Herbie Murray
Sleep training is a topic that many parents are interested in, but it can be challenging and stressful. While there is no way to sleep train a baby without tears, there are gentler alternatives to the cry-it-out (CIO) method, which involves leaving a baby to cry for short periods before soothing them. Gentle sleep training, or no-cry sleep training, is a gradual approach that teaches babies to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night on their own. It involves creating a sleep-friendly environment, establishing a sleep routine, and gradually removing dependencies. While it can take longer than the CIO method, it may be more suitable for parents who are triggered by their baby's crying.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Cry Involvement | Crying is still possible but is minimised as much as possible |
| Parental Involvement | High |
| Time Taken | Can take up to three weeks or more |
| Techniques | The chair method, the pick-up-put-down method, scheduled awakenings, fading, and increasing intervals between soothing |
| Benefits | Avoids harsher cry-it-out methods, teaches babies to self-soothe, and promotes bonding |
| Drawbacks | Requires a lot of patience and dedication, may be stressful for parents |
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What You'll Learn
No cry sleep training methods
No cry sleep training, also known as gentle sleep training, is an approach that allows parents to help their children develop healthy sleep habits and sleep independence without extended periods of crying. It is based on the belief that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cosy nighttime rituals and quickly responding to their requests for food and comfort.
Gentle sleep training advocates believe that it is natural for babies to want to be close to their parents and that ''cry it out'' (CIO) or 'extinction' sleep training does not teach babies to self-soothe. While CIO can lead to better sleep in the short term, all babies tend to have similar sleep patterns by the time they are one year old, regardless of the sleep training method used.
There are three main approaches to no cry sleep training:
- The chair method: This involves sitting in a chair near the baby's crib while they fall asleep. The chair is then moved progressively farther away until the baby learns to fall asleep without the parent in the room.
- The pick-up-put-down method: When the baby cries, the parent picks them up to soothe them and then puts them back down when they have calmed down.
- Scheduled awakenings: This method involves waking the baby at specific times to prevent them from becoming overtired and to help them learn to fall back asleep on their own.
No cry sleep training requires a lot of patience and can be exhausting for parents. It can take up to three weeks or more for babies to learn to fall and stay asleep without help, which is significantly longer than the CIO method. It is important to note that no sleep strategy is effective for every baby, and finding an approach that works for your family may involve some trial and error.
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The chair method
No-cry sleep training, also known as gentle sleep training, is a method that helps babies sleep more soundly and soothe themselves when they wake up without tears. The chair method is one of the three main approaches to no-cry sleep training.
- Start by tucking in your baby as usual. Stick to your baby's familiar nighttime routine, such as a final feeding, a short book, a lullaby, and some cuddling.
- Put your baby down while they are still awake but drowsy so they can learn to fall asleep alone in their crib.
- Find a seat next to the crib and offer verbal reassurance until they fall asleep. Listen for crying. Most babies fuss a little before settling down to sleep. If your baby gets worked up again after falling asleep, go in, sit in the chair, and quietly tell them it's time for bed.
- Soothe your baby by cooing or offering other soft verbal comfort or a quick pat on the back. Try not to interact too much and don't pick them up.
- Repeat this process for the next few nights, moving your chair back by a foot each night.
- After about two weeks, you can move your chair to the hallway, out of view of your child. You can choose to leave the door open or closed, depending on what you think is best for your child.
- If your baby is comfortable falling asleep independently, you can consider yourself a sleep training graduate! However, if your baby is still getting out of bed to check on you, it is recommended to stay consistent and continue building trust with your child.
While the chair method is a gradual process, it is important to remember that it does not guarantee zero crying. Some babies may cry more during this method than with a less involved approach, as they are aware of your presence and may protest to get back into bed with you. However, the crying typically doesn't last more than 30 minutes and is an expected part of teaching your child new things.
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The pick-up put-down method
No-cry sleep training, also known as gentle sleep training, is a method that helps babies sleep more soundly and soothe themselves when they wake up, without tears. There are three main approaches: The chair method, the pick-up put-down method, and scheduled awakenings.
The idea, which comes from Tracy Hogg's book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer", involves putting your baby in their crib, and if they fuss, going to them to hold and soothe them, then putting them back in the crib when they are calm. This process can be repeated as needed until the baby settles down and falls asleep.
This method can be time-consuming and requires a lot of patience and perseverance. It can take several weeks or longer to be successful, and some babies may find the recurrent interaction overstimulating, making it challenging for them to settle down.
It is important to note that there will likely be some tears with this method, as independent sleep is a challenging new skill for babies to learn. Additionally, compared to the "cry-it-out" method, the pick-up put-down method requires more time for babies to learn to fall and stay asleep without help. While the "cry-it-out" method may take a few days to work, the pick-up put-down method can take up to three weeks or more.
However, the absence of scientific evidence supporting this method does not mean it should be dismissed. It can be a gentle way to encourage sleep independence in your baby, teaching them to self-soothe and fall asleep with less help from their parents.
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Scheduled awakenings
The "no-cry sleep training" method is a gentle approach to sleep training that does not involve leaving your baby to cry alone. Instead, it involves developing quiet, cosy nighttime rituals and quickly responding to your baby's requests for food and comfort. The idea is that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child and that it is natural for babies to want to be close to their parents.
One of the three main approaches to no-cry sleep training is scheduled awakenings. This technique has been successful in decreasing night wakings, reducing the occurrence of night terrors, and shifting the wake-up time later. The technique has only been empirically tested with children between 6 months and 2.5 years, but it should theoretically apply at any age.
Here's how it works:
- Determine when your child usually has night terrors. This is likely to be somewhere between 1-3 hours after sleep onset when they are particularly tired.
- Slightly arouse and comfort your child 15-60 minutes prior to the predicted night-terror time. For occasional night terrors, do this on nights when you predict night terrors, which is commonly when your child is overtired.
- Do this for at least 3 days, then try removing the scheduled awakening. This approach works by disrupting the sleep cycle so that your child enters a new sleep cycle and sleeps through their usual wake-up time. With repetition, they can get out of the habit of waking up at that time.
- Ideally, you want your child to stir without fully waking up. If they wake up too much, they may need to go through the whole sleep cycle again, and if they don't wake up enough, they won't enter a new sleep cycle.
This approach has had variable results. For some children, it can work quickly, while for others, it can take up to 5 weeks or not work at all. It is important to note that this method does not assist with self-settling or bedtime struggles.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training. The best method is the one that works for you and your baby's needs and comfort levels. Consistency and patience are key to success, and it may take longer to see results with gentler methods that minimise crying.
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The fading method
No-cry sleep training methods are based on the belief that bedtime offers an opportunity to connect with your child by developing quiet, cosy nighttime rituals and quickly responding to their requests for food and comfort. These methods are also called gentle sleep training and are ideal for parents who are not comfortable with letting their baby cry.
Gentle sleep training advocates believe that it is natural for babies to want to be close to their parents and that the cry-it-out method (also called extinction sleep training) does not teach babies to self-soothe as advertised. While research suggests that extinction methods may result in better sleep in the short term, all babies have similar sleep patterns at around 1 year of age regardless of the sleep training method used.
To implement the fading method, you take the techniques you normally use to get your baby to fall asleep – rocking, soothing, singing, babywearing, etc. – and you start to lessen the time spent doing them to "fade" them out. For example, if your baby requires hugging and rocking to become drowsy, fading out might involve less time spent each night holding your baby until you don't need to do it at all.
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Frequently asked questions
No-cry sleep training is a gentler way of training a baby to sleep better. It is a gradual approach that involves fewer tears and more comforting methods. It involves creating a sleep-friendly environment, establishing a sleep routine, and gradually removing dependencies to encourage sleep independence.
No-cry sleep training methods include the chair method, the pick-up-put-down method, and scheduled awakenings. The chair method involves sitting near the baby's crib as they fall asleep and then moving the chair further away over time. The pick-up-put-down method involves soothing the baby when they cry and then placing them back in the cot. Scheduled awakenings involve putting the baby to sleep at progressively later times until an ideal bedtime is found.
No-cry sleep training can work, but it requires patience and dedication. While it can take up to three weeks or more, it may be much less stressful than the cry-it-out method. It is important to manage expectations and be aware of how crying triggers you. The ideal time to start sleep training depends on the baby's development and sleep patterns.
