting a breastfeeding network for advice.

Excessive crying could also be a sign of colic, a condition that exists but has no known cause. Colic is characterised by miserable and distressed crying that stops for a moment or two and then starts up again, suggesting it could be caused by waves of stomach pain.

It is important to note that the cry-it-out method of sleep training is not recommended for newborns. Pediatricians advise waiting until your baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs 12 pounds before starting sleep training. This is because, during the first 12-16 weeks of life, a baby's circadian rhythm is still maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb.

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Gentler sleep-training methods are available and can be effective

While the ""cry-it-out" method is a well-known sleep-training strategy, gentler sleep-training methods are available and can be just as effective. These gentler approaches can help most babies and parents get more sleep, without the need for excessive crying.

One such method is "camping out," which involves having the parent sleep next to the baby's crib. This technique can provide comfort and reassurance to the baby, gradually helping them learn to fall asleep independently. Another approach is parental education, where parents learn about baby sleep patterns and behaviours. This can include understanding the different types of crying, such as the difference between a cry that indicates the need for attention and one that means the baby wants to be left alone.

Additionally, establishing a consistent and calming bedtime routine is essential. This can include activities such as reading a bedtime story, singing lullabies, or having a warm bath. A consistent routine helps signal to the baby that it is time for sleep, making it easier for them to settle down.

There are also gradual sleep-training methods that involve checking in on the baby at increasing intervals. For example, you can start by leaving the room for two minutes, then returning to reassure the baby, and gradually increasing the time intervals. This approach can be gentler for both babies and parents, as it allows for comfort and reassurance while still encouraging independent sleep.

It is important to remember that sleep training should not be started too early. Pediatricians recommend waiting until the baby is at least 12 weeks old and weighs 12 pounds, as this allows for the maturation of their circadian rhythm and adjustment to life outside the womb.

Frequently asked questions

It is not recommended to let a newborn cry it out. During the first 12-16 weeks of life, your baby's circadian rhythm is maturing, and they are adjusting to life outside the womb while learning the difference between night and day. This means their sleep is very disorganized and sleep training won't work well.

Pediatricians recommend you don’t start sleep training, including the cry-it-out method, until your baby has reached the age of 12 weeks and weighs at least 12 pounds. Some sources suggest that babies start to develop the ability for self-soothing from around the age of six months.

The cry-it-out method is a sleep-training strategy that involves preparing your baby for the night and letting them cry themselves to sleep without any intervention from you unless there is an emergency. This method works best when your baby is fully ready for sleep training, and their natural sleep cycle will even out, leading to a more regular sleep pattern.

Yes, there are several alternative sleep-training methods, including camping out, where the parent sleeps next to the baby's crib, and parental education, which involves educating parents about baby sleep. Gentler approaches, such as bedtime fading and graduated extinction, have also been found to be effective in helping babies fall asleep faster.

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