Fixing Your Child's Rem Sleep: A Guide For Parents

Sleep is a vital process that allows the body and brain to rest and repair. While it may seem simple, it is one of the most complex and mysterious body processes known to science. Sleep is especially important for children, as it helps them learn and remember things, boosts their immunity, and aids their growth. However, children often experience sleep disturbances, such as REM sleep behaviour disorder, which can negatively impact their sleep quality and behaviour. REM sleep behaviour disorder is characterised by abnormal movements, behaviours, emotions, perceptions, or dreams during sleep. To improve your child's REM sleep, it is recommended to establish a consistent sleep schedule, avoid stimulants like caffeine and cigarettes, and create a relaxing bedtime routine. Additionally, regular exercise, a suitable sleep environment, and consulting a healthcare professional can also promote better REM sleep in children.

Establish a bedtime routine

Establishing a bedtime routine is a great way to encourage good sleep habits in children of all ages. Here are some tips to help your child get a good night's sleep:

• Stick to a regular bedtime. Consistency is key when it comes to sleep. Try to maintain the same bedtime every night, even on weekends and holidays. This will help regulate your child's body clock and make it easier for them to fall asleep.
• Give your child a heads-up before bedtime. Give them a 30-minute warning, followed by a 10-minute reminder. This helps them mentally prepare for sleep and wind down their activities.
• Encourage older children and teenagers to set their own bedtime. This gives them a sense of control and teaches them the importance of getting enough sleep. They should aim for the full hours of sleep recommended for their age group.
• Create a calming bedtime routine. Include activities such as washing up, brushing teeth, reading a book, listening to quiet music, or having a bath. These activities signal to the brain that bedtime is approaching and help your child relax and prepare for sleep.
• Limit screen time before bed. Turn off all screens, such as TVs, computers, phones, tablets, and video games, at least one hour before bedtime. The blue light emitted by these devices can disrupt the body's natural sleep-wake cycle. Consider removing devices from your child's bedroom altogether.
• Make sure your child's bedroom is sleep-conducive. Keep the room dark, comfortable, and at a suitable temperature. Ensure they have comfortable sleepwear and that there are minimal distractions or noises that could interrupt their sleep.
• Avoid heavy meals and alcohol before bed. A light snack is preferable if your child is hungry. Consuming large meals or alcohol close to bedtime can disrupt sleep and cause discomfort.
• Encourage your child to wind down before bed. If they are not feeling sleepy at bedtime, suggest activities that will help them relax, such as reading or listening to soothing music.

By following these tips and establishing a consistent bedtime routine, you can help your child get the quality sleep they need, including the important REM sleep that is crucial for learning and memory.

Avoid screens before bed

Sleep is incredibly important for children of all ages, as it helps them play, learn, and concentrate during the day. However, many children struggle with getting enough sleep, and screens may be to blame.

The Impact of Screens on Sleep

Research has shown that screen time can affect sleep quality, and the blue light emitted by screens is known to suppress melatonin production, a hormone crucial for regulating sleep. In addition, the stimulating content on screens can overstimulate the brain, making it harder to relax and fall asleep. The enticing nature of screens can also lead to children staying up later than they should, resulting in sleep debt and potential mental and physical health issues.

Tips to Reduce Screen Time Before Bed

• Create a screen-free zone: Keeping screens out of the bedroom helps signal to the brain that it is time to relax and sleep. If you must use a device, opt for sleep-centric content like a Sleep Story or white noise.
• Set a technology curfew: Aim to put away all devices at least an hour before bedtime. This gives your brain a chance to wind down and prepares your body for sleep.
• Use blue light filters: Utilize blue light filters on your devices or wear blue-light filtering glasses to reduce blue light exposure.
• Avoid screens in total darkness: Using screens in a dark room can strain the eyes. If you need to use a device, dim the brightness and turn on a soft lamp.
• Try audio-based mindfulness practices: Switch to audio-only content such as music, breathing exercises, or meditation sessions to help you relax and prepare for sleep.
• Stick to a supportive bedtime routine: Establish a ritual that signals to your brain that it is time to wind down, such as listening to music, reading a book, journaling, or sipping chamomile tea.

By following these tips, you can help improve your child's sleep quality and ensure they get the rest they need to thrive.

Create opportunities for self-soothing

Self-soothing is a skill that can be taught to children to help them calm themselves when they are emotionally distressed. It is important to note that self-soothing behaviours can exist across the lifespan, and it is normal for adults to engage in self-soothing behaviours they developed during childhood. However, these may or may not diminish over time with self-awareness.

Create a bedtime routine

A calming and consistent bedtime routine can help your child's body and mind know that it is time to settle down and prepare for sleep. The routine can be specific to your child, but it should last around 20 minutes and consist of three to four quiet, soothing activities such as putting on pyjamas, brushing teeth, a warm bath, and reading.

Set a bedtime

A consistent bedtime works with your child's natural biological clock to promote dozing off with regularity. Try to keep the same bedtime on weekends as on school nights. Altering bedtimes during the weekend will make it more difficult for kids to maintain their normal weekday schedules.

Implement a screen curfew

The blue light emitted by mobile devices, TVs, and tablets suppresses melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Children may be particularly vulnerable to the effects of light from screens. Screens also stimulate the brain, making it harder to wind down for sleep. Electronic devices should be kept out of the bedroom and ideally not used within one hour of bedtime.

Encourage exercise

Physical activity is proven to help people of all ages fall asleep faster and stay asleep. Most children need at least one hour of exercise per day. Just make sure to avoid vigorous activity within two hours of bedtime, as your child may feel wound up and find it harder to fall asleep.

Avoid scary or violent content

Feeling scared or worried is a common reason kids can't sleep. Scary or violent movies, TV, video games, and even books in the evening are linked to sleep disturbances in children. If your child likes the gory or spooky stuff, save it for the daytime.

Teach deep breathing exercises

Deep breathing exercises can stop panic in its tracks and are easy to guide kids through. Here is one way to do a breathing exercise: put your hand on your stomach, breathe in through your nose for three seconds, and feel your hand rise. Then breathe out through your mouth for three seconds and feel your hand fall. Repeat four times.

Encourage mindfulness

Mindfulness helps kids focus on the present and not let thoughts, emotions, or trouble with self-control get in the way. One way it can help them self-soothe is by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, your child could repeat the mantra, "I am noticing that I feel overwhelmed. My heart is pounding, and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I may feel anxious, but I am grounded through my feet."

Reduce stress around sleep

Sleep is crucial for a child's growth and development. However, when children experience sleep anxiety or insomnia, it can negatively impact their mood, health, learning abilities, and behaviour. Stress and anxiety are common causes of sleep difficulties in children, and these negative emotions may arise from school pressures, family issues, or social dynamics.

Establish a Bedtime Routine

Creating a consistent bedtime routine can help your child's body and mind prepare for sleep. This routine should last around 20 minutes and include three to four calming activities, such as putting on pyjamas, brushing teeth, taking a warm bath, or reading a book. A predictable routine provides children with a sense of familiarity and comfort, reducing anxiety and making it easier for them to settle down.

Set a Regular Bedtime

Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends, is essential. A fixed bedtime works with your child's natural biological clock, making it easier for them to fall asleep regularly. Altering bedtimes during the weekend can disrupt their normal weekday sleep patterns.

Implement a Screen Curfew

Electronic devices, including mobile phones, tablets, and televisions, emit blue light, which suppresses melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Additionally, screen time stimulates the brain, making it challenging for children to wind down. Therefore, it is advisable to keep electronic devices out of the bedroom and refrain from using them at least one hour before bedtime.

Encourage Physical Activity

Physical activity helps children of all ages fall asleep faster and improves sleep quality. Most children need at least one hour of exercise per day. However, avoid vigorous activity within two hours of bedtime to prevent your child from feeling wound up and unable to settle down.

Avoid Scary or Violent Content

Scary or violent movies, television shows, video games, or books can cause children to feel worried or scared, leading to sleep disturbances. It is best to save this type of content for the daytime and opt for calming, peaceful alternatives before bed.

Limit Caffeine Intake

Caffeine is a stimulant that can make it difficult for children to fall asleep and reduce sleep quality. Avoid giving your child caffeine within six hours of bedtime, or ideally, eliminate it from their diet altogether. This includes not only the obvious sources like soda and energy drinks but also tea, coffee, and chocolate.

Create a Comforting Bedroom Environment

Optimising your child's bedroom can significantly impact their sleep quality. Maintain a cool temperature of around 65 degrees Fahrenheit in the room. Use noise-blocking curtains or a fan to minimise sound disturbances. Dim the lights as bedtime approaches and keep the room dark, promoting healthy melatonin levels and supporting your child's natural body clock. You can also use soothing scents like lavender, which has mild sedative effects.

Address Bedtime Worries

Childhood anxiety is on the rise, and stress is known to disrupt sleep. Help your child manage their worries with the following strategies:

• Journaling: Encourage your child to write down their anxious thoughts and the positive things that happened during the day. Focusing on the positive can enhance feelings of security and reduce anxiety.
• Mindfulness Exercises: Practices like meditation have been proven to calm the nervous system and decrease stress hormones. There are various kid-friendly meditations available, often involving simple breathing techniques, body awareness, or guided imagery.
• Create a "Worry Time": Set aside a specific time during the day, away from bedtime, for your child to discuss their concerns and explore coping strategies. This approach frees children from dwelling on worries before bed, allowing them to approach sleep with a calmer mindset.
• Bedtime Chat: Spend a few minutes talking with your child in bed, allowing them to share their thoughts and concerns. Make this a positive and reassuring conversation to help them process their day and reduce anxiety.

By implementing these strategies, you can help your child reduce stress and anxiety around sleep, improving their overall sleep quality and promoting healthy growth and development.

Reassure your child about nightmares

Nightmares are a common occurrence for children and can be scary and upsetting. While you can't prevent them, there are ways to reassure your child if they have one. Here are some tips to help your child feel better and get back to sleep:

Be There for Them

Your child will likely feel afraid and upset after a nightmare. Your presence will help them feel safe and protected. Let them know that you're there for them and that they're not alone. This will strengthen their sense of security and comfort.

Explain What Happened

Label the experience as a bad dream and assure your child that it's over and that everything is okay. You can say something like, "You had a bad dream, but now you're awake, and everything is alright." It's important to make this distinction clear to your child, especially if they're younger and still learning about the difference between dreams and reality.

Offer Comfort

Show empathy and let your child know that it's normal to feel scared after a nightmare. Remind them that everyone has scary dreams sometimes, and it's okay to feel the way they do. Offer a hug, a kiss, or a cuddle to help them feel better.

Use Magic and Imagination

For younger children with vivid imaginations, you can use pretend monster spray to make the monsters disappear or check under the bed and in the closet to reassure them that there's nothing to be afraid of. You can also encourage them to imagine themselves as heroes in their dreams, facing their fears and overcoming them.

Provide Mood Lighting

A nightlight or a soft light in the hallway can help your child feel safer in a dark room as they prepare to go back to sleep. A flashlight by their bedside can also help them feel more in control and empowered.

Help Them Get Back to Sleep

Offer something comforting to change the mood, such as their favourite stuffed animal, a blanket, or soft music. You can also talk about pleasant dreams or seal your reassurance with a kiss in the palm of their hand as you leave the room.

Listen and Talk During the Day

There's no need to talk extensively about the nightmare in the middle of the night. Instead, help your child feel calm and safe and ready to go back to sleep. However, they may want to talk about it the next day. Be a good listener, and encourage them to share their feelings. Talking about the nightmare during the day can help take away some of its scariness and reduce its emotional impact.

Remember, nightmares are a normal part of childhood, and your love, reassurance, and support can go a long way in helping your child feel better after a scary dream.

Frequently asked questions