Herbie Murray
Sleep associations are the things that babies rely on to fall asleep, such as being fed, rocked, or held. While these associations can be comforting for newborns and help them feel secure, they can also disrupt sleep patterns as the baby grows older. Breaking these sleep associations can be challenging, but it is possible to do so gently and gradually by introducing positive sleep cues and routines. This can help newborns develop healthy sleep habits and self-soothing skills, allowing them to sleep more independently and giving tired parents a much-needed break.
How to break newborn sleep associations
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Introduce positive sleep cues | Using positive associations such as putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake, patting their chest or back while they fall asleep, using gently weighted Zen Sleepwear, and pausing before rushing to them when they cry can help your baby self-soothe and reduce separation anxiety. |
| Phase out negative sleep associations gradually | Identify negative sleep associations such as dummies, music, mobiles, feeding, rocking, or co-sleeping, and gradually reduce their use. For example, turn off the music when your baby starts to look drowsy or feed your baby when they are more awake and less sleepy. |
| Be consistent and patient | Changing sleep habits takes time and consistency. Be prepared for crying and adjustments as your baby learns to settle and self-soothe. |
| Choose the right time | Avoid making changes when your baby is going through sleep progression, teething, an intense phase of separation anxiety, or illness. |
| Safe sleep environment | Ensure your baby sleeps on their back, on a firm, flat, and level surface, in a clear, smoke-free, and well-ventilated room to reduce the risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI) and promote better sleep. |
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What You'll Learn
Introduce positive sleep associations early on
As a new parent, you will know that frequent feedings and sleepless nights come with the territory of having a newborn. However, this shouldn't be a permanent fixture, and as your baby gets older, their internal clock will develop, along with a more set baby sleep schedule.
Sleep associations are any behaviours or actions that help your baby fall asleep. For adults, this could be lying on your side or placing a pillow in a certain way. For babies, sleep associations could be dummies, music, mobiles, fan noise or other white noise, night-lights, rocking, cuddling, feeding, and so on.
Introducing positive sleep associations early on can set a foundation for healthy sleep habits. Newborns can start associating certain routines with sleep, making it easier for them to understand when it's time to rest. For example, putting on their weighted sleepwear will mean it's time to sleep. Incorporating sleepwear into your child's sleep routine can help them fall asleep faster, sleep longer, and rest more peacefully.
You can use positive associations to help wean your baby off negative ones: Put your baby to bed drowsy, but still awake instead of letting them fall asleep in your arms. This will help get rid of the issue of your newborn not sleeping unless held. Pat your baby’s chest or back while they're falling asleep and slowly decrease the amount of time you spend doing this so your baby gets used to falling asleep on their own. Gently weighted sleepwear can also help your baby self-soothe and reduce separation anxiety. If your baby cries, pause for a moment before rushing in. Babies can sometimes resettle themselves, which is a crucial self-soothing skill. Be patient and persistent—changing sleep habits takes time and can often be met with some resistance. Stay consistent and calm.
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Put your baby to bed drowsy but awake
Putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake is a popular piece of advice for new parents. The idea is that, rather than rocking or nursing your baby to sleep, you observe their sleep cues and pay attention to their "wake windows" to put them to bed when they're tired enough to fall asleep but still awake.
Sleep happens in cycles, and a baby must learn to link these sleep cycles to sleep longer. If a baby learns to self-settle, they can link their sleep cycles independently. If not, they may need help after every light sleep cycle. Before six months of age, babies typically wake up regularly during the night to feed and get enough nutrients to grow. After the first few months of life, falling asleep will involve associations – things that are familiar – and these associations are learned.
Sleep associations are any behaviours that help a person fall asleep. For adults, this could be lying on their side or placing a pillow in a certain way. For babies, sleep associations could be dummies, music, mobiles, fan noise or other white noise, night-lights, rocking, cuddling, feeding, and so on. Babies also utilise sleep associations to fall asleep, which are generally routines or practices put in place by parents to help babies calm down and get drowsy.
The "drowsy but awake" technique is often recommended as a way to help babies develop self-settling techniques. The idea is to get them used to feeling drowsy when in bed to set up the association between bed and sleep. Parents can use responsive settling techniques (such as holding or patting) to help their babies get ready for sleep.
To put your baby to bed drowsy but awake, you can:
- Track their sleep patterns and watch for sleep clues. From birth to around three months, infants sleep about 14 to 17 hours a day, including naps. Recognising a pattern will help you anticipate their sleep needs and when they're ready for bed.
- Pay attention to "wake windows", or the amount of time your baby can be awake based on their age and stage. Babies shouldn't be awake for more than 45 to 120 minutes between naps at this stage, depending on their age.
- Stick to a bedtime routine. A consistent bedtime routine is crucial. You can signal that it's bedtime with a routine that's the same every night.
- Separate eating from sleeping. If your baby regularly falls asleep while feeding, they'll come to expect that every time. Instead, move feeding to the beginning of your nap or bedtime routine.
- Wait before entering if they start to cry overnight. They may fall back to sleep by themselves. Keep visits brief, offering quick comfort with a pat or a rub, but don't linger or pick them up.
- Be patient and persistent. Changing sleep habits takes time and can meet with some protest. Stay consistent and calm.
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Be consistent and calm
Consistency and calmness are key when trying to break newborn sleep associations. It's important to remember that changing sleep habits can take time and consistency, and it's normal for babies to protest during this transition. Here are some tips to help you stay consistent and calm:
Firstly, it's crucial to establish a consistent bedtime routine. This includes maintaining a consistent sleep environment, such as a safe and separate sleeping space for your baby, preferably a cot in a smoke-free, clear, and not-too-hot room. By creating a calm and soothing atmosphere with soft music, a dark room, white noise, or gentle rocking, you can help your baby relax and prepare for sleep.
Secondly, be consistent with the sleep associations you choose to encourage. Positive sleep associations can include putting your baby to bed drowsy but still awake, patting their back or chest, using gently weighted sleepwear, or providing a favourite blanket or toy. Gradually decrease the amount of time you spend on these associations, allowing your baby to get used to falling asleep independently.
Additionally, consistency in your feeding routine is essential. Avoid feeding your baby right before bedtime, as this can create an association between feeding and falling asleep. Instead, try to follow a feed/play/sleep routine, ensuring your baby is calm and sleepy but still awake when you put them down. This will help them develop self-settling skills.
Remember to be patient and persistent. Breaking sleep associations takes time, and it's important to stay calm and consistent throughout the process. Don't rush to intervene every time your baby makes a sound. Give them the freedom to figure out how to self-soothe, and they will surprise you with their capabilities.
Lastly, take care of yourself. Phasing out sleep associations can be tiring, so make sure to rest during the day, go to bed early, and ask for help from family and friends. By staying consistent and calm, you will help your baby develop healthy sleep habits and improve their overall well-being.
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Avoid sleep associations that require your assistance
Sleep associations are any behaviours or actions that help your baby fall asleep. For adults, this could be lying on your side or placing a pillow in a certain way. For babies, it could be dummies, music, mobiles, fan noise, night lights, rocking, cuddling, feeding, etc.
Sleep associations are not always negative. However, they can become problematic when they disrupt your baby's sleep because they require your assistance to resettle in between sleep cycles. These are considered negative associations as they are not sustainable.
If you constantly need to be with your baby for them to fall asleep, they are relying on negative sleep associations, and it might be time to break them. While it is not harmful to nurse or rock your baby to sleep, teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own is generally considered better.
- Feed your baby when they are more awake and less sleepy. Try to follow a feed/play/sleep routine.
- Plan your baby's feed times so that they are not too close to when they are due for sleep.
- If your baby looks like they are going to sleep while feeding, stop the feed and gently wake them.
- Put your baby in their cot when they are calm and sleepy but still awake. Transferring them to their cot when they are already asleep will not help them develop self-settling skills.
- Avoid long, drawn-out feed times.
- Be sensitive to your baby's tired signs. If they already look tired when they start feeding, they are likely to fall asleep in your arms.
- If your baby is crying in the crib, pick them up only long enough for them to calm down, then put them back down and continue to be reassuring.
- If your baby's sleep association is going to sleep with music playing or a mobile moving above the cot, turn off the music or mobile when they go to sleep. You can phase out these sleep habits gradually.
- If your baby is used to being fed by one parent during the night, the other parent can go in to offer reassurance.
- If your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, go and sit next to the crib until they fall asleep. You can gradually move your seat out of the room in three-day increments.
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Be patient and kind as your baby adjusts
Breaking sleep associations can be challenging for both parents and newborns. It is important to be patient and kind to your baby as they adjust to new sleep habits and routines. This process can take time, and there may be some resistance or protest from your little one. Remember, your baby is learning to self-soothe and settle without the previous sleep associations they have come to rely on.
Be prepared for some tears and crying, especially in the initial days and weeks of breaking sleep associations. This is a normal part of the adjustment process, and it is important to stay calm and consistent. Your baby is simply expressing their confusion or frustration with the change. Keep in mind that this is a learning curve for them, and they will eventually adjust to their new sleep habits.
During this transition period, make sure to look after yourself as well. Phasing out baby sleep habits can be tiring and emotionally draining. Make sure you get enough rest and support, so you have the energy to help your baby through this process. Remember, this too shall pass, and before you know it, your baby will be sleeping peacefully through the night with their new, positive sleep associations.
It is also important to note that the process of breaking sleep associations may take anywhere from a few days to several weeks, depending on the approach you take and your baby's temperament. Some babies may adjust more quickly, while others may take their time. Be mindful of your baby's unique needs and preferences, and tailor your approach accordingly. Remember, this is a journey you are taking together, and with patience and kindness, you will both emerge well-rested and happy.
Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many parents have gone through the process of breaking sleep associations, and there is a wealth of resources and support available to you. Reach out to your healthcare provider, join support groups, or seek advice from other parents who have been through similar experiences. By being patient, kind, and supportive, you will help your baby adjust to their new sleep habits in a healthy and loving way.
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Frequently asked questions
Common sleep associations for newborns include dummies, feeding, co-sleeping, rocking, bouncing, singing, patting, white noise, and music.
It is important to be clear about your goal and the change you want to make. You can then introduce positive sleep associations to help wean your baby off the negative ones. For example, put your baby to bed drowsy but awake instead of letting them fall asleep in your arms. You can also pat your baby's chest or back while they are falling asleep and then slowly decrease the amount of time you spend doing this.
It can take anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks to change a baby's sleep habits. It is important to be patient and consistent during this time.
