Herbie Murray
Co-sleeping with a baby can be beneficial for new parents, helping babies fall asleep faster and sleep for longer, as well as providing an opportunity for parents to connect with their little ones. However, it can be a challenging habit to break. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to when you should stop co-sleeping, it is generally recommended to do so before the age of three as toddlers' habits become more established as they get older. Here are some tips and tricks to help you transition your 7-month-old from co-sleeping to independent sleeping.
How to break co-sleeping with a 7-month-old
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Safe sleeping environment | No blankets, bumpers or stuffed toys. Dark room. Baby sense of proximity to parent. Noise machine. |
| Consistency | All sleep should happen in the same space. No bed-sharing, even for cuddling, for at least three months. |
| Gradual transition | Start with naps in their room. Move the cot further from your bed each night. |
| Child's temperament | Adaptability varies with each child. |
| Parenting style | Co-sleeping is influenced by parental work schedules, sleep quality, and attachment goals. |
| Family involvement | Include the family in the transition for support. |
| Age appropriateness | The earlier the better. Habits become established as toddlers age. |
| Pre-bed routine | A calm, soothing routine helps the child wind down. |
| Bedroom setup | Make the bedroom child-friendly and comfortable. |
| Sleep training | Consult experts or use apps for guidance. |
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What You'll Learn
Prepare your child's bedroom to be as comfortable as possible
Preparing your child's bedroom to be as comfortable as possible is an important step in breaking the co-sleeping habit. Here are some tips to achieve this:
Make the room child-friendly
Ensure that all furniture is securely anchored to the wall and that there are no loose wires or leads within your child's reach. This is crucial for your child's safety as they explore their new space.
Choose appropriate bedding
Babies under 12 months should sleep in sleeping bags instead of duvets. This is a safer option to reduce the risk of suffocation or entanglement. Make sure to follow safe sleeping practices recommended by pediatric associations.
Involve your child in the room's décor
If your child is a little older, involve them in choosing the wall colours, themes, and stickers. This helps them feel a sense of ownership and makes the space more inviting.
Create a soothing environment
Invest in blackout curtains to block out external light and create a dark, peaceful space. A noise machine can also help your child sleep soundly by masking outside noises.
Establish a consistent bedtime routine
A calming pre-bed routine can help your child wind down and view bedtime as a natural part of their day. This could include a warm bath, reading a soothing book, or some cuddle time. Consistency is key, so maintain the same routine each night.
Familiarise your child with the room
Spend time playing with your child in their bedroom regularly. This helps them become accustomed to the space, familiarising themselves with the smells, colours, and overall environment. This sense of familiarity can make the transition smoother.
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Be consistent with your child's sleep habits
Consistency is key when it comes to establishing your child's sleep habits and breaking the co-sleeping pattern. Here are some tips to achieve this:
Establish a consistent bedtime routine
A calming and consistent bedtime routine is essential for your child's sleep habits. This could include activities such as brushing their teeth, putting on pajamas, reading a book, and any other steps that work for your family. A soothing pre-bed routine helps your child wind down and view bedtime as a natural part of their day.
Make the new sleeping space comfortable and familiar
Your child may be more willing to sleep in their new space if it feels familiar and comforting. Involve them in choosing fun bedding and let them bring their beloved stuffed animals or toys to personalize the space. This helps them feel a sense of ownership and makes the transition smoother.
Stick to the plan during the transition and beyond
During the transition period and for at least three months afterward, maintain consistency by not allowing your child to sleep in your room under any circumstances. This includes not using your bed for cuddling during the day. While it may be challenging, staying firm on this rule will help your child adjust to their new sleeping arrangement.
Communicate the importance of independent sleep
Talk to your child about the importance of sleeping independently and how it will benefit everyone's sleep quality. Explain that there will still be plenty of time for cuddles during the day. For older children, emphasize the idea of having their own "big kid" room and the sense of independence it brings.
Manage expectations and be realistic
The transition process will depend on your child's temperament and consistency in maintaining healthy sleep habits. Some children may adapt quickly, while others may take more time. Be patient and remember that consistency is crucial during this period.
Additional tips for a smooth transition
- Make sure your child's new sleeping space is safe, without blankets, bumpers, or stuffed animals that could pose a risk.
- Consider using blackout curtains or a noise machine to create a soothing and distraction-free sleep environment.
- If your child is anxious, try playing a game where they pretend to fall asleep in their own bed, acting as if they have an imaginary audience.
- If you're comfortable, you can sleep with your baby's bed sheet before putting it in the crib, as the familiar scent can be comforting.
- Keep in mind that life changes, such as a new sibling, may impact the timing of the transition. Try to avoid associating the transition with these events to prevent any negative connotations.
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Establish a soothing pre-bed routine
Establishing a soothing pre-bed routine is a smart strategy to make the transition from co-sleeping easier for both the child and the parent. The pre-bed routine helps the child wind down and see bedtime as a natural part of their day. Here are some tips to establish a soothing pre-bed routine:
- Be consistent: Consistency is key when transitioning from co-sleeping to independent sleeping. It is important to ensure that all sleep happens in the child's own space. Avoid mixing up their bedtime routine and keep it consistent.
- Gradual transition: Start the transition gradually by slowly moving the child's cot or bed further away from your bed each night. This helps the child get used to sleeping in their own space while still feeling your presence. Once they are comfortable, you can move the crib to their bedroom.
- Create a soothing environment: Make the child's bedroom as comfortable and soothing as possible. This includes ensuring the room is dark and secure, with no loose wires or leads. You can use blackout curtains to control the influx of light. A noise machine can also help create a calming atmosphere and block out any external noises.
- Personalize the space: Involve your child in personalizing their bedroom. Allow them to choose fun fitted sheets, wall stickers, colours, and themes. Add a few beloved stuffed animals to make the space feel familiar and comforting.
- Pre-bed activities: Incorporate calming activities into the pre-bed routine. A warm bath, reading a soothing book, and some snuggle time can help your child relax and prepare for sleep. Customize these activities to fit your family's needs and preferences.
- Nighttime feedings: If you are breastfeeding or providing nighttime feedings, establish a separate space for feedings. Instead of bringing your baby into your bed, feed them in their own crib or bassinet, and return them to their sleeping space when they are done. This helps reinforce the association between their sleeping space and sleep.
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Explain the change to your child
Explaining the change to your child
It is important to talk to your child about the change and help them mentally prepare for it. The conversation you have will depend on the age of your child. If your child is a toddler, especially one over the age of 2, you can explain that they are a big kid now and ready to spend the night in their own bed and room. You can also point out that parents need time by themselves. Tell them that you know they will do great and reassure them that they will get used to their bed and room, even if the change feels hard at first.
If your child is younger than 18 months, you can still explain the change in a simple and matter-of-fact way. For example, you can say, "This is your bedroom. This is where you sleep." You can also read your child books about babies who sleep through the night and talk about how happy and rested the whole family feels when they sleep in their own crib. Emphasize how daytime is for fun and play and nighttime is for rest and sleep.
It is important to be consistent with the change and stick to your plan. The transition from co-sleeping to sleeping in a separate bed or room can be challenging, but your child will eventually adjust. Choose a period when life is relatively calm and no other big changes are happening, such as a new baby, new school, or caregiver transition.
Remember that this transition is an important step in encouraging your child's independence and self-reliance. It may take some time and patience, but the end result will be better sleep and more privacy for everyone.
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Make your child's room feel like their own
Making your child's room feel like their own is an important step in the transition from co-sleeping to independent sleeping. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:
Start by spending more time in your baby's room during the day. Engage in pleasant, quiet activities such as feedings, massages, singing, and reading stories. This helps your baby associate the room with comfort and security. Spend time playing with your baby in their room, so they start to recognise and feel familiar with their environment. You can also perform nappy changes and other tasks in their room to reinforce the connection.
Establish a consistent bedtime routine that includes calming activities. A short and sweet routine of around 20-30 minutes can signal to your baby that it's time to wind down. Include activities such as bath time, reading, and singing. Avoid stimulating activities and screen time before bed. Following the same steps each night will help your baby understand that bedtime is approaching, even in their new room.
Gradually transition your baby to sleeping in their own room. Start with naps during the day and then move to overnight sleep. This approach allows your baby to adjust to their new sleep environment more comfortably. You can also begin with the first nap of the day in their room and then progress to all naps. Alternatively, place your baby in their room for bedtime only, and then share a room after the first night waking.
It is recommended to transition your baby to their own room when they are around 6 to 7 months old. This is because, after 7 months, babies become more aware of their surroundings and may find it harder to adjust to a new sleeping environment. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing for at least the first 6 months of life, and ideally up to 12 months, to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). However, this is not a requirement, and you should consider your individual circumstances, including your baby's sleep habits and developmental progress.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and you should make the transition when it feels right for you and your baby.
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Frequently asked questions
First, make sure your baby's room is a safe and comfortable place for them to sleep. You can make the room feel more familiar by playing with them in there during the day. It can be helpful for your baby to sense you are near, so you could sleep with their bedsheet before putting it in the crib. A noise machine can also help babies sleep soundly.
You may want to start by slowly moving their cot further away from your bed each night so that they can get used to sleeping in their own space, while still being close to you. Once they've adjusted, you can move the cot into their own bedroom.
You could try a calming pre-bed routine, such as a bath or a soothing book, to help your baby wind down and see bedtime as part of their day.
Keep your bed off-limits for at least the first three months after you've stopped co-sleeping. If your baby wakes up, shush them back to sleep or give them a dummy, but don't bring them into your bed.
