Herbie Murray
Co-sleeping is a popular practice that has been observed in many cultures around the world. It is a natural way of soothing a baby and helping them learn to breathe regularly, while also promoting bonding and healthy development. However, it is important to be aware of the risks involved and take the necessary precautions to ensure the safety of the baby. While co-sleeping can make breastfeeding easier, it is possible to co-sleep without nursing by following certain strategies and gradually helping the baby fall asleep independently.
Characteristics and Values of Co-Sleeping Without Nursing
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age of the baby | 2 months and above |
| Bed type | A bedside sleeper or a separate bassinet/crib |
| Bed-sharing | Avoid bed-sharing or co-sleeping, as it can make it harder for the baby to fall and stay asleep |
| Bedtime routine | Fix a consistent bedtime that incorporates a routine |
| Pacifier | Give the baby a pacifier to soothe them to sleep |
| Nighttime care | Provide nighttime care only as necessary |
| Environment | Dim lights, speak in a soft voice, and move minimally |
| Smoking | Co-sleeping with a parent who smokes increases the risk of SUDI, including SIDS |
| Alcohol and drug use | Co-sleeping while under the influence of alcohol or drugs increases the risk of SUDI |
| Extreme fatigue | Parents affected by extreme fatigue should not co-sleep |
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What You'll Learn
Focus on ensuring your baby is getting enough to eat
Ensuring your baby is getting enough to eat is crucial for their growth and development. While breastfeeding is often associated with co-sleeping, it is possible to co-sleep without nursing by focusing on your baby's nutritional needs. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you achieve this:
Understand Your Baby's Feeding Needs:
The first few weeks of a baby's life are unpredictable, and they will eat and sleep a lot due to their rapid growth. During this period, don't stress about keeping your baby awake after nursing. Instead, focus on responding to their feeding cues. As your baby approaches the two-month mark, they might start eating more during the day, leading to fewer nighttime feeds.
Monitor Weight Gain and Development:
Regular weight checks during clinic visits at 3-4 days, 2 weeks, and 2 months are essential for tracking your baby's growth. Comparing their weight to that of other babies of the same age can help assess if they are gaining weight normally. Typically, newborns should gain about an ounce a day or 4-7 ounces per week within the first few weeks to months.
Observe Feeding Behaviour:
Pay attention to your baby's signals of hunger or fullness. A baby who is getting enough might slow down, stop suckling, or turn away from the breast or bottle. As they get older, they will breastfeed less frequently and sleep longer at night. During growth spurts, they may want to feed more often, which is normal.
Check Diapers and Urine Colour:
Monitoring the number of wet diapers and the colour of urine can indicate if your baby is getting enough fluids. Pale urine colour suggests adequate fluid intake, while dark yellow or pinkish-orange urine may indicate dehydration, requiring immediate attention.
Observe Stool Changes:
Stool characteristics and frequency change within the first few weeks. Initially, the stool is black (meconium), then turns greenish, and later brownish. With breastfed babies, it transitions to a mustard-yellow colour with a seedy consistency. In the first week to month, breastfed babies usually have 2-3 stools per day.
Supplement with Vitamin D:
Babies who are exclusively breastfed should be given vitamin D supplements within the first few days of life. However, other supplements, water, juice, and solid foods are generally not needed in the first few months.
Avoid Overfeeding:
It is easier to overfeed a baby with a bottle than with breastfeeding. Ensure the hole in the bottle's nipple is the right size, allowing the liquid to drip slowly. Also, resist the urge to finish the bottle when your baby shows signs of fullness.
Seek Professional Advice:
If you have any concerns about your baby's feeding, weight gain, or development, consult your doctor or paediatrician. They can provide personalised advice and address any specific issues.
Remember, it is normal for babies' feeding patterns to vary, and your main focus should be on ensuring they are getting adequate nutrition. By observing their feeding behaviour, physical indicators, and seeking professional guidance, you can ensure your baby is getting enough to eat while co-sleeping without nursing.
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Gradually implement strategies to move away from nursing
If you are at the point where your baby is waking up multiple times a night and nursing is the only thing that will calm them, you are likely exhausted. Gradually implementing strategies to move away from nursing your baby to sleep will help your baby start taking quality naps and sleeping longer at night.
Firstly, it is important to ensure that your baby is getting plenty to eat. During the first 6-8 weeks of a baby's life, they will eat and sleep a lot as this is a period of rapid growth. It is not the time to stress about trying to keep your baby awake after nursing.
As your baby nears the 2-month mark, you can start spending more energy helping your baby learn to fall asleep independently without needing to nurse. You can do this by putting your baby to sleep when they are drowsy and tired, not already asleep. You can also try giving your baby a pacifier, which may help them fall asleep without nursing. Research has shown that pacifier use while sleeping can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
Another strategy is to fix a consistent bedtime that incorporates a routine. This can help your baby fall asleep without nursing and also relax them and regulate their sleep cycle. When putting your baby to bed, dim the lights, speak in a soft voice, and move minimally. This helps your baby understand that it is time to sleep and disassociate nursing and sleeping.
Finally, it is important to be patient and not get frustrated. It can take time to train your baby to fall asleep without the comfort of nursing.
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Help your baby learn to fall asleep independently
It is normal for young babies to nurse and sleep a lot, and it is okay if the first few weeks of your baby's life are anything but scheduled. However, as your baby nears the two-month mark, you can start helping them learn to fall asleep independently. Here are some tips to help your baby learn to fall asleep independently:
Establish a Sleep Routine
Establishing a sleep routine can help your baby fall asleep without nursing. Recognise your baby's daily sleep requirements, which vary depending on their age. For instance, infants from 0 to 2 months need 10.5 to 18 hours of sleep every day, while babies from 2 to 12 months need 14 to 15 hours. Set a consistent bedtime and incorporate a routine to help your baby relax and regulate their sleep cycle.
Break the Nursing/Sleep Association
The sucking action of nursing may soothe your baby to sleep. To break this association, you can try giving them a pacifier instead, which has the added benefit of reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). You can also try to keep your baby awake while they nurse. For instance, you can wait to swaddle or put them in a weighted sack until after they finish nursing.
Teach Your Baby to Self-Soothe
Put your baby in their crib when they are drowsy but still awake. This helps them associate the bed with sleep and reduces their need to nurse to sleep. If your baby starts to fuss, let them try to fall asleep on their own. If their crying continues for several minutes, go into their room, but keep the lights dim, speak in a soft voice, and move minimally. You can give them a gentle pat on the tummy and tell them to go back to sleep.
Break the Rocking/Sleep Association
If your baby is used to falling asleep while being rocked, you can start transitioning them to fall asleep without it. Start by rocking them until they are almost asleep, then stop and just sit, holding them calmly. If they protest, start rocking again. Repeat this process until they can fall asleep without rocking.
Be Patient
Teaching your baby to fall asleep independently takes time and patience. It can take several weeks for your baby to learn to put themselves back to sleep, and it may take 25 attempts or more to break the rocking/sleep association. Remember that it is normal for babies to need closeness and physical contact, and they will learn to self-soothe gradually.
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Set a consistent bedtime routine
A consistent bedtime routine is key to improving your child's sleep quality and quantity. It helps them relax and wind down, giving them a sense of security and teaching them how to fall asleep on their own. It also helps regulate your child's internal clock, making it easier for them to fall asleep and wake up naturally.
Firstly, choose a bedtime that allows for 7-9 hours of sleep and stick to it every night, even on weekends. You can use a reminder or an alarm on your phone to help establish this habit.
Your bedtime routine should consist of the same steps every night, or as many nights as possible. It can be as simple as having a cuddle and saying a sleep phrase such as "time for bed now", or it can include other activities like reading a book, singing a lullaby, or giving your child a goodnight kiss. You should leave the room while your child is sleepy but not yet asleep so they learn to fall asleep on their own.
If your child is used to being fed or rocked to sleep, you can gradually reduce your settling input before naps and bedtime. Feed or rock your baby until they are drowsy, then give them a chance to settle themselves. If they get upset, soothe them until they are calm and then give them another opportunity to self-settle.
There are plenty of simple and practical ways to improve your child's bedtime routine. Calming activities like reading, listening to calming music, or practising gentle stretches or yoga can help your child wind down and prepare for sleep. It's important to avoid heavy meals and alcoholic beverages before bed, as these can lead to indigestion and disrupt your child's sleep. Instead, offer a light snack like fruit or yoghurt, or a non-caffeinated herbal tea.
The blue light from electronic devices can also disrupt your child's sleep, so it's best to minimise screen time an hour before bed. You can turn on your phone's red-light filter or ensure that any content you or your child access before bed supports positive sleep, such as guided meditations or white noise apps.
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Provide a pacifier to soothe your baby to sleep
If you are co-sleeping with your baby, you may be looking for ways to help them fall asleep without nursing. One way to do this is by providing them with a pacifier to soothe them to sleep.
Pacifiers, also known as soothers, dummies, binkies, soo soos, and buttons, are popular for a good reason. Sucking is a normal reflex in newborn babies, and it helps them practice feeding from the breast or a bottle. Sucking without feeding, or non-nutritive sucking, is also natural for babies, and pacifiers can help to satisfy this urge.
If you are breastfeeding, it is recommended that you wait until you and your baby have established a nursing routine before introducing a pacifier, to avoid nipple confusion. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests waiting up to four weeks to reduce the risk of this. However, research has also shown that limiting pacifiers does not increase nursing success, and that nursing mothers who introduce pacifiers are just as successful with nursing as those who don't.
If you are providing a pacifier to your baby while co-sleeping, it is important to follow safety guidelines. Always place your baby on their back to sleep, and ensure that the pacifier is lightweight and easy for them to keep in their mouth. It is also recommended to choose a pacifier with ventilation holes, and to keep a few on hand so that you always have one available.
Remember, it is normal for babies to wake up multiple times a night, and it is important to ensure that your baby is getting enough to eat. As your baby grows and develops, they may naturally start sleeping for longer stretches at night and eating more during the day, and your milk supply will adjust to this.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended that babies sleep in their own safe sleeping space next to the parent's bed for the first 6 to 12 months of life. If you are co-sleeping, it is important to be aware of the risks and arrange the sleeping space to minimize these risks. Avoid co-sleeping on a sofa, couch, bean bag, or armchair as this increases the risk of a fatal sleeping accident. If your baby is old enough, they likely do not need to be nursed to sleep.
The sucking action of nursing may soothe your baby to sleep. By giving them a pacifier, they may be able to fall asleep without nursing. It is important to ensure your baby is getting plenty to eat and that you are not keeping them awake after nursing. As your baby nears the 2-month mark, you can start helping them learn to fall asleep independently without needing to nurse.
Choose a bedside sleeper that is expertly engineered with your baby’s comfort in mind. A firm sleep space is recommended, and experts agree that babies should sleep on their backs.
As soon as you start moving away from nursing your baby to sleep, they will start taking quality naps and sleeping longer stretches at night. You can start sleep training around 4 months of age. Sleep training is the process of teaching your child healthy sleep habits to help them sleep independently.
Co-sleeping is a safe practice that improves your sleep as a parent, supports your baby’s healthy development, and promotes bonding with your baby through proximity and touch. It can also make breastfeeding easier.
