Boyfriend Keeping Me Awake: What To Do?

Sleep is a basic human need, and sharing a bed with a partner can make you feel closer to them. However, it can also present challenges such as snoring, blanket hogging, and sleep schedule differences. These issues can lead to sleep deprivation, which can cause relationship conflict and dissatisfaction. To improve sleep when sharing a bed with a partner, it is recommended to maintain proper sleep hygiene, such as keeping the bedroom dark, cool, and quiet, avoiding caffeine and heavy meals before bed, and turning off electronic devices. Additionally, separate blankets, larger mattresses, and addressing any underlying sleep disorders can help improve sleep when sharing a bed with a partner.

Snoring

Firstly, identify the source of the snoring. Snoring occurs when the upper airways narrow, causing turbulent airflow and surrounding tissues to vibrate, producing noise. This can happen due to excess throat and nasal tissue, floppy tissue that vibrates easily, or the tongue obstructing smooth breathing.

Once you understand the cause, you can implement measures to reduce snoring. Here are some tips to help alleviate snoring:

• Avoid alcohol: Alcohol is a muscle relaxant and can slacken throat tissues during sleep, making snoring worse. Avoid drinking alcohol close to bedtime.
• Maintain a healthy weight: Excess fat tissue in the neck and throat can narrow the airways. Losing weight can help open the airways if the snorer is overweight. However, it's important to note that lean individuals can also snore.
• Review medications: Certain medications that relax muscles can worsen snoring. These include tranquilizers such as lorazepam (Ativan) and diazepam (Valium). Consult a doctor or pharmacist if you're concerned about specific medications.
• Address nasal congestion: Mucus in the nasal airways can contribute to snoring. Rinse stuffy sinuses with saline before bed. If allergies are the culprit, reduce dust mites and pet dander in the bedroom, or consider taking allergy medication. A humidifier or specific medications may also help reduce nasal tissue swelling.
• Change sleep position: Sleeping on your back can cause the tissues in the upper airways to droop and constrict breathing. Sleeping on your side can help alleviate this. Using a full-length body pillow or sewing a tennis ball into the back of your pyjama top can help encourage side sleeping.
• Stop smoking: While the evidence is weak, smoking is associated with an increased risk of snoring.
• Try anti-snoring products: Anti-snoring mouth appliances, custom-made by a dentist, can help open the upper airway by pulling the jaw and tongue forward. Nasal-dilating strips are another inexpensive and harmless option that may help reduce snoring by lifting and opening the nasal passages.

If these measures don't provide sufficient relief, it's important to consult a doctor or sleep specialist. They can advise on more conservative treatments or, if necessary, discuss surgical options to alleviate snoring. Additionally, they can evaluate for underlying sleep disturbances such as obstructive sleep apnea, which is more common in men and can have serious health implications.

Blanket wrestling

Wrestling with your bedding is a common problem for couples who share a bed. However, there are several solutions to this issue, which can help you and your boyfriend sleep better together.

The Benefits of Weighted Blankets

Weighted blankets are heavy blankets (usually from 10 to 25 pounds) filled with pellets that help distribute weight evenly across your body while you sleep. The weight of the blanket mimics the pressure of being held, which helps to reduce anxiety and improve sleep. Research has found that weighted blankets provide a "beneficial calming effect" for those experiencing insomnia. They have also been used to aid children on the autism spectrum and are even the basis for products such as ThunderShirts, which calm dogs during anxiety-inducing events.

Choosing a Weighted Blanket

When choosing a weighted blanket, opt for a soft material that is comfortable for you, such as plush, lightweight cotton, or cooling bamboo. The ideal weight for a weighted blanket is about 10% of your body weight. If you plan on sharing the blanket with your boyfriend, choose one that is between 20 and 30 pounds. Additionally, consider the cost, as these blankets can be expensive, ranging from $50 to $200.

Other Tips for Better Sleep

In addition to using a weighted blanket, there are several other tips that can help you and your boyfriend sleep better together:

• Exercise: Working out for just 20 minutes a day can improve your sleep quality. Yoga is especially beneficial, as it strengthens and restores the body while calming the mind.
• Avoid Electronics: Ban electronics from the bedroom, as the light from smartphones, tablets, laptops, and TVs can slow the release of melatonin, disrupting your sleep.
• Avoid Caffeine: Avoid consuming caffeine, especially late in the day, as it can interfere with your sleep.
• Maintain a Cool Room Temperature: A cooler room temperature, between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit, is optimal for sleep. If you and your boyfriend have different temperature preferences, try using separate blankets to achieve your perfect sleep temperature.
• Use Separate Blankets: Using individual blankets can help you and your boyfriend sleep better, especially if you have different preferences for being bundled up or sleeping freely.
• Get a Bigger Bed: Upgrading to a bigger mattress, such as a king-size bed, can provide more space and improve sleep quality for both of you.
• Address Snoring: If snoring is an issue, try going to bed before your boyfriend or using earplugs, white noise, or music to block out the noise.
• Maintain a Consistent Sleep Schedule: Stick to a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends, to regulate your body's sleep-wake cycle.

By following these tips and considering the use of a weighted blanket, you and your boyfriend can improve your sleep quality and enjoy the benefits of a good night's rest together.

Different sleep schedules

Be Respectful of Each Other's Habits:

It's important to respect your partner's sleep habits, especially if one is an early bird and the other is a night owl. If one partner stays up late, they should move to another room to avoid disturbing the other. Keep noise levels low when getting in and out of bed, and try to stick to a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends.

Create a Sleep-Conducive Environment:

Your bedroom should be as dark, cool, and quiet as possible. A cooler room temperature, between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit, is optimal for sleep. Use earplugs, white noise, or music to block out noise if needed. Additionally, avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and heavy meals close to bedtime, as they can disrupt sleep.

Address Sleep Disorders:

If one partner snores or has sleep apnea, it's important to address these issues. Losing weight, quitting smoking, and sleeping on the side can help reduce snoring. For sleep apnea, a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine can be recommended by a doctor to improve sleep quality for both partners.

Improve Sleep Hygiene:

Practicing good sleep hygiene can help both partners improve their sleep. This includes turning off electronic devices an hour before bed, reading, listening to music, or taking a warm bath to relax. Also, consider separate blankets or a bigger bed to accommodate different temperature preferences.

Manage Stress and Anxiety:

High stress levels can contribute to sleep disturbances. Encourage open communication about stress and anxiety, and work together to address the underlying causes. Schedule worry time earlier in the evening, and practice relaxation techniques like breathing exercises or meditation.

Seek Professional Help:

If sleep issues persist, consult a doctor or a sleep specialist. They can help identify any underlying medical or psychological causes and provide personalized advice and treatments.

Room temperature

Temperature plays a crucial role in getting a good night's sleep, especially when sharing a bed with a partner. The ideal room temperature for optimal sleep is between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit. A cooler room is recommended, and it is easier to add covers than to remove them if one is already hot.

If one partner sleeps hot while the other gets cold, using separate blankets can be a solution. This allows each person to adjust to their preferred temperature without affecting the other.

Additionally, the right mattress can also impact the bed temperature. Foam mattresses tend to be less bouncy and can help isolate movement, reducing the transfer of motion between partners.

For those who struggle with night sweats or overheating, it is recommended to avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and heavy meals 3 to 4 hours before bed. These substances can interfere with sleep and make it challenging to fall or stay asleep.

Creating a sleep-friendly environment also involves managing the light and sound in the room. Blue light from electronic devices can disrupt sleep by slowing down the brain's release of melatonin, a crucial hormone for falling asleep. Turning off electronics and opting for relaxing activities before bed can improve sleep quality.

In summary, maintaining a cool, dark, and quiet bedroom environment with the right bedding and mattress can significantly impact the temperature and overall sleep experience when sharing a bed with a partner.

Sleep apnea

If you are experiencing sleep issues with your boyfriend, it is a good idea to consult a doctor. They may recommend a full physical examination and ask about your sleep and medical history. If sleep apnea is suspected, they may refer you to a specialist sleep clinic for further testing.

The test for sleep apnea typically involves wearing devices that monitor your breathing and heartbeat while you sleep. This can be done at home or in a clinic, and it helps determine whether you have sleep apnea and, if so, how severe it is. Treatment options for sleep apnea include lifestyle changes, such as losing weight, quitting smoking, and reducing alcohol intake, as well as the use of a CPAP machine, which pumps air into a mask worn over the mouth and nose during sleep to improve breathing.

In addition to seeking medical advice, there are several other things you can try to improve your sleep when sharing a bed with your boyfriend. These include working out regularly, practicing yoga or meditation, banning electronics from the bedroom, and avoiding caffeine, especially late in the day. It is also important to maintain good sleep habits, such as keeping your bedroom dark, cool, and quiet, and sticking to a regular sleep schedule.

Frequently asked questions