Romancing Astarion: A Guide Without Intimacy

how to romance astarion without sleeping with him

In Baldur's Gate 3, players have been curious about the possibility of romancing Astarion without engaging in sexual intimacy with him. While some players are interested in a slower burn romance, Astarion's character is initially disinterested in romance, and his story involves using people and being used. Players have experimented with different choices, such as declining his initial sexual proposition, which seems to cut off the romance entirely, and even locking them out of it permanently. However, some players wish for a different approach, where they could suggest taking things slowly or getting to know him better, without rejecting him outright. This would add a layer of complexity to the relationship dynamic and potentially open up new avenues for character development and consent within the game's narrative.

Characteristics Values
Astarion's interest in romance Not interested initially, uses people and is used by them
Player's options Decline his initial proposition, decline at the party, show care, or offer friendship
Impact of declining May cut off romance options, potentially locking the relationship as platonic
Player's preferences A slower approach, getting to know each other, showing care without sexual involvement
Astarion's potential response Turning down non-sexual advances due to lack of trust and understanding of normal relationships
Player's strategy Returning to an earlier save, triggering specific cutscenes, and managing approval ratings
Romance progression Earning Astarion's approval by understanding his backstory, consenting to feeding, and accepting his advances
Consequences Becoming a vampire spawn, receiving the Bite ability, and gaining the Happy condition

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Decline Astarion's initial sexual proposition, but continue to show him you care

To decline Astarion's initial sexual proposition but continue showing that you care, you can try the following approaches:

Firstly, it is important to understand Astarion's character and his initial mindset when it comes to relationships. He doesn't "know what love is" and is more focused on using people for his own gain. Keeping this in mind can help guide your interactions with him. When he first propositions you, opt to decline gently, indicating that you are tempted but would like to take things slow and get to know him better first. This approach acknowledges his proposition while also setting a boundary and expressing your desire to develop a deeper connection before becoming romantically involved.

In your subsequent interactions with Astarion, continue to demonstrate your care and interest in building a meaningful relationship. You can do this by expressing trust in him, which is something he highly values. Additionally, you can show your acceptance of his vampire nature by allowing him to drink your blood, even if it's just a small amount. However, be cautious, as allowing him to feed on you repeatedly can lead to dangerous consequences for your character.

Another way to show your interest and care for Astarion is by engaging in conversations that delve into his backstory, struggles, and self-image. These moments of vulnerability can help deepen your connection and foster a sense of intimacy that goes beyond physical attraction. For example, if you encounter Araj and choose not to sleep with Astarion, you may still have a "friend" version of the long-rest cutscene where he opens up about his relationship with sex and objectification. This conversation can lead to a platonic relationship dynamic, but it's worth noting that it may also lock you out of potential future romance, so be mindful of that possibility.

It's important to be aware that some players have reported challenges in pursuing a romantic relationship with Astarion without initially agreeing to his sexual proposition. The game's dialogue options and Astarion's character development seem to be geared towards a more physical approach to romance. However, by being thoughtful in your responses, expressing trust and vulnerability, and showing continued interest in his well-being, you may be able to foster a romantic connection that goes beyond just physical intimacy.

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Avoid all sexual advances in Act One, but meet Raphael in Act Two to unlock a romance scene

To romance Astarion without sleeping with him, players must navigate a careful path through the game, avoiding certain scenes and decisions that could lock them out of a future romance. One key step is to avoid all sexual advances in Act One, which can be challenging as Astarion makes a proposition early in the game. Players have reported that declining this proposition can make it harder to pursue a romance later on, but it is not impossible.

One strategy to unlock a romance scene after declining Astarion's initial advances is to meet Raphael in Act Two. This scene typically occurs in the Last Light Inn, or near the entrance to the Thorm Mausoleum if the player hasn't visited the haven. During this encounter, Raphael uses infernal magic to forcibly expose Astarion's upper body, revealing the scars that Astarion has been trying to decipher. This shared vulnerability can help to re-open the possibility of a romance, even if the player has previously rejected Astarion's advances.

It's worth noting that some players have expressed a desire for more dialogue options during Astarion's initial proposition, allowing them to express interest but also a desire to take things slowly. While this is not currently an option in the game, it highlights the desire of players to explore a more nuanced and slow-burn approach to the Astarion romance.

Additionally, players should be aware that certain decisions, such as allowing Astarion to feed on their blood, can impact the relationship. While this scene is not explicitly romantic, it does build trust and intimacy between the player character and Astarion, which can lead to further relationship development.

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Gain Astarion's approval by letting him drink your blood

Gaining Astarion's approval can be challenging, but letting him drink your blood is a sure way to get on his good side. Astarion is a vampire, and while he may attempt to feed on you in your sleep, you can also offer your neck to him willingly. This will earn you major approval points from Astarion, as it demonstrates that you trust him and don't view him as a monster.

However, letting Astarion feed on you comes with risks. If you fail to stop him from feeding on you twice consecutively, your character will die. In this case, you can use a Scroll of Revivify or pay Withers to bring you back to life, but this will result in a loss of approval. Additionally, if you push Astarion into drinking your blood, he may break up with you later for pushing his boundaries.

If you're looking to pursue a romance with Astarion without sleeping with him, it is possible, but it may require a slow burn approach. You'll need to make decisions with his approval in mind and maintain a consistent personality that appeals to his traits. Avoid all chances to sleep with Astarion in Act One, and focus on gaining his trust and understanding his motivations. During his special camp event, he may offer to turn you into his eternal vampire companion, and you can choose to accept or decline. Even if you decline, you can still pursue a romantic relationship with him.

It's worth noting that Astarion's romance scene in Act 3 is triggered by completing his companion quest and taking down his master, Cazador. During this quest, you'll have the option to let Astarion complete a ritual or stop it, which will impact the outcome of the quest. Astarion's romance is region-specific and may not occur in certain areas, such as the Shadowlands.

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Avoid sleeping with Astarion by declining to kneel when he asks

To avoid sleeping with Astarion, players must navigate a complex series of dialogue choices and actions, especially when it comes to his consent and the intentions behind the romance. One critical decision point is when Astarion asks the player character to kneel before him. Choosing to decline this request can significantly impact the romantic arc. Here is a guide to help you navigate this scenario:

Firstly, it is important to understand Astarion's character and his initial motivations. When players first meet him, he is portrayed as uninterested in romance and claims not to "know what love is." He is shown to be manipulative and using people for his gain. However, players can still express interest in him and attempt to pursue a romantic relationship.

When declining Astarion's request to kneel, players must be mindful of the consequences. Refusing to kneel can be seen as a rejection of his dominance and power, which may not align with his initial expectations of the relationship. This decision can lead to a potential roadblock in the romance, as Astarion might interpret it as a lack of trust or willingness to submit to his desires.

To mitigate this, players can carefully navigate the dialogue options to express their interest in Astarion while also setting boundaries. When declining to kneel, players can emphasize their desire to take things slow, get to know him better, or even suggest alternative ways to show affection. This approach aligns with the wishes of some players who have expressed a desire for a "slow-burn" romance with Astarion, allowing the relationship to develop over time.

It is worth noting that declining to kneel does not necessarily mean the end of the romantic arc. Players can still attempt to pursue Astarion by engaging in other dialogue options that express their interest and care for him. However, it may require more effort and commitment to unlock the full romance, as Astarion's character arc involves him learning about trust and developing emotional intimacy.

Lastly, it is important to remember that the game's dialogue options and Astarion's responses may vary depending on the player's choices and actions throughout the game. Each decision can impact the overall direction of the romance, and there may be multiple valid paths to achieving a successful romantic relationship with Astarion without sleeping with him. Players can explore different dialogue options, save their game frequently, and experiment with different approaches to find the path that aligns with their desired gameplay experience.

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As a True Soul, show Disciple Z'rell your lust for Astarion to gain his approval

As a player character in Baldur's Gate 3, you can arrive at Moonrise Towers as a True Soul. Here, you will encounter Disciple Z'rell, one of General Ketheric Thorm's closest aides. During your interaction, Z'rell will delve into your mind, searching for proof of your faith. At this point, you have the option to "Show her your lusts for Astarion", which will earn you Astarion's approval without progressing the romance.

This choice to express your desire for Astarion to Z'rell is a subtle way to hint at your interest in him without pursuing a physical relationship from the outset. It is an opportunity to explore the potential for a romantic connection without rushing into intimacy. By selecting this option, you are effectively communicating your attraction to Astarion and signalling your willingness to explore something deeper, all while maintaining a level of intrigue and anticipation.

However, it is important to note that Astarion, when first introduced, is depicted as uninterested in romance and claims to not "know what love is". His character is written as someone who uses people and allows himself to be used. This aspect of his character development sets the stage for a complex and intriguing romance arc.

Despite Astarion's initial disinterest in romance, players have expressed a desire for alternative options to approach the relationship. Some have suggested the option to decline his advances while still showing care and interest, opting for a slower burn romance. This could involve suggesting they take things slow, get to know each other, and develop a deeper connection before becoming physically intimate.

If you are seeking to navigate a romance with Astarion without immediately sleeping with him, showing your lust for him to Disciple Z'rell can be a strategic step. It sets the foundation for his approval and interest while allowing you to explore a more gradual development of your relationship.

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Frequently asked questions

It is unclear whether it is possible to romance Astarion without sleeping with him. Some players have tried declining his initial proposition and declining again later, but this seems to cut off the possibility of romance entirely, with no option to tell him you care.

Astarion is written as a character who is not interested in romance when you meet him. He does not know what love is and uses people. It is an important part of his story and skipping it would diminish his character.

Yes, you can show Astarion that you care by telling him that you trust him and by letting him drink your blood.

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