Miya Pearson
Holding your newborn while they sleep is a rewarding experience for any new parent. It is a common occurrence, as newborns crave the comfort and security of being held, having spent the last nine months in the womb. The sound of your heartbeat, your body warmth, and the familiarity of your body help your baby feel safe and secure. While it is beneficial for the baby, holding your newborn while they sleep can interfere with your sleep and daily routine. Additionally, it may become a habit for older babies and be harder to break.
Can I hold my newborn while they sleep?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Bonding | Holding your newborn while they sleep can improve the bond you have with your baby by providing comfort and safety. |
| Sleep training | You cannot sleep train a newborn, but you can foster and improve the bond you have with your baby. |
| Sleep deprivation | Always holding your baby while they sleep can lead to sleep deprivation for the parent. |
| Safety | Holding your baby while they sleep can be unsafe if the parent falls asleep and accidentally drops the baby. |
| Sleep association | Holding your baby while they sleep can lead to the development of a sleep association, where the baby relies on being held to fall asleep. |
| Circadian rhythm | Once your baby starts to develop their circadian rhythm, around 3-4 months, you may need to stop holding them while they sleep to prevent sleep association. |
| Sleep environment | It is important to ensure that all sleep surfaces and products used to help your baby sleep are safe and approved by the relevant authorities. |
| Room-sharing | The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing. Bed-sharing increases the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and other sleep-related deaths. |
| Sleep position | Always place your baby on their back to sleep, not on their stomach or side. |
| Swaddling | Swaddling your baby can help them feel safe and secure and prevent them from startling themselves awake. |
| Soothing techniques | Holding your baby, rocking them, and singing to them can help soothe them and make it easier for them to fall asleep. |
| Sleep schedule | Newborns do not have a sense of day and night and will sleep around the clock. It may take a few weeks for a baby's brain to differentiate between night and day. |
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What You'll Learn
It's normal and beneficial to hold your newborn while they sleep
Newborns follow their own schedule and tend to sleep around the clock, waking every couple of hours to feed. During the first weeks of a baby's life, some parents choose to room-share, which involves placing the baby's crib in the parents' bedroom to facilitate feeding, comforting, and monitoring. While room-sharing is safe, putting your infant to sleep in the same bed is not recommended as it increases the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related deaths.
It is normal and beneficial to hold your newborn while they sleep. For newborns, being held against your body and hearing your heartbeat feels familiar, as they were constantly in motion and used to hearing your heartbeat in the womb. The motion and movement of being held can also help soothe them, and your body temperature can help them regulate their own temperature, which they are unable to do on their own at first. Contact naps are a great way for your newborn to adjust to the outside world, and they can help foster a strong bond between you and your baby.
While it is normal and beneficial to hold your newborn while they sleep, it is important to eventually transition them to sleeping independently. This is because, as they get older, they could develop a sleep association, relying on being held to fall asleep. Additionally, always holding your baby while they sleep can impact your sleep as a parent, as it is unsafe to hold your baby while you are also asleep.
There are several signs that can indicate it is time to start transitioning your baby to nap independently. For example, when your baby starts to intentionally smile at you, usually around 6 to 8 weeks, they are forming strong associations from repeated behavior. Another sign is when your baby starts to develop their circadian rhythm and understands patterns and routines, which typically happens around 3 to 4 months.
In conclusion, while it is normal and beneficial to hold your newborn while they sleep, it is important to eventually transition them to sleeping independently to prevent the development of sleep associations and to ensure you are getting adequate rest as a parent.
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You can't spoil a newborn by holding them too much
It is a common concern for new parents that holding their newborn too much will spoil them. However, this is a myth, and it is impossible to spoil a newborn by holding them too much. In fact, holding your newborn frequently in their early weeks can be beneficial for their development.
A newborn's brain is not fully developed, and being held by their parent helps them respond to new stimuli in their environment and begin to self-regulate. The closeness and security that come with being held by a parent help the newborn feel safe and create a strong and secure bond with them. The motion and movement of being held can also help soothe them, as they were constantly in motion before they were born. Additionally, your body temperature can help them regulate their own temperature, which they are unable to do at the beginning of their life.
Holding your newborn while they sleep is normal and often recommended, as it provides many benefits. Contact naps are a great way for your newborn to adjust to the outside world, and the scent of the parent can be very important in getting them to sleep. However, once your baby starts to develop their circadian rhythm and understand patterns and routines, which happens around 3-4 months, you could consider stopping holding them while they sleep. This is because at this age, they could develop a sleep association, relying on being held to fall asleep.
While it is beneficial to hold your newborn frequently, it is also important to put them in their crib once they become drowsy but before they fall asleep. This will help them get used to sleeping on their own and prevent sleep associations from forming. Additionally, always holding your baby while they sleep can impact your sleep as a parent, as it is unsafe to hold them while you are also asleep.
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You can't sleep train a newborn, but you can foster a bond
The early days of a newborn's life are a critical period for bonding, and holding your baby while they sleep is a great way to do this. In fact, it's a necessity to hold newborns for sleep, at least some of the time, to give them the closeness and security they need. They have just spent nine months in the womb, enjoying the ambient sounds and snug surroundings, and it's only natural that they crave these comforts. For newborns, being held against your body and hearing your heartbeat feels familiar, and the motion of being held can also help to soothe them, as they were constantly in motion in the womb. Your body temperature can also help them regulate their own, which they are unable to do at the beginning of their lives.
However, holding your baby every time they sleep can become unsustainable for parents as it may interfere with your sleep, and therefore your ability to function the next day. It can also become a habit for an older baby that is hard to break. It is unsafe to hold your baby while you are asleep, and there is a risk of accidentally dropping them if you fall asleep while holding them.
If you are feeling exhausted, and your baby is not sleeping well despite your constant assistance, it is time to update your approach to sleep. You can start to offer naps in the bassinet or crib (never your bed) to get your baby comfortable with sleeping without you. You can also try swaddling them before you put them in bed, as this can help them feel safe and prevent them from startling themselves awake. Playing white or pink noise while your baby is drowsy can also help them fall asleep and stay asleep.
While you can't sleep train a newborn, you can begin to teach them to sleep independently from around 6-8 weeks when their brain starts to make associations. You can help them associate their crib or bassinet with sleep by repeatedly placing them down in their crib when they are tired or already asleep. If they wake right away, do your best to soothe them and keep them there. This teaches them that they are safe to sleep on their own and allows them to start feeling safe and secure in their sleep space.
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Babies who are held during the day tend to have less colic and fussiness
Holding your newborn while they sleep is normal and often recommended. For newborns, being held against your body and hearing your heartbeat feels familiar, as they were used to this in the womb. The motion and movement of being held can also help soothe them, as they were constantly in motion before they were born. Your body temperature can also help them regulate their own temperature, which is something newborns are unable to do themselves.
There are many benefits to holding your baby during the day. Firstly, it helps to build a strong bond between parent and child. Skin-to-skin contact with your baby promotes parental attachment, can help increase breast milk supply for lactating parents, and even reduce the risk of postpartum depression. Holding your baby also helps to curb crying, regulate breathing and heart rate, and improve weight gain. Studies have also shown that holding your baby can lower their chances of developing depression in their teenage and tween years.
While it is beneficial to hold your newborn during the day and while they sleep, it is important to gradually allow them to nap independently. This is because, once your baby starts to develop their circadian rhythm and understand patterns and routines, they could develop a sleep association, relying on being held to fall asleep.
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Tips for transitioning your baby to independent sleep
Holding your newborn baby while they sleep is normal and often recommended. It is a great way for your newborn to adjust to the outside world and for you to bond with your baby. However, contact naps may become a habit for an older baby that is harder to break. Once your baby starts to develop their circadian rhythm and understand patterns and routines, they could develop a sleep association, relying on being held to fall asleep.
- Feed your baby before starting your bedtime routine to help reduce the chance that they will fall asleep while eating. This ensures your baby is awake when you put them down in their crib, so they don't wake up shocked that they are not in your arms.
- Start to offer naps in the bassinet or crib to get your baby comfortable with sleeping without you. You can wear the crib or bassinet sheet down your T-shirt for a day so that it takes on your scent. For newborns especially, scent can be very important to get them to sleep in their crib.
- If your baby is showing no signs of rolling over, you can swaddle them before putting them in bed to keep them extra cozy, like a warm hug.
- Don't rock your baby to sleep. Don't wait until your baby is asleep before putting them in their crib. If you are rocking your child to sleep every night, they will have a harder time learning to fall asleep without you. Put your baby in their crib when they are drowsy but still awake.
- Let your baby fuss. When you hear your baby start to fuss, that’s your cue to stay put. Let them try and fall asleep on their own. If their crying continues for several minutes, you can go into their room, but don’t turn on the light, pick them up, or play with them. You can give them a gentle pat on the tummy and tell them to go back to sleep. If they have a pacifier, you can give it back to them. Keep your tone soothing and gentle.
- Be patient. Sometimes it can take several weeks for your baby to get the hang of putting themselves to sleep.
- If your child is under 2½ or even 3 years old, consider making the transition to a crib rather than a bed. Children under 2½ typically lack the self-control needed to understand the rules of sleeping in a big bed.
- Spend 3 nights co-sleeping in your child’s room before beginning sleep coaching. This helps the space become familiar before the big step to independent sleep.
- Talk to your child about the move, especially if they are a toddler. Children often begin to have very good receptive language by about 1 year old. Even younger children are starting to take in and process information about all sorts of things that their parents tell them. You can begin having these conversations even 3-5 days before making the move.
- Introduce a security object or a transitional object. This can be a great way for your child to start to learn how to separate from you at bedtime but still have a comfort object nearby for sleeping.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, it is safe to hold your newborn while they sleep. In fact, it is normal and often recommended that you do so. For newborns, being held against your body and hearing your heartbeat feels familiar, as they are used to the warmth and comfort of the womb. Your body temperature can also help them regulate their own temperature, and the motion and movement of being held can help soothe them.
Yes, there are several benefits to holding your newborn while they sleep. Holding your newborn will help them feel safe and secure, and it will also foster and improve the bond between you and your baby. Additionally, research shows that skin-to-skin contact provides many benefits for newborns.
Yes, there are some risks associated with holding your newborn while they sleep. If you always hold your baby while they sleep, they may develop a sleep association and rely on being held to fall asleep as they get older. This may impact your sleep as a parent and make it difficult for you to get things done during the day. There is also a risk of you falling asleep while holding your baby and accidentally dropping them.
It is important to gradually transition your newborn to sleeping independently. You can start by creating a bedtime routine and offering naps in their bassinet or crib. You can also try swaddling your baby, playing white or pink noise, and putting them down for a nap when they are tired but not overtired. By 6-8 weeks, your baby's brain can make associations, so this is a good time to start teaching them to nap independently.
