
Astarion is a romanceable character in Baldur's Gate 3. However, it is unclear whether the player character can enter a romantic relationship with him without sleeping with him. Some players have expressed a desire to pursue a slow-burn romance with Astarion, taking the time to develop an emotional connection before becoming physically intimate. While Astarion initially uses people for sex and is unsure what love is, players have suggested that his character development could involve him opening up to the idea of a relationship without sex. Players have also observed that turning down Astarion's sexual advances in Act 1 may lock the player character out of a romance with him permanently, although this can be circumvented by loading an earlier save.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Possibility of a non-sexual romance with Astarion | Unclear, but players have suggested that they would like this option |
| Astarion's character | Not interested in romance when you meet him, doesn't "know what love is", and uses people |
| Workarounds | Players have suggested reloading a previous save to avoid locking into a platonic relationship |
| Player options | Players can choose to tell Astarion they want to take things slow or get to know him better first |
| Player options (continued) | Players can choose whether to let Astarion drink their blood, and whether to become a vampire spawn |
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What You'll Learn

Astarion's character and story arc
Astarion is a complex character in Baldur's Gate 3, with a unique story arc that unfolds across the game's three acts. He is first introduced in Act One as a rogue, feigning the need for help in defeating an Intellect Devourer, only to reveal a knife or tackle the player character to the ground when they approach. This initial encounter sets the tone for Astarion's chaotic and unpredictable nature.
Astarion's personal quest, "The Pale Elf," spans the entirety of the game and centres around his newfound freedom, the consequences of his actions, and his struggle to come to terms with both the abuse he has endured and the harm he has inflicted on others. As a vampire spawn, Astarion is immune to certain conditions and effects, such as those that do not affect the undead, and his story involves choosing whether to remain in this state or ascend to a higher power.
Astarion's character arc is notable for its exploration of trauma and healing, making it relatable to players who have experienced similar struggles. He begins the game as a comically evil character, using people for his own gain, and unsure of what love is. However, as the story progresses, he begins to feel safer and develops empathy for certain characters, indicating a shift towards chaotic neutral. This evolution in his thinking and actions is particularly evident in Act 2, where he is willing to help others even without payment, suggesting a softening of his initially ruthless nature.
The game offers players the choice to experience the story from Astarion's perspective or to recruit him as a companion. This influences the potential endings for his character arc, with the morally good ending involving Astarion choosing to remain a Vampire Spawn. While this decision comes at a cost and may negatively impact his quality of life, it prevents the controlling nature and twisted emotional attachments associated with ascending to a full vampire.
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Player character's dialogue options
When it comes to romancing Astarion, players have expressed a desire for more dialogue options that allow them to pursue a romantic relationship with him without immediately agreeing to his sexual propositions. Here are some suggested player character dialogue options that align with this preference:
"I can't say I'm not tempted, but can we take things slow?"
"I would like to get to know you better first."
"I trust you."
"I care about you, and I want to take things slow."
"Let's be friends, not lovers."
"Absolutely not. We barely know each other."
These dialogue options reflect the player character's interest in Astarion while also communicating a desire to develop a deeper emotional connection before engaging in physical intimacy.
It's worth noting that Astarion's initial disinterest in romance and his self-proclaimed ignorance of love are integral to his character arc. Players have acknowledged that skipping over this aspect of his story would diminish his character development. Therefore, the suggested dialogue options aim to respect Astarion's character progression while still allowing players who wish to pursue a romance without immediate physical intimacy to do so.
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Player character's actions
Player characters can take several actions to influence the development of a romantic relationship with Astarion. Firstly, they can choose to avoid all opportunities to sleep with him in Act One. This includes declining his advances and propositions, which may occur early in the game due to high approval ratings. Players can express that they are not interested in a physical relationship with Astarion, preferring to take things slow and get to know him better first. This may involve rejecting his flirty comments and stating that they barely know each other, prioritizing emotional connection and trust over physical intimacy.
Additionally, players can gain Astarion's approval by showing interest in him when speaking to Disciple Z'rell at Moonrise Towers. They can choose to "show her their lusts for Astarion," which earns his favour even though it does not directly progress the romance. Players can also allow Astarion to drink their blood, which he may request, further increasing his approval of the player character. However, it is important to note that allowing him to feed excessively can lead to the player character's death, so players must be cautious and may choose to stop him during this interaction.
In Act Two, players can meet Raphael for the first time, which can occur at the Last Light Inn or near the entrance to the Thorm Mausoleum. During this encounter, Raphael mocks Astarion about his scars and uses infernal magic to expose them, leading to a revealing moment for Astarion. This scene can provide players with additional insights into Astarion's self-image and inner motivations, potentially deepening their understanding of his character.
It is worth noting that some players have expressed a desire for a slower burn romance option with Astarion, where they can decline physical intimacy early in the game and still pursue a romantic relationship later. They wish for the opportunity to explore Astarion's character development and consent, showcasing his growth from using people to forming genuine connections. However, it is unclear if these player choices will ultimately impact the outcome of the romance, as some players have shared their experiences of being locked out of the romance path by making certain decisions.
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Cutscenes
While it is possible to sleep with Astarion, players have expressed interest in being able to romance him without sexual intimacy. In Baldur's Gate 3, Astarion is initially uninterested in romance, and his character uses people and is used by them. Players have the option to decline his sexual advances, but this appears to lock them out of a romantic relationship with him.
There are several cutscenes that can impact a potential romance with Astarion. One such cutscene occurs when the player arrives at Moonrise Towers and speaks to Disciple Z'rell. During this interaction, the player can choose to "Show her your lusts for Astarion", which earns his approval but does not progress the romance.
Another cutscene that can impact the romance is the one where Astarion tries to decipher his scars. If the player avoids all chances to sleep with Astarion in Act One and misses this cutscene, they can still progress the romance by meeting Raphael for the first time in Act Two. Raphael mocks Astarion about his scars and uses infernal magic to force him to show them, leading to a potential romance scene.
Additionally, there is a cutscene where Astarion asks the player character to let him drink their blood. The player can choose to stop him, but if they fail twice, the character dies. This scene does not impact a possible romance, as the player character does not need to be aware that Astarion is a vampire to sleep with him.
Players have expressed a desire for more dialogue options to pursue a slow-burn romance with Astarion, such as saying, "I can't say I am not tempted, but can we take things slow?" or "I would like to get to know you better first". They have also suggested that it would be interesting if Astarion could eventually open up to the idea of a non-sexual romance through time and commitment, realizing that the player character is more to him than just their body.
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Region-specific romance scenes
To trigger Astarion's romance scene in Baldur's Gate 3, players must gain his approval by making decisions that align with his interests and personality. Astarion, a vampire, is initially uninterested in romance and uses people for his own gain. However, players can build a relationship with him by increasing his approval through interactions at the campsite and throughout the game's story.
Players can also encounter a decision point at a bedroll, where they can choose to sleep alone or with Astarion, leading to a conversation and a passionate night. This scene provides an opportunity to let Astarion bite them, increasing his approval. However, it is important to note that the player character can die if they fail to stop Astarion from feeding on them consecutively.
In Act 3, players must complete Astarion's companion quest, which involves defeating his master, Cazador. The outcome of this quest can vary depending on the player's choices, such as whether they allow Astarion to complete a ritual or stop it. After the fight, Astarion may express disappointment if the ritual is stopped, and players can choose to follow him to a graveyard, where he opens up and expresses his desire to enjoy life.
It is worth noting that declining Astarion's sexual advances early in the game does not necessarily lock players out of future romance opportunities. Astarion's outlook on the player character's decisions may change as he grows and develops throughout the game. However, players should be mindful of maintaining a positive relationship with Astarion, as a negative relationship can hinder romantic possibilities.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it seems that if you don't sleep with Astarion in Act 1, the game locks you out of the romance permanently.
This is likely because Astarion is initially only interested in using people and has no interest in romance. If you decline his advances, he assumes you don't find him attractive and gives up on pursuing you.
Some players have suggested that it would be nice if there was an option to take things slow with Astarion and pursue a romance later in the game, but this doesn't currently seem possible.
If the player character sleeps with Astarion, he bites them and turns them into his vampire spawn. The player can choose to consent to this transformation or kick Astarion, which causes him to permanently leave the party.











































