Evie Summers
The cry it out method, also known as controlled crying, is a sleep training strategy that involves letting a baby or toddler cry for a certain period before being picked up or soothed. While some parents swear by this method, others believe it is harmful to the child's development. Pediatricians advise waiting until a baby is at least 16 weeks old and weighs 14 pounds before starting sleep training, including the cry-it-out method. Some parents who have used the cry-it-out method report that it worked well for their children, while others have expressed concerns about the potential for developmental issues. Ultimately, the decision to use the cry-it-out method depends on individual circumstances and parental judgment.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Cry it out method | Letting a child cry for a period of time before soothing them |
| Controlled crying method | Allowing a baby to cry but providing comfort at scheduled intervals, such as 2 or 5 minutes, that increase over time |
| Extinction method | Placing the baby in their crib and letting them cry until they fall asleep |
| Graduated extinction method | Allowing the baby to cry for gradually longer periods of time before soothing them |
| Full extinction method | Letting the baby cry until they stop crying or fall asleep without any parent interaction or checks |
| Dream feeding | Awakening the baby to feed them just before the parent goes to bed, increasing the baby's sleep time |
| Baby-led soothing | The baby calms down without intervention from a caregiver |
| Pick up put down | A higher parental involvement approach, often better for younger babies |
| Bedtime routine fading | A more hands-on approach to sleep training |
| Camping out | Sleeping next to the baby's crib |
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What You'll Learn
Controlled crying
The idea behind controlled crying is to teach your child to self-soothe, so they can fall asleep on their own and self-settle when they wake up in the night. It is important to ensure that your baby is not hungry, thirsty, ill, or upset before using this technique.
Some parents have found success with controlled crying, reporting that it only took a few nights for their child to sleep well on their own. However, others have expressed concern over the potential negative impact on their child's well-being. It is important to note that controlled crying may not be suitable for all children, and there are differing opinions among parents and experts.
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Developmental Trauma Disorder
Leaving a two-year-old to cry themselves to sleep is a controversial topic, with some parents advocating for the "cry it out" method, while others believe it can lead to developmental trauma disorder (DTD). The "cry it out" method involves letting a child cry for a period before being soothed, with some variations suggesting scheduled comforting at intervals, and others suggesting letting the child cry until they fall asleep without intervention. Proponents of this method argue that it teaches children to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own, promoting better sleep habits in the long run.
On the other hand, some parents worry that letting a child cry themselves to sleep can cause emotional harm and lead to DTD. DTD is a proposed diagnosis that aims to capture the dysfunctions experienced by children exposed to chronic traumatic stress, who may not meet the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Children with DTD have experienced or witnessed prolonged adverse events, such as abuse, neglect, or interpersonal violence, which have impacted their mental health, emotional regulation, and interpersonal relationships.
While the "cry it out" method may work for some children without causing any lasting harm, it is important to consider the potential risks and the individual needs of each child. Some children may be more vulnerable to the negative effects of this method, and it is crucial for parents to trust their instincts and respond to their child's needs. Leaving a child to cry alone can interrupt the development of secure attachment and lead to feelings of fear, uncertainty, and pain.
Additionally, it is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and what works for one child may not work for another. Parents should be mindful of their child's unique needs and respond accordingly, seeking professional advice if they have concerns about their child's well-being. While the "cry it out" method may be effective for some, it should be approached with caution and should never be used as a form of punishment or neglect.
In conclusion, while the "cry it out" method may be a viable option for some parents, it is essential to consider the potential risks of DTD and prioritize the emotional well-being of children above all else. Parents should remain responsive to their child's needs and seek alternative methods if they feel that the "cry it out" approach is causing distress or negatively impacting their child's development.
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Crying it out methods
- Controlled crying or controlled comforting: This method involves allowing your baby to fuss or cry but providing comfort at scheduled intervals, such as 2 or 5 minutes, that gradually increase over time.
- Graduated extinction: This is a form of CIO where the baby is allowed to fuss or cry for gradually longer periods of time before being soothed.
- Full extinction: This method involves placing the baby in their crib and letting them fuss or cry until they fall asleep without any intervention.
- The Richard Ferber method: This method uses the graduated extinction model, encouraging parents to put their babies to bed when they are drowsy but still awake.
- The Weissbluth method: This method suggests letting babies cry for 10 to 20 minutes before sleeping and recommends starting with infants as young as 5 to 6 weeks old. At 4 months old, Weissbluth recommends "full extinction".
When deciding whether to use a CIO method, it is important to consider the age of the baby. Pediatricians advise waiting until a baby is at least 16 weeks old and weighs 14 pounds before starting sleep training. Some sources suggest that CIO methods may be ineffective before 6 months old, as babies younger than 4 months old do not have established sleep cycles yet. Additionally, it is crucial to maintain a consistent bedtime routine and ensure that all caregivers are on the same page regarding the sleep training approach.
While CIO methods can be effective, they may not be suitable for all babies and families. It is important to pay close attention to the baby's needs and be prepared to stop the training if the baby seems distressed or unwell.
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Sleep training
The CIO method has several variations, including "controlled crying" or "controlled comforting", which involves providing comfort at scheduled intervals that gradually increase over time. Another variation is "graduated extinction", where the baby is allowed to cry for gradually longer periods before being soothed. In "full extinction", the baby is left to cry until they fall asleep without any intervention.
Some parents who have used the CIO method report success, with their children learning to sleep through the night after a few nights of crying. However, others have expressed concern that this method could cause developmental issues or trauma. It is important to note that every child is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training.
When considering sleep training a 2-year-old, it is essential to be consistent and patient. One approach is to lay the child down at bedtime and leave them to cry for short intervals, gradually increasing the time before going in to comfort them. This method can help the child understand that bedtime is for sleep and not messing around. However, it is important to trust your instincts and choose a more hands-on approach if you feel the CIO method is not working for your child.
Additionally, it is crucial to ensure that your child's basic needs are met before considering sleep training. If your child is unwell or distressed for reasons other than sleep, it is essential to respond to their needs immediately and not let them cry it out. It is also recommended to wait until your child is at least 4 months old before starting sleep training, as their circadian rhythm is still maturing during the first few months of life.
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Parenting techniques
There are a variety of views and techniques when it comes to letting a 2-year-old cry themselves to sleep. Some parents are strictly against the idea, citing concerns about Developmental Trauma Disorder and attachment theory. They believe that there is a need behind every behaviour and that needs must be met. However, others have found success with different methods of sleep training, including the “cry it out” (CIO) method. It is important to note that sleep training does not always equate to the CIO method, and there are gentler approaches available.
The CIO method involves letting a baby cry as they learn to fall asleep independently. This method can be started when a baby is at least 4 months old, according to pediatricians, and some sources suggest waiting until they are at least 16 weeks old and weigh 14 pounds. The CIO method is not recommended for newborns, as feeding takes priority over sleep, and their circadian rhythm is still maturing.
There are several variations of the CIO method, including:
- Controlled crying or controlled comforting: Allowing the baby to cry but providing comfort at scheduled intervals, such as 2 or 5 minutes, gradually increasing over time.
- Extinction: Placing the baby safely in their crib and letting them cry until they fall asleep. The parent may choose to remain nearby or outside the room.
- Graduated extinction: Allowing the baby to cry for gradually longer periods before providing comfort.
- Full extinction: Placing the baby in their crib and letting them cry until they fall asleep without any intervention.
When implementing the CIO method, consistency is key. It may take a few nights or even a week for the baby to adjust, but eventually, they should get the idea. Some parents choose to go in and check on the baby during the process, but without taking them out of the crib. It is important to trust your instincts and choose a different approach if you have doubts about the CIO method.
Other sleep training techniques include the “pick up put down” method, which is a higher parental involvement approach that may be more suitable for younger babies. Creating a predictable bedtime routine and maintaining sleep rhythms can also help with sleep training.
While some parents have found success with the CIO method, it is not for everyone, and it is important to consider your child's needs and choose the approach that feels right for your family.
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Frequently asked questions
There is no definitive answer to this question as different parents have different approaches. Some parents swear by the "cry-it-out" method, while others believe it is harmful to the child's development. Pediatricians advise waiting until your baby is at least 16 weeks old before starting sleep training, including the cry-it-out method.
The "cry-it-out" (CIO) method is a sleep training technique where parents let their child cry for a period of time before providing comfort or picking them up. This method aims to teach babies to fall asleep independently.
Yes, there are several variations of the CIO method. These include controlled crying, extinction, graduated extinction, and full extinction. Each method varies in the level of parental involvement and the amount of time allowed for crying.
Sleep training is generally recommended for babies who are at least 4 months old and weigh at least 11 pounds. However, it is important to consider your child's unique development and sleep patterns. Some babies may still wake up multiple times a night, even with sleep training.
There are gentler sleep training approaches that involve higher parental involvement. These include the "pick up put down" method, camping out (sleeping next to the baby's crib), and maintaining a consistent bedtime routine. It is important to trust your instincts and choose a method that aligns with your parenting style and your child's needs.
