Cherishing Sleep: The Art Of Feeling Cherished

Don't you cherish me to sleep is the opening line of the song Calgary by Bon Iver, from their second self-titled album, Bon Iver, Bon Iver. The song explores the theme of a burning-out relationship and the dangers that can arise when one person loses interest and stops being themselves. With a diverse range of instruments and emotional lyrics, the song showcases the band's growth and their attempt at creating something entirely different from their previous work.

The song is about a deteriorating relationship

The song "Calgary" by Bon Iver begins with the line "Don't you cherish me to sleep", and is about a deteriorating relationship. The song explores the idea that when one person in a relationship stops loving the other unconditionally, they can lose themselves and the dynamic can become dangerous. This is reflected in the lyrics "Don't you cherish me to sleep, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh/Never keep your eyelids clipped/Hold me for the pops and clicks/I was only for the father's crib". The relationship is described as burning out, with the bridge bringing a clear message of this deterioration.

The song's title, "Calgary", is a reference to Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and the frontman of Bon Iver, Justin Vernon, has described how he dreamed of it as a stunning, isolated city. This isolation and beauty can be seen as a metaphor for the relationship described in the song, which may have started in a similar way—with beauty and isolation—but then disinterest came between the two people involved. This interpretation is supported by Vernon's comments in an interview with Pitchfork: "There's that whole thing that happens in relationships [where] you can love someone, but as soon as they stop loving you so unconditionally that they stop being themselves, it can be so dangerous."

The song is also notable for its usage of instruments, with a synth drone underneath Vernon's chorus vocals and open chords strummed by a brightly-toned guitar. The combination of sadness and optimism in the song is perfectly captured by the closing, which features Vernon singing over a strummed guitar.

The dangers of losing interest in a relationship

The lyrics of Bon Iver's "Calgary" capture a relationship dynamic that has turned dangerous and harmful due to a loss of interest. The line "Don't you cherish me to sleep" sets the tone for the exploration of the dangers that arise when a partner loses interest in a relationship.

Losing interest in a relationship is a common occurrence, and it can happen between friends or lovers. While it is normal, the dangers that stem from this disinterest can be detrimental to the relationship and the individuals involved. One such danger is the emotional disconnection that occurs when one partner loses interest and fails to communicate their feelings effectively. This can lead to a breakdown in communication, causing the other partner to feel ignored, neglected, or uncertain about the relationship.

Another danger is the potential for infidelity or betrayal. When one partner loses interest, they may seek emotional or physical intimacy elsewhere, shattering the trust in the relationship. This breach of trust can be challenging to repair and may lead to a cycle of suspicion and resentment. Additionally, a loss of interest can result in a lack of effort in maintaining the relationship. This can manifest as a decrease in physical affection, a lack of interest in the other person's life, or a reluctance to spend time with their friends and family. Such behaviour can create a sense of distance and further strain the relationship.

Unresolved conflicts, lingering resentment, and a lack of excitement or novelty can also contribute to the dangers of losing interest in a relationship. Over time, these factors can erode the connection between partners, leading to a sense of stagnation and boredom. Personal growth and self-discovery can also play a role, as individuals may outgrow their current relationship and find that it no longer aligns with their evolving values and aspirations. This can result in a loss of interest and a desire to pursue different paths.

It is important to address the dangers of losing interest in a relationship and to actively work on sustaining feelings through open communication, resolving conflicts, and creating new experiences together. By doing so, couples can mitigate the potential harm caused by a loss of interest and work towards rebuilding their connection.

The song's title references Calgary, Alberta

"Don't you cherish me to sleep" is a line from the song "Calgary" by Bon Iver. The song's title references Calgary, Alberta, a city in Canada.

"Calgary" is the eighth track from Bon Iver's second studio album, "Bon Iver, Bon Iver," released in 2011. The song's title continues the theme of song titles being locations or places across the album.

In an interview, Bon Iver frontman Justin Vernon commented on the story behind "Calgary," stating that it explores the dynamic that can be created when someone loses interest in a relationship to the point where they aren't themselves. Vernon also mentioned that he has never been to Calgary and has dreamt of it as a stunning, isolated city. He imagines it as an isolated capital city with the Rockies and high places, which influenced the song's theme of a relationship falling out of interest.

The song "Calgary" stands out for its emotional depth and interesting usage of instruments. It combines sadness and optimism, with a synth drone underneath Vernon's chorus vocals and open chords strummed by a brightly-toned guitar. The song's melody is very beautiful, and the cold, wind-like "oooooooh"s in the background add to the atmosphere.

The song's complex composition and instrumentation

"Don't You Cherish Me to Sleep" is the opening line of the song "Calgary" by Bon Iver, from their second self-titled album, Bon Iver, Bon Iver. The song is a complex and intricate composition, both musically and lyrically, showcasing the band's artistic growth and risk-taking.

The instrumentation of "Calgary" is a testament to the band's versatility and experimentation. The song features an array of instruments, including trumpets, French horns, synthesizers, strings, baritone and electric guitars, finger cymbals, saxophones, and tremolos. This diverse arrangement creates a deep and heavy atmosphere, enhancing the emotional impact of the lyrics.

The song's composition is a carefully crafted tapestry, with each instrument contributing to its dynamic and textural depth. It begins with a synth drone that sets the tone, followed by Vernon's haunting vocals and a bright, open-chord guitar. The addition of cold, wind-like "oooooooh"s in the background builds a sense of atmosphere. The song then leads to a distorted guitar riff climax, showcasing the band's ability to build and release tension effectively.

The intricate instrumentation serves as a backdrop to the song's poignant and thought-provoking lyrics. The opening line, "Don't you cherish me to sleep," sets the tone for the exploration of complex relationship dynamics. The song delves into the dangers of losing oneself in a relationship and the fragile nature of human connections. The lyrics are a combination of poetic imagery and raw emotion, with lines like "You pinned me with your black sphere eyes" and "There's a fire going out / But there's really nothing to the south."

The songwriting process for "Calgary" was a collaborative effort, with Bon Iver's Justin Vernon and Matt McCaughan playing integral roles. Vernon mentioned that the song's creation involved seeing "weirdest things into songs—things that might not work initially but that you could ultimately twist and contort into working." This experimental mindset resulted in the song's unique structure and instrumentation. McCaughan's contribution of the snare drum part, in particular, helped Vernon write the bridge, showcasing the synergistic nature of their creative process.

Justin Vernon's intention to take a risk with this album

Justin Vernon's intention with his second album, Bon Iver, Bon Iver, was to take a risk and try something entirely different from his previous work, For Emma, Forever Ago. Vernon's debut album was recorded in isolation in a Wisconsin cabin during the winter of 2006-2007, while he was experiencing health and personal difficulties. In contrast, Bon Iver, Bon Iver was a collaborative effort, with Vernon bringing in several musicians to contribute to the album.

The second album marked a musical departure, with Vernon allowing collaborators to "come in and change the scene." Vernon himself described the album as ambitious, with each song representing a different place. The song "Perth," for example, was described as a "Civil War-sounding heavy metal song," while "Minnesota, WI" featured finger-picked guitars, double bass drums, and distorted bass saxophone. The closing track, "Beth/Rest," was intended to be "horn heavy."

The risk Vernon took with this album extended beyond the music itself. In an interview with The New Yorker, Vernon revealed that the pandemic lockdown gave him the realisation that he could stop making music altogether. He shared a vulnerable moment from his last tour, where he broke down in tears on stage while performing a particularly emotional song. Despite the audience's positive response, Vernon felt incredibly vulnerable and unsafe. This experience, along with the understanding that he could end Bon Iver, influenced the creation of the album and his approach to touring.

Vernon's intention to take a risk with Bon Iver, Bon Iver paid off, as the album received critical acclaim and won the Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Album. The risk he took with this album not only resulted in a successful body of work but also allowed him to explore new sonic directions and collaborate with a diverse range of musicians.

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